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Unread 06-25-2017, 05:55 PM   #1
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Default Not sure I'm going to make it

I went to the ER Friday afternoon because the suicidal thoughts were so strong. I gave the meds I had to overdose on to my manager who brought me home from work and a friends husband took me to the hospital. They did not keep me. Uggghhhh. The psychiatrist at the ER said I was high functioning and it would be hard but I needed to stop Xanax and just get through until my appointment next Thursday with a day treatment program. How can these professionals decide they aren't going to help me? My counselor has told me many times if I feel suicidal go to the ER. Now, I don't know what to do? I have sat at home alone, my friends said call if I need them but they don't answer or it's hours later and they send a text asking what's up? I'm now understanding why so many people give up.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 05:59 PM   #2
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

I'm sorry you had this experience. The hospital should not have let you go as you presented with suicidal ideation. Do you think you can make it until you see somebody? You can always post here for support or pm me. Best wishes.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 08:12 PM   #3
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

Jennifer is correct. The hospital was wrong to allow you to leave. My guess is that they had no beds available at the time. Still, they should have kept you, even if you had to wait in the ER.

I hope that there is another ER you can go to or, if you have to go back to the first ER, that they will hospitalize you. Be sure to let them know that you feel you are in danger.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 10:20 PM   #4
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

I did let them know at the time I went that I had a plan, I came in because I called my counselor and she told me to go to the ER. I don't know what else to do? I did what I was supposed to do, ask for help. And nothing. I tried. I'm done
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Unread 06-25-2017, 11:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

I had a doctor at an ER basically make me feel like crap for coming in with concerns, and I left with thoughts just like you. Why ask for help, and go for help, if they are just going to make me feel guilty for it and then send me home crying... I totally understand how you are feeling. I had to remind myself that I went and I asked for help, even tho they didn't give it to me, which showed me that I didn't entirely want to do the things I had been doing or thinking of doing. I had to hold onto that small part of my brain that was still fighting, and run with it. As was said, go to a different ER if you can, if you feel that you are an immediate risk to yourself. If you think you can make it to that appointment, try.

In my experience, ER doctors don't know what they are doing at all when it comes to psych stuff, and the social workers and psychiatrists that work in the ERs are so overwhelmed and jaded by what they see most of the time, that unless someone has actually attempted, they do everything they can to send them home.

My guess is that since you had given the meds you were going to use away, they saw that even tho there was a plan, there was not access to that plan. Unfortunately, you fell into a loophole.

You are doing everything right. You gave thee meds to a safe person, you went and asked for help. You posted here. Just keep doing those things. You can do this, keep fighting.
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Unread 06-26-2017, 07:34 AM   #6
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

Thanks, I did go yesterday and get more meds and now feel like (as crazy as it sounds) better. I hadn't thought of it that way that you said, "I had to hold onto that small part of my brain that was still fighting,". Thank you
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Unread 06-28-2017, 09:10 AM   #7
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

This is horrible that this has become the state of affairs at all too many hospitals. In my city the ER wait for a psychiatric emergency is 12+hrs. The wait for a bed in the mental health ward is an additional 24-36hrs (56 is not unheard of). No wonder they are reluctant to admit psychiatric patients.
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Unread 06-28-2017, 10:05 AM   #8
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I'm glad you're feeling better now
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Unread 06-28-2017, 06:21 PM   #9
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

Keep posting and talking, if you can, kathyps33.

It helps to know you're not alone---and those of us who have read your post now hope you will be alright!!

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Unread 06-28-2017, 08:37 PM   #10
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

I did go to my group last night and through crying was able to tell them somewhat has been going on and I met with my regular counselor (Amy) today who reassured me that doing the day treatment program will help tremendously. So, I go tomorrow morning for an assessment at the day treatment program. Also, Amy told me she is not quitting on me that I will keep in touch with her at least the next month. It was helpful, the past few days have been the hardest fighting the swinging back and forth between anxiety and depression. I can't imagine right now functioning again. I really still feel like I just want to give up on life, but there is this one tiny, small part that says hold onto hope. I want to keep my back up plan-I did get more med to overdose after I gave up what I had on Friday. Right now I just feel better having it but don't feel so overwhelmed to use it. Amy told me to be honest with the people at the day treatment program and let them know this. I go at 9am tomorrow. So will keep all posted. Thank you all for all of your support and encouragement. I still feel lost, hopeless, confused but not so overwhelmed that I want to end my life right this minuet. Thanks again-k
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