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Old 07-11-2018, 05:11 AM   #1
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Default "dont look at her chest" repeats until I do, then it gets worse

Hi. I'm a 25 year old male who has been dealing with intrusive thoughts for a long time. I thought I might have OCD but never put too much thought into it. I've seen two separate psychiatrists and been prescribed three different anxiety medications, mainly for the intense panic and anxiety attacks that I get. They helped with some of the symptoms of my anxiety but never helped with the intrusive thoughts that are the major cause of my anxiety.

It usually goes like this; the moment I make eye contact with someone the intrusive thoughts start. It begins with "keep eye contact"(because I know how important that is for communication and trust) over and over until I inevitably look away then back again in a weird compulsive way. This also goes for when I talk to women(and sometimes men) but the line is "don't look at her chest" which repeats. When I inevitably do look at her chest it sends me into a shame and fear spiral with thoughts like "she thinks your creepy." As the conversation progresses my anxiety and intrusive thoughts get to the point where it's "she thinks your a rapist" which is when I usually try to end the conversation and get away from that person as soon as possible. This gets to the point where I avoid that person anyway that I can. I just don't want people to think that I'm going to hurt them and I get these intrusive thoughts all the time that people feel that way about me. Do you have any suggestions? Is this something other than OCD? Please help, I've been dealing with this for a long time. I already made the conscious decision not to kill myself, which leaves me with how to live with this ****...
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Old 07-11-2018, 02:08 PM   #2
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Smile Re: "dont look at her chest" repeats until I do, then it gets worse

Hello format: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

As to your particular concern, what I can tell you is that I struggle with some similar sorts of issues but that are related to something else. (I'll spare you the details!) Unfortunately I don't have any magic answers to offer you. (Hopefully other members, here on PC, will have some suggestions.)

What I do is to employ a technique that is referred to as "compassionate abiding". It is my go-to technique for handling anxiety, difficult emotions & memories, as well as intrusive thoughts. It is not a cure. It is, rather, a way to simply allow whatever one is experiencing to be there & to accept it with lovingkindness & compassion. Compassionate abiding is a Buddhist practice. However here is a mental-health-oriented description of it:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

And then here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of interest:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/2...sive-thoughts/

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/o...isorder/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/lib/exposur...erapy-for-ocd/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...tuck-thoughts/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...-event-1-of-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...sive-thoughts/

My best wishes to you...
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Old 07-11-2018, 03:16 PM   #3
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Default Re: "dont look at her chest" repeats until I do, then it gets worse

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Hello format: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

As to your particular concern, what I can tell you is that I struggle with some similar sorts of issues but that are related to something else. (I'll spare you the details!) Unfortunately I don't have any magic answers to offer you. (Hopefully other members, here on PC, will have some suggestions.)

What I do is to employ a technique that is referred to as "compassionate abiding". It is my go-to technique for handling anxiety, difficult emotions & memories, as well as intrusive thoughts. It is not a cure. It is, rather, a way to simply allow whatever one is experiencing to be there & to accept it with lovingkindness & compassion. Compassionate abiding is a Buddhist practice. However here is a mental-health-oriented description of it:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/
Very very interesting article thanks. I do something sort of similar in that I channel my distress into my art, music and poetry, rather than refusing to face it or trying to 'manage' it I concentrate it into imagery and symbols and put it in a form I can feel some acceptance of while also releasing and actualising the embodied feelings and gestures.
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Old 07-12-2018, 06:46 PM   #4
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Default Re: "dont look at her chest" repeats until I do, then it gets worse

In these past few days of looking at my mental health issues under the light of OCD has helped ease a lot of mental distress. Even if what I'm going through isn't O type OCD looking at these intrusive thoughts as just that, thoughts that intrude in my mental scape and are unwelcome but keep popping up(in quick succession). Shedding light on them and understanding they arent representations of who I am because if they were I wouldnt be distressed by them. I also figured out that I had a lot of "Cognitive Distortions" associated with lack of knowledge(understanding, insight) behind these intrusive thoughts. You should look into them, I think anyone could benefit from clearer thinking.

Also just finding a community of people who are experiencing the same kind of things I am, fills me with relief and comfort. So thank all of you for being just as ****ed up as me How ever bizarre that may sound.
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