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Old 07-12-2018, 06:25 PM   #1
Bigmoney25
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Default Is my wife a Narcissist?

Me and my wife have been married almost 2 years. We got married exactly 6 months of being together and found out a month later she was pregnant. She was my dream girl. We are 7 years apart. I'm 32 and shes 25. She seemed like such a great woman and I fell head over heals for her quickly. Well it all started 2 weeks after we got married. She got mad at me because we were talking about this girl that her ex husband knows and I know. Well since they knew each other I figured it would come out that me and that girl had sex 3 years before I met my wife. Figured it was a long time ago i was honest so she wouldn't find out from her ex husband. And she lost it! Told me i was a ***** and bunch of other stuff. The next day she wouldn't even talk to me. Finally that night she came home high on klonopin and i sucked up to her big time and we cuddled on the couch watched a movie and had make up sex and then everything was fine again. She loved me and everything.

Shortly after that I noticed she seemed moody a lot more. Moods were everywhere. She sleep all the time. Let her 2 boys from her previous marriage run around the house while she laid in the bed sleeping with the door closed. Not safe when they were 3 and 2. But she would say you don't like me like I love you, you don't love me and I could go on.

My son has ADHD and he would tell stories at school. Before we got him on the right meds he was a hellion. Well CPS got called and did a check on us which we passed. Some of the reports were correct as in my wife sleeping when kid are up. Well my wife got super mad because she blamed my son for CPS for being called. Started another huge fight her telling me he needs to go stay with his mom or my parents during the week because she can't handle him and so on. Since then think she had a grudge against him. She hated the fact she was put 2nd and not first. She always said she should be first best not 2nd best.

Fast forward now to after my daughter was born. She started to hate my family. It got way worse after my son mad her mad in Oct. I don't remember what it was but she said she hated me so I told her if she hated me so much to go to her moms and she left. Next day she called me telling me my son had to stay with my parents or his mom again. I have full custody of him btw. I told her no. She started telling my he has a major issue and he will never be fixed. He will always be a little fer and a pos. My mom heard this and called her a ****ing *****. That's when this started to get very bad. I went to talk to my wife and she told me she hated my son and stuff. Well now she claims she never said that. Anyways she wanted me to text my mom and tell my mom to keep her mouth shut and to not talk to my wife like that. That was just the start of the war

She would now start telling my mom is a drug addict looking *****, a *****, ****, and man I could go on. Thanksgiving was hell. She wouldn't let my family see my daughter cuz they were the enemy. If I did bring her over there she would yell at me and tell me I didn't care about her feelings and stuff.

Fast forward to new years eve. I have the flu. Puking all day. She took care of me to a point. Made soup and stuff. But by evening time she wanted to go out. I didn't really want to but she threw a fit so we went out with the kids. Got into a huge fight again. We get home she started texting me telling me she told her guy friends she had no new years eve kiss and we didn't have a connection and that shes horny and wanted go have sex with someone else right now and she would find someone that would treat her better. I kept telling her that was so messed up to say. And she didn't care. She kept saying we weren't together and so on. The next day I sucked up to her and by the evening she loved me again and i was a great hubby.

Now we're fighting a lot more. I get anxiety coming home from work not knowing who it was gonna be. Jekyl or hyde. Felt like I was walking on egg shells all the time. Valentines day sucked. We got into a few fights where I'd leave for the night. Went thru a custody battle for my son because his mom didn't like what my wife was doing and stuff.

Well a few months ago my son was at his mom's and i didn't give her enough medication. So I told her I'd meet her somewhere to drop more off. We got into a argument and my wife got mad and started messaging my sons mom. Who then called the cops on my wife. My wife didn't want to meet her. She wanted me to drive a hr home and then I would have to drive a hr back. I said no I drove to the gas station which was on our way home to drop the meds off. My wife got so mad she left me at the gas station! And to this day she said that's no big deal and for me to get over it.

My parents would ask me to come help them sometimes. She would get super mad and we would get into a fight. She tell me my family is to involved and her family isn't like that. I said your family don't care she said they do to and your family just wants to have sex with you! What?! Where do you come up with that disgusting crap. Or she says I go there to suck my dad off. Which she said she never said that cuz she would never say that.

She tell me she think the reason my mom is the way she is to her is because my mom is jealous that she is banging me and not my mom. Omg that's gross

She dyed her hair blonde! Which then her ego got bigger. She would say she is so hot, shes A1, shes prime and so on. After I left her a few weeks ago she told me I'm gonna regret this someday cuz shes gonna be so hot and I'm gonna be with the fatties wishing I was still with her cuz she'll be so hot. Guys message her all the time and yes she was talking to guys during our marriage. I did talk to my ex wife like 2 times but it was cuz she had a question about something. I'd tel her to get rid of these guys but she never did.

This is some of the stuff that happened. Most of the big stuff. If I remember more I'll post em. But what do you guys think? Narc or what?
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Old 07-13-2018, 12:59 PM   #2
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Hello Bigmoney: I'm sorry but we here on PsychCentral cannot diagnose your wife. From what you wrote, it sounds as though the two of you have had many difficult interactions. However mental health diagnosis is a job for mental health professionals. We here on PC are mostly people who struggle with our own mental health issues. And our purpose is to exchange information & provide one another with support.

I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So.. welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

One other forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...communication/

I wish you well...
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Old 02-07-2019, 12:06 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigmoney25 View Post

Felt like I was walking on egg shells all the time.
That's not a good quality of life. You deserve better.

Wishing you healing and peace.
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Old 02-07-2019, 01:53 AM   #4
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There are plenty of narsisist quizzes taken by a suspected narsisist or someone dealing with a possible narsisist. Do a internet search for narsisist quiz. You can take multiple quizzes to double check you results since different tests may give different results.
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Old 02-07-2019, 01:55 AM   #5
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These test are only indicators. The determination is narsisim is best diagnosed by a professional.
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Old 02-09-2019, 04:09 AM   #6
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I think the narcissism label is tossed around way to much and I feel it is unfair to note someone's bad behavior and pick a mental health label to slap on it but thats me. I think your wife abuses Klonopin which can cause personality changes beyond being sleepy and dopey. It can make you more tearful, in certain cases it can make you argumentative and combative. Delusional sometimes. I am in the recovery community and I have seen enough benzo highs that go beyond being knocked out so this is a real possibility. Who takes care of the kids if she is sleeping all day? Am I understanding correctly that between the two of you you have four kids? It doesnt sound like your son was telling stories. Unfortunately this is the type of stuff that happens when you marry quickly and do not know the other person that well. I think your job is to be there for your son and keep him away from her toxicity at all costs.
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