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Old 12-07-2017, 03:16 AM   #1
Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Ok - so we go to therapy because we have an issue or issues causing us to act in ways general society finds inappropriate or otherwise "odd".

We are then taught ways to view things differently and\or behave differently. After a time, generally when we start showing we behave in the same general manner as the rest of society, we are told we no longer require therapy.

So - here is my question:
Do you truly think that means our illness or disorder has "gone away" or have we simply been taught how to mask it - or is it possible that humankind simply cannot deal with people who think or act differently than others so they simply decide what the best method of thought n behavior is n try to bed everyone to that method n those who do not conform are given the label of being mentally ill or having a mental disorder?

Just a random thought but I thought interesting too ..
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Old 12-07-2017, 11:16 AM   #2
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In my own experience, therapy was about the giving of and learning of tools and resources to cope with the difficulties (I am bipolar). In both cases a plan of action was drawn up before therapy actually took place. We set targets, discussed how we would reach them, what attaining them would look like, and a suitable time frame to work within.

My illness certainly hasn't gone away. I still am ruled by anxiety and fear but at least I can function through most situations. So yes, therapy improved my condition.

At the end of the day however, I have indeed learned to mask my difficulties.
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Old 12-07-2017, 11:39 AM   #3
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The fields of psychology and psychiatry keep asking the same questions - what is normal anyway? Is the client in distress due to an inner problem, or is some situation or social dynamic understandably driving them off the deep end? Is it both? How do you effectively help people with that? All good questions.
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Old 12-07-2017, 11:55 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by justafriend306 View Post
In my own experience, therapy was about the giving of and learning of tools and resources to cope with the difficulties (I am bipolar). In both cases a plan of action was drawn up before therapy actually took place. We set targets, discussed how we would reach them, what attaining them would look like, and a suitable time frame to work within.

My illness certainly hasn't gone away. I still am ruled by anxiety and fear but at least I can function through most situations. So yes, therapy improved my condition.

At the end of the day however, I have indeed learned to mask my difficulties.
I understand that - its how most counseling is conducted and the overall feeling of any "successful" therapy. I just have to wonder if "therapy" is really a kind of "programming" for lack of better terminology - to get everyone to think N act basically the same, like you would expect drones to do .. unless they were "malfunctioning" in their "circuitry"..

Like I said though - just random thinking last night.
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Old 12-08-2017, 07:32 PM   #5
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Very good question. And probably depends on the kind of "mental illness" one has?

When I first went to therapy 55 years ago I conformed pretty well to what society expected, including skinnier females than I was at 14. So I went on a diet, but then got skinnier and skinnier and my parents got worried. They took me to an internist, who referred me to a psychiatrist, who said I had "anorexia nervosa". It used to be that the mortality rate was about 10%. So, yeah, people found that odd -- and dangerous for my physical survival.

This kind of thing was looked on as a "mental illness" back then. Still is, but increasingly what you see being offered is "behavioral health" services. Which is kind of like "why can't you behave better?" More degrading, to me, than "mental health". More focused on the society and what they want, rather than the client or patient and the problems they may be having.

In lots of cases what people are choosing to do, that other people find "odd", is not dangerous to themselves or others but simply makes other people uncomfortable. And so then they tend to judge or avoid or reject us, which makes life not so great for us.

When I started therapy, I was "overcontrolled", so therapists told me to get in touch with and express my emotions. I worked very hard at doing that -- and then the last therapist terminated me because "she didn't have the emotional resources" to continue therapy with me.

Huh?

At least I have a pretty good off/on switch and can still keep the problematic emotions largely turned off when I'm with other people. It means I'm kind of stiff and it requires a lot of energy and hypervigilance and so I don't really enjoy being with other people much, either. That's looked on as "odd", too, of course.

Guess I'm just still a little malfunctioning in my circuitry? Maybe I should stop looking down on myself about that, though? Even if society does.
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Old 12-08-2017, 07:58 PM   #6
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That's the problem - why should we need an on/off switch? Why not just be us? Yes we need laws. Like "do not kill" but - can't we react to things differently? Think differently? Behave differently? What's the deal with that? What makes it "wrong"?
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:29 PM   #7
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Hi Crypts, if you don't mind I will consider your challenges which is Borderline and Complex PTSD. I have a feeling the latter is more likely.

