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Old 05-31-2018, 06:36 PM   #121
Anrea
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Still over eating daily. Never satiated.
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Old 06-02-2018, 09:16 PM   #122
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Ate lean cuisine and sugar free hello. Good dinner for diet. Did not overeat.
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Old 06-02-2018, 09:22 PM   #123
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I ate so much last night, I was beyond stuffed. So I didnt eat anything at all this morning, had lunch at 2 as the first food of the day. Had some snacks and then dinner and then more snacks but not too much overall today. I think I am going to weigh myself tommorrow. I have probably gained. I would rather know now than be surpised with an unexpected lecture at the doctor.
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Old 06-02-2018, 10:56 PM   #124
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I so know this feeling. It is like I pig out and then the next day I try to over correct so there would not be any consequences. I need to be a consistent eater.
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Old 06-05-2018, 01:00 PM   #125
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Originally Posted by dancinglady View Post
I so know this feeling. It is like I pig out and then the next day I try to over correct so there would not be any consequences. I need to be a consistent eater.
Yeah I need to be more consistent too.
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Old 06-05-2018, 09:25 PM   #126
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I totally understand what you mean

I used to be "sober" as I like to call it for a period of a few weeks,
but then as soon as I'm finally taking care of myself and eating well, etc., there's a part of me that says, no that's wrong, now binge.

I've had this problem for 6 years now, I'm honestly still surprise I'm alive xx
I thought I was going to have a heart attack last May, because my eating got so bad, I experienced really bad chest pain and couldn't breathe properly, I hate this thing I have and the worst thing is, I can't tell anyone about it b/c they'll just think I'm greedy and lazy
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Old 07-03-2018, 11:37 AM   #127
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Originally Posted by gdog_rox View Post
I totally understand what you mean

I used to be "sober" as I like to call it for a period of a few weeks,
but then as soon as I'm finally taking care of myself and eating well, etc., there's a part of me that says, no that's wrong, now binge.

I've had this problem for 6 years now, I'm honestly still surprise I'm alive xx
I thought I was going to have a heart attack last May, because my eating got so bad, I experienced really bad chest pain and couldn't breathe properly, I hate this thing I have and the worst thing is, I can't tell anyone about it b/c they'll just think I'm greedy and lazy
Welcome to PC! Sorry I am just seeing this now. I think telling a doctor or therapist would be a good idea.
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:52 PM   #128
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Well, after years of floundering, I think I'm finally on the recovery path.

I have let go of the idea of restrictive, quick-fix diets, and I have a moderate food plan.

I've beem reading loads on emotional eating, and mindful eating and moderate eating..slowing some of it's starting to sink in and stick.

This has been a real challenge, because for the past 5 years I've been getting caught up in the fantasy of dieting and quick weight-loss. My disordered brain thinks an overly restrictive diet would be so much easier than eating reasonably and losing weight slowly. But I can't stick with those diets for more than a day or two. The hunger keeps me up, and it doesn't solve. the reasons I overeat to begin with. Eating with a moderate food plan isn't very glamorous, and it forces me to confront what's really going on with me, but I'm finally convinced it's the way to go. It's already making me feel a hell of a lot less crazy where food is concerned

Every week I put chocolate bars, a kind that is a real trigger for me in our grocery order- they're for Mr. Tortie to take to work. I don't have to see them or be tempted for more than the few seconds when I pull them out of the shopping bag and put them with his things. He takes all of them to work on Monday morning and keeps them in his locker, so I don't have to be bothered by them.

Yesterday, he forgot to take them. I'd only had a few hours sleep, which is usually when I'm most vulnerable to several small binges. But I managed to not eat even a square of it.

I think if I'd been trying one of my many attempts at a overly-restrictive diet, I wouldn't have had any resolve. It was uncomfortable, and at times really unpleasant. I had a few moments feeling sorry for myself, but I knew I'm feel I'd feel a lot worse if I ate one of those bars.

I've been allowing myself a hot chocolate at night. This has far fewer calories than my normal late night grazing/bingeing sessions. It takes a while to drink a hot chocolate, and it's comforting. I tried forgoing sweets altogether, but this only led to full-on binges.

I'm staying off the scale for now, and focusing on sticking to my eating plan, and my daily exercise routine. This feels like progress not perfection, and it feels sane.
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Old 07-11-2018, 01:30 PM   #129
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Yesterday I had an experience of all or nothing thinking and recovered.

I had a cooking fail, and I was hungry so quickly made myself an alternative dinner. It wasn't the healthiest option but it was fine. But my little disordered brain immediately went down the road of "well you've messed up". And late last night I started to pull stuff out of the cupboards to make cookies in order to have a binge. And I stopped myself. I actually reversed and put everything away and made myself a hot chocolate instead and I was ok.

I allowed my thoughts to go into the grey area of "well, little detours in our eating plans do happen, just get back on track straight away and everything will be fine" But black and white thinking says "well you've blown it" and "you've let yourself down" I will mentally beat myself up and then felt the need to console myself with food. I did go down that path last night but managed to interrupt the runaway thoughts, challenge them and do something imperfect but wiser.
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Old 07-12-2018, 12:57 PM   #130
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Insomnia nearly gave me the excuse for 3 am eating session. And I almost threw in the towel, as I've done several times before..I have insomnia, I have to eat in the middle of the night or I'll never sleep, I tell myself. I'm stuck being fat because of this damn insomnia. But I stopped my thoughts. I don't really think that's true. I don't think that I'm destined to a compulsive over eater because of my lack of sleep. It makes it harder, sure, but I don't really believe I need to overeat in order to get back to sleep in the middle of the night.

I did lose a few hours sleep, but I think I just believed I was hungry when really I've just conditioned myself to eat in the middle of the night because I've done it so often. It's become an automatic response to sleeplessness. I did eventually get back to sleep despite not raiding the kitchen.

If I was really all that hungry, I would have torn apart the kitchen the moment I woke up. But I calmly did my pre-breakfast routine as usual.
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