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Unread 04-09-2017, 11:25 PM   #1
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Default Living in Hell (Trash)

I'm going to post several photos here of the situation I'm living in. I first want to say, I know it's shocking. It didn't come from laziness. It actually started from OCD and loss of physical strength.

I don't need anyone to tell me how horrible this is. I am living in it. Ironically, OCD caused it, and it's OCD that's keeping me from cleaning it up. There's much more to this story, and I'll post more when I'm less tired. I'm so depressed, but I'm not suicidal.

My boyfriend is partly responsible for this mess. He owns the house, and I've asked him about hiring a company that is understanding of hoarding situations (but, for the record, I don't hoard trash), but he refuses, yet keeps putting off helping me in my room. His leg is cramped, is the latest reason. I do believe him; it's not that. It's just that it's one thing after another that he puts it off.

He doesn't want to hire a company because he doesn't want the neighbors to see all the bags of trash going out. I don't care what the neighbors think. He is also against hiring a company because they would "talk amongst themselves."

I can't clean this up. My OCD is a big reason why, but also physical limitations. This is something we need help with, but he wants to do it himself. He never wants to do the work in my room, which, when completed, will give me a lot more freedom than I have now. Things have to be done in a certain order for me.

He wants to get the kitchen cleaned up enough to cook Easter dinner. I've been literally waiting for a couple of years to get my room back. He goes on trips and vacations that I can't go along, and I have to take on the home responsibilities. I am sick of it. He sometimes goes for 10 days at a time.

We have cats. And cat poop and pee almost everywhere. I love my cats, but I'm overwhