Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > General > General Social Chat > Our Pets



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 01-05-2011, 03:36 PM   #1
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is needing to stop shopping.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,261 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

5 yr Member
13.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default pet humor

One of the ways I cope with life is by always looking for the humor in it. So, since I read a lot of jokes and look for other humor, I thought maybe I could start this pet humor thread, so people could post animal jokes, pictures, videos, and even humorous stories about their own pets. I'll start, anyway! And I hope some of the rest of you will add some things, too!


A lady went into a pet shop. There was a parrot on his perch. She said, "Oh, I've always wanted a parrot. I'm going to buy him!"

The man said, "Now, lady, I can understand if you want a parrot, but I'm not sure if you want this bird. He talks all right, but he curses and talks very ugly."

She said, "That's okay. I'll straighten him out. I know I can retrain him. So, I'm going to buy him."

Sure enough, she hadn't had him too long when he ripped out all the curse words you can imagine.

She was very upset. "You are not allowed to talk that way," she told the bird. "But I'm going to give you another chance. And you say, 'Yes, ma'am' when I ask you questions. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," the parrot responded.

He did okay for a bit, but then he forgot and spouted off again, so she put him in the freezer. Sometime later, when she figured he had learned his lesson, she took him out. He had frost on his feathers, he was rigid, and his beak was blue! When he had thawed out, the owner said, "Now, don't talk like that anymore! Do you understand now?"

"Yes, ma'am," the parrot answered. "All I want to know is--what in the world did the turkey in there do?"

(I hope I didn't get off to a bad start with "animal abuse"! )
__________________
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With Quote

advertisement
Unread 01-05-2011, 05:35 PM   #2
Member
 
Kymaro's Avatar
Kymaro has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: In my own world
Posts: 357
My Mood:

5 yr Member
11 hugs
given
Default Re: pet humor

lol- good one, I dont have one now but going off to look for one.
__________________
Always Keep Fighting
Kymaro is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-06-2011, 08:46 AM   #3
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is needing to stop shopping.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,261 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

5 yr Member
13.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked.

"No," said the man. A few minutes later the dog took a bite out of the man's leg.

"Hey," said the man, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite."

"That's not my dog," replied the man.
__________________
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-06-2011, 04:44 PM   #4
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is needing to stop shopping.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,261 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

5 yr Member
13.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

__________________
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 01-07-2011, 10:04 AM   #5
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is needing to stop shopping.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,261 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

5 yr Member
13.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

A man brought a very limp dog into the vet's office. As he laid the dog on the table, Doctor Buck pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the Doc shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."

"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"

With that, Doc turned and left the room. In a few minutes, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The retriever went right to work, sniffing the poor dog and checking him out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the retriever shook his head sadly and said, "Woof."

The vet then took the retriever out and brought in a cat. The cat walked around the poor dog several times and then sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." Then the cat jumped off the table and left the room.

The vet said, "Well, there's nothing more that I can do." He handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner said, "That's ridiculous. $600 just to tell me that my dog has passed on!"

The Doc shook his head, again sadly. "If you had just taken my word for it, then the cost would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan.... $600!"
__________________
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-07-2011, 11:25 AM   #6
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is needing to stop shopping.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,261 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

5 yr Member
13.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

__________________
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-07-2011, 03:56 PM   #7
Major Dog Lover
 
sundog's Avatar
sundog has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, California
Posts: 33,515 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

__________________

Peace is every step
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
sundog is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-07-2011, 05:16 PM   #8
Major Dog Lover
 
sundog's Avatar
sundog has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, California
Posts: 33,515 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

__________________

Peace is every step
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
sundog is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-07-2011, 07:14 PM   #9
Wisest Elder Ever
 
greylove's Avatar
greylove has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Posts: 56,306 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
789 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

greylove is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-08-2011, 12:23 PM   #10
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is needing to stop shopping.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,261 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

5 yr Member
13.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: pet humor

Cat Quotes


Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get 8 cats to pull a sled through the snow.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Cats aren't clean; they're just covered with cat spit!
__________________
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:56 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines