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Unread 02-08-2011, 01:49 PM   #71
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Unread 02-08-2011, 02:59 PM   #72
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Unread 02-09-2011, 09:17 AM   #73
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Unread 02-10-2011, 09:50 AM   #74
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Unread 02-11-2011, 11:41 AM   #75
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John, teaching his parrot to talk: "Repeat after me, 'I can walk.'"

Parrot: "I can walk."

John: "I can talk."

Parrot: "I can talk."

John: "I can fly."

Parrot: "That's a lie."
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Unread 02-12-2011, 12:35 AM   #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PAYNE1 View Post
One of the ways I cope with life is by always looking for the humor in it. So, since I read a lot of jokes and look for other humor, I thought maybe I could start this pet humor thread, so people could post animal jokes, pictures, videos, and even humorous stories about their own pets. I'll start, anyway! And I hope some of the rest of you will add some things, too!


A lady went into a pet shop. There was a parrot on his perch. She said, "Oh, I've always wanted a parrot. I'm going to buy him!"

The man said, "Now, lady, I can understand if you want a parrot, but I'm not sure if you want this bird. He talks all right, but he curses and talks very ugly."

She said, "That's okay. I'll straighten him out. I know I can retrain him. So, I'm going to buy him."

Sure enough, she hadn't had him too long when he ripped out all the curse words you can imagine.

She was very upset. "You are not allowed to talk that way," she told the bird. "But I'm going to give you another chance. And you say, 'Yes, ma'am' when I ask you questions. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," the parrot responded.

He did okay for a bit, but then he forgot and spouted off again, so she put him in the freezer. Sometime later, when she figured he had learned his lesson, she took him out. He had frost on his feathers, he was rigid, and his beak was blue! When he had thawed out, the owner said, "Now, don't talk like that anymore! Do you understand now?"

"Yes, ma'am," the parrot answered. "All I want to know is--what in the world did the turkey in there do?"

(I hope I didn't get off to a bad start with "animal abuse"! )
i have resued 3 dogs fomr animal abusers and they took a long time to trust me and my family but they did end up turing out to b some of the best dogs we ever owen there past now but they live on in my heart
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Unread 02-12-2011, 09:50 AM   #77
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Unread 02-13-2011, 12:58 PM   #78
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Overheard: "My neighbor's dog is taking the advanced course at obedience school. He knows how to fetch, heel, and beg--and now he's learning how to fax."

I wouldn't be the least surprised!
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Unread 02-14-2011, 09:37 AM   #79
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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

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Unread 02-15-2011, 01:45 PM   #80
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