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Unread 06-11-2017, 09:57 AM   #1
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Default Don't know where to start

I just don't even know where to start,

i am in a relationship with a narcissist, i've been learning what i can online for a few months now, after figuring out im not crazy/deluded/forgetful to the extreme ect, but instead my partner has narcissistic traits,

i have learnt to cope with him a bit better, and simply understanding it is mr hyde who is the bad one, and my Dr Jekyll needs some help has been very helpful in reducing my retaliation to his behaviour

against advice i found online i have put the suggestion to my partner that may have narcissistic traits, it got to the point where it was tell him or leave.

he read some info i had printed off about narcissistic and could see plenty of similarities in himself,
and he has an appointment booked with our
GP in a couple of weeks, this is all great and when he said these things obviously i was thrilled he wanted help.

a few days later,i'm thinking i'm not sure if he meant it or if it is another game to keep me from leaving, as the only times he has opened up and seriously talked about this in a way he never has before, is the two times in the last 2 months when i was going to leave him..

i really want to (and obviously do, as i'm still here) believe when he says that he wants to change,
but its difficult to keep believing when his behaviour is still the same, which i know it will be for a while as it wont happen over night...

its so hard to tell what is real and what isn't.

i need some support, there is no one in my life with whom i can discuss this with.

any advise would be greatly received.
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Unread 06-11-2017, 07:23 PM   #2
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Hello Mybrainneedssupport: I'm sorry I cannot really offer any advice. However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!
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Unread 06-15-2017, 10:16 AM   #3
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Default Re: Don't know where to start

Hi,

I'm currently dealing with a Narsissist.
Until your boyfriend is diagnosed by a professional you can't be sure he has this Personality Disorder. If he is a Narcissist he is just playing with your head. He won't change. You can not fix him

Wish you all the best
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Unread 06-19-2017, 12:36 AM   #4
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Default Re: Don't know where to start

Welcome

My partner has Borderline personality disorder so it's not quite the same however he does exhibit some narsisitic traits, it's not the easiest path to tread but touch wood you'll find Psych central as helpful and supportive as i have
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Unread 06-19-2017, 08:32 AM   #5
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Default Re: Don't know where to start

You must realize that you cannot change someone. They alone have that power.

If the situation you're in is making you upset, leave. I know it seems like you would be worse off alone, but you need a stable, well adjusted partner.

You can always count on some good advice here in this forum.
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Unread 06-20-2017, 08:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: Don't know where to start

Hi--my wife has strong narcissist traits but has never been diagnosed. She finally agreed to couples therapy three weeks ago but I think only because she was desperate. She's never had therapy but when we've gone to our daughter's therapists she's gotten highly (!!) annoyed about suggestions that she might be contributing to "home life stress" or "stress within the family". Besides which, her idea of therapy is that she's in charge and everyone else there is supposed to get fixed and treat her better. Doesnt matter because separation is now closer than therapy, but I cant see that therapy would have helped.
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