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Old 03-28-2019, 02:38 PM #1
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Default How do you deal with ....

How do you deal with being judged because of your MI?

Iím posting this in this forum as I think it applies to everyone, with any diagnosis. In the past I havenít dealt with being judged, or feeling judged, very well. Iím trying to improve. Usually I withdraw, occasionally I lash out in return if someone lashes out at me in judgment (usually in real life although it did happen to me recently on another forum not pc.. )

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Old 03-28-2019, 03:09 PM #2
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

Sometimes people simply don't understand and need an education on the subject. Explain your diagnosis and what it entails, and you can even explain that it's hard for you to disclose that to somebody because of peoples' biases or judgments.

You might also want to be more careful about who you disclose this information to. People unfortunately can be judgmental, so it's best to reserve that information for people you're close to. I remember I had a coworker who was bipolar, and shared it with every staff member of the school we worked in. People would say things like, "she shouldn't work here because it's too much of an emotional job for someone like her", "she's not actually bipolar, she just says that so she can get more time off than the rest of us", and would avoid inviting her to staff outings and stuff. I personally thought she was hilarious and was my favorite coworker, but I think she would've saved herself a lot of grief if she reserved that information for more trustworthy people that are closer to her.

On the other hand, you might be misinterpreting what people say as judgment. Sometimes when we disclose information that's deeply personal, we automatically go into defense mode, ready to retaliate against any personal attack that might come our way after saying it, and that might cause us to misinterpret peoples' responses as attacks. I don't know the exact situation you're referring to, so I can only make assumptions. Can you give an example of a recent situation where you felt judged?

Anyway, I hope that helps a little bit
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Old 03-28-2019, 03:21 PM #3
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

Thank you so much for making this thread, Fuzzybear! I completely agree with what you and TheNightWhistle have already wisely said better than I ever could! I don't deal with judgement very well either. I completely understand what you mean! I hope things will get better soon for you. Nobody deserves to be judged because of its diagnosis! It's not fair! It's not your fault if you have one after all. I hope you'll all be able to surround yourself with the people who love you and that you love back. Sending many hugs to you, Fuzzybear, and to everyone else, including the wonderful people here on PC
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Old 03-28-2019, 11:20 PM #4
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

I have really never paid attention to judgmental things because I always have just written it off as their OPINION & that is theirs not mine.

I actually grew up around one grandfather & my dad who were very uneducatedly opinionated..
.so my personal experience with that kind of person always lacked education. I know this is not true now but it was what I grew up around so until I learned better that was what I thought. With that thinking however I never placed any value on others judgments & I would listen to opinions & discard anything that did not come through as logical (even as a kid)

As a kid I would just avoid people like that as much as possible but I was also good at calling them on it too when it came to family I had to live around.

I never dealt with MI until my situation drove me to in in my mid 40's....the judgmental crap I experienced was about other things than MI issues. Anything judgmental after that point about my mental health issues I just blew off like I had all the other judgmental crap I had encountered before then.

Glad that is over now too & the MI has been treated & the situation is resolved
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Old 03-29-2019, 12:17 AM #5
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

When I began working as a residential/clubhouse counselor, I disclosed my MI to my boss and a few of the members there. To some, it was obvious, if they saw my SH for example. If they asked me kindly, I answered honestly. If someone was being snotty about it, I would say something like, "That may be true, but why is it your business?" It depends on how I'm approached. If people choose to remain ignorant, I see it as their problem. McLean hospital has a Stop the Stigma campaign. Hopefully it will enlighten the public.
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Old 03-29-2019, 04:58 AM #6
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

Thinking more about this & kinda on a different line of thought.....

There were behaviors my EX-H had that really irritated me. I thought he was just being irritating in the same way my own dad had been. I judged their behavior against people with no problems because they were never diagnosed with what was really a mental health issue that became clear to me long after they were no longer in my life.

They both effected my life in very negative ways & it was difficult not being judgmental regarding their behaviors that effected me so badly. I honestly don't know if I would have been less intoletant/judgmental of their behaviors if I knew then what I know now. Even to this day I will keep a distance with people whose behaviors remind me of theirs no matter how nice they are. I will be friendly & interface, I am just not willing to become close friends with them.

So I am thinking that maybe some people have been hurt by peoples behaviors that our behaviors remind them of & they may be perceived as judgmental when in fact they are just setting their boundaries in an unnice way. Is our protecting ourselves from others perceived as our being judgmental toward them for whatever reason they may feel?

These questions are wonderful Fuzzy .....they really start getting my mind thinking
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Old 03-29-2019, 11:37 AM #7
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
How do you deal with being judged because of your MI?



Iím posting this in this forum as I think it applies to everyone, with any diagnosis. In the past I havenít dealt with being judged, or feeling judged, very well. Iím trying to improve. Usually I withdraw, occasionally I lash out in return if someone lashes out at me in judgment (usually in real life although it did happen to me recently on another forum not pc.. )



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I donít deal well with judgment. I just donít share anything. I just donít like how it feels when people judge me. I figure if I tell people nothing, they have nothing to work with when it comes to voicing their unwanted opinions or criticisms. Iím sure people can see each otherís issues but I just try to come here and talk things through and do the best I can IRL.
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Old 03-30-2019, 04:05 AM #8
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

I haven't had much evidence that anyone has ever considered me mentally ill. Even when I've told others that I suffer from recurrent major depression. As long as I meet basic responsibilities, I haven't felt like anyone was judging me.

When I was in a partial hospitalization program, I felt the staff were very judgemental in their attitude toward me, which was very negative.

I have a sibling who's been very judgemental. She has said, "I have plenty of things I could get depressed about, if I let myself."

I have experienced people being judgemental about my behavior when I've been depressed. When I've been in bed too much, and been weepy, I've found that people around me have acted disgusted and have said I should just pull myself together. I've been told that I'm "weak."

Mostly, the message I've gotten has been, "Get it together because there is nothing wrong with you."

I guess the only "stigma" I've ever dealt with has been being considered some kind of a fraud. That's pretty bad in its own way.

I don't go around trying to use my diagnosis as an excuse for anything. And it seems I wouldn't get far, if I did.
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Old 03-30-2019, 06:03 AM #9
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

I get upset most of the time and tell that person that they are no longer welcome to associate with me if that's the way they are going to be

sometimes I get defensive and respond with a phrase like,

oh, and what would you know about a certain diagnoses

or I'll just tell them that's who I am and they are going to have to deal with it
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Old 03-30-2019, 06:04 AM #10
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Default Re: How do you deal with ....

I honestly dont have time to give people educations.

especially when they turn to you at the end and judge
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