The purpose of your seeking therapy is to slowly figure out your personal experiences that caused you to have these issues. All you really did was you developed ways to deal with some kind of neglect/dysfunction/ and abandonment or even abuse and probably things that traumatized you too. So, a part of you did not know "how" to feel safe and you did your best to interact in ways where you felt you were safer.

You most likely have symptoms from these challenges too, and you will need to sit with a therapist where you can both slowly identify these symptoms. The goal is to help YOU better manage these symptoms and also learn how to establish better boundaries with others that can work better and to also understand you have a right to set these boundaries as well. It does take time but the goal is for you to gain new skills that can work better for you, it's not meant to change you to conform, but instead to help you learn better ways to interact in our overall human society where you feel safer and more confident in yourself. This is not even meant for you to wear a mask either, instead it's meant to help you be yourself with more confidence. Also to become more self aware so you can learn how to manage the symptoms that typically present with these challenges.
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:48 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind View Post
That's the problem - why should we need an on/off switch? Why not just be us? Yes we need laws. Like "do not kill" but - can't we react to things differently? Think differently? Behave differently? What's the deal with that? What makes it "wrong"?
Because what we do when certain response-systems are on "hurt" other people. Sometimes really physically hurt people. But let's say that's​ not an issue, what we say or do can "hurt" other people's feelings. And so they object.

I tend to think more like you, why can't people accept each other and communicate when they have a problem and people can work it out? But the drones seem to prefer if everybody just behaves the same and follows the same rules. It's kind of simpler for the drones. It was like that in the 1950's, when I learned to "behave" and be a "good girl", and lose the real me in the process. That caused problems, like the one I had. Then came the 1960's and things were "get real" but that was too much for other people and now the pendulum has swung back -- so far back that it may change again. But, for now, it looks pretty grim.
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:56 PM   #9
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Because what we do when certain response-systems are on "hurt" other people. Sometimes really physically hurt people. But let's say that's​ not an issue, what we say or do can "hurt" other people's feelings. And so they object.
This is why I say we need laws. As far as hurting people's feelings and such - that's always going to happen - unless its "on purpose" but that's abuse, which would fall under "the need for laws".

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I tend to think more like you, why can't people accept each other and communicate when they have a problem and people can work it out? But the drones seem to prefer if everybody just behaves the same and follows the same rules. It's kind of simpler for the drones. It was like that in the 1950's, when I learned to "behave" and be a "good girl", and lose the real me in the process. That caused problems, like the one I had. Then came the 1960's and things were "get real" but that was too much for other people and now the pendulum has swung back -- so far back that it may change again. But, for now, it looks pretty grim.
Exactly what I was getting at, thanks
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:58 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Hi Crypts, if you don't mind I will consider your challenges which is Borderline and Complex PTSD. I have a feeling the latter is more likely.

The purpose of your seeking therapy is to slowly figure out your personal experiences that caused you to have these issues. All you really did was you developed ways to deal with some kind of neglect/dysfunction/ and abandonment or even abuse and probably things that traumatized you too. So, a part of you did not know "how" to feel safe and you did your best to interact in ways where you felt you were safer.

You most likely have symptoms from these challenges too, and you will need to sit with a therapist where you can both slowly identify these symptoms. The goal is to help YOU better manage these symptoms and also learn how to establish better boundaries with others that can work better and to also understand you have a right to set these boundaries as well. It does take time but the goal is for you to gain new skills that can work better for you, it's not meant to change you to conform, but instead to help you learn better ways to interact in our overall human society where you feel safer and more confident in yourself. This is not even meant for you to wear a mask either, instead it's meant to help you be yourself with more confidence. Also to become more self aware so you can learn how to manage the symptoms that typically present with these challenges.
Actually I was looking for an answer in general terms not about me personally. But if you want to know all my dx I will tell you.

Psychotic depression
General Anxiety Disorder
PTSD
Borderline Personality Disorder

I understand completely the things therapists tell you the differing therapies are for. I am just looking at the overall effect. For instance, take people with bipolar. They are given medication and therapy. That is bc it is both physical n psychological. However, medications are supposedly behavior modifying too - and if you are correcting a malfunctioning part of the brain would you not in effect be correcting the malfunctioning part of the person's behavior (or the part of cognition guiding behavior)? So then - why are both needed unless it is to conform a person to a set standard, and why must we fit into a standard when we are all designed to be individuals?
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