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Old 02-10-2019, 01:51 PM   #1
Copia
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Default Fetishes??!

(I would really appreciate if you won't judge me by this.)
Hello. I am still underage. But I started having weird experiences. Didn't know where to post it so I'm here.

I keep getting weird "Fetishes". They are not permanent. So I assumed they are not fetishes. But every time I would get that fetish, It lasts for months. And its the only thing that can arouse me. I feel very uncomfortable. It will then go away but they are horrible fetishes. Foot fetish, Bestiality.. I even thought that I was homosexual for a while.. I don't want to feel that. When those feelings are gone, I feel disgust and disappointment. What can I do?

Please don't judge/laugh. It really bothers me.

Btw I have dpdr, depression, anxiety and health anxiety. (maybe it is connected)
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Old 02-10-2019, 02:10 PM   #2
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I'm so sorry, Copia Don't worry. You won't be judged here. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to help you deal with these fetishes. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that there's nothing to be ashamed of, although I understand why you'd feel uncomfortable. Remember that we're here fo you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 02-10-2019, 02:29 PM   #3
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Default Re: Fetishes??!

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Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I'm so sorry, Copia Don't worry. You won't be judged here. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to help you deal with these fetishes. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that there's nothing to be ashamed of, although I understand why you'd feel uncomfortable. Remember that we're here fo you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
Thank you. But I think you didn't understand. Those fetishes come, dissapear and then never come back. This is not how a fetish should "behave"
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Old 02-10-2019, 04:22 PM   #4
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I can certainly understand how what you are experiencing would be disturbing. Unfortunately I don't know what to tell you as far as what you can do about this, other than to talk it all through with a counselor or therapist. Sometimes just talking these sorts of things through with someone in real life can be a great relief.

You mentioned you struggle with anxiety. And it's possible, I suppose, that it's your anxiety that is driving these temporary "fetishes". If that is the case, talking this all through in real life may go a long way toward relieving your anxiety & thus these compulsive thoughts.

Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, where the author talks about her own battle with intrusive thoughts:

A Closer Look at Intrusive Thoughts | Overcoming OCD

I think one important thing here is to (hopefully) be able to realize that everyone has disturbing thoughts of one sort or another. However thoughts are just thoughts. And the more you can just smile to them & let them go the less frightening & disturbing they're likely to become.
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Old 02-10-2019, 04:41 PM   #5
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Default Re: Fetishes??!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Copia View Post
(I would really appreciate if you won't judge me by this.)
Hello. I am still underage. But I started having weird experiences. Didn't know where to post it so I'm here.

I keep getting weird "Fetishes". They are not permanent. So I assumed they are not fetishes. But every time I would get that fetish, It lasts for months. And its the only thing that can arouse me. I feel very uncomfortable. It will then go away but they are horrible fetishes. Foot fetish, Bestiality.. I even thought that I was homosexual for a while.. I don't want to feel that. When those feelings are gone, I feel disgust and disappointment. What can I do?

Please don't judge/laugh. It really bothers me.

Btw I have dpdr, depression, anxiety and health anxiety. (maybe it is connected)
Hello Copia. Thank you for sharing your truth. I think that is an important part of moving through issues that trouble us...whatever the issues may be. I was just talking to my significant other about sex yesterday. How completely variable it is. All kinds of different thoughts and experiences and desires. Sexuality is one of the most complex (in my opinion) and often confusing aspects of the human condition and yet in so many societies there is this strange pressure to conform to only one form or expression of sexuality. That said, I understand why some of the thoughts you're having would trouble you. Though I am not judging. Why would I? You're a human with some unusual thoughts in your mind. I used to have a psychologist who when I was tough on myself would say: "Why so hard on yourself?? You didn't murder anyone!!" Then I'd laugh and feel a bit better.

Would you consider talking to a sex therapist? I had a friend who was really confused by her own sexuality and told me a sex therapist was really helping her. Honestly, until she told me about that it didn't even occur to me that some therapists specialize in sexuality. And now I feel silly for not realizing! Makes sense that some people are trained in sexual concerns and help people work them through. I realize it can be daunting to discuss these thoughts with a therapist (I've done therapy for issues not related to sex and that was still uncomfortable at times) but if you do some research on their background and experience you could find a great one!

You mentioned being a minor...would it be tricky for you to get an appointment with a therapist? I've not heard great things about school psychologists though I'm sure some must be better than others. You need not jump into specific details right away. You could just make an appointment with your local doctor and say you are growing up and want to learn more about your sexuality and you'd like to chat with an expert. I wouldn't seek a general PhD in psych because they may or may not be supportive on the sexual side of things. Whereas someone who actively chose to specialize in sexual matters is clearly going to be way more open and easier to talk to in the regard. Or I assume so anyway. Like I said, I had a female friend who really appreciated the advice of her sex therapist...even just a few sessions seemed to help her.

As someone not trained in therapy at all, to me it sounds like your brain is trying to figure out what you do and don't want for pleasure...like it's flipping through different options. Though that's just my thought as a non-professional in that area.

Try not to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Try to see this issue as a challenge or even a puzzle to work on until you find the peace and pleasure you seek. I wish you good luck!
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Old 02-10-2019, 04:54 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I can certainly understand how what you are experiencing would be disturbing. Unfortunately I don't know what to tell you as far as what you can do about this, other than to talk it all through with a counselor or therapist. Sometimes just talking these sorts of things through with someone in real life can be a great relief.

You mentioned you struggle with anxiety. And it's possible, I suppose, that it's your anxiety that is driving these temporary "fetishes". If that is the case, talking this all through in real life may go a long way toward relieving your anxiety & thus these compulsive thoughts.

Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, where the author talks about her own battle with intrusive thoughts:

A Closer Look at Intrusive Thoughts | Overcoming OCD

I think one important thing here is to (hopefully) be able to realize that everyone has disturbing thoughts of one sort or another. However thoughts are just thoughts. And the more you can just smile to them & let them go the less frightening & disturbing they're likely to become.
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Old 02-10-2019, 05:42 PM   #7
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Copia, this Ted Talk does not mention your specific concerns but it may still be of interest or even solace to you. For example, the presenter delineates research proving that a human body can exhibit signs of sexual arousal by a stimulus or person that they are not actually choosing to be aroused by. Does that make sense? She certainly explains it better than I can! And she's open and warm and non-judgmental while she discusses sexual quirks.

Please be advised that there is discussion of sexual abuse in this talk. I don't know if that would trigger anxiety for you but thought I should mention. I think if you watch it, you'll understand why I sent it to you on this thread.

Emily Nagoski: The truth about unwanted arousal | TED Talk
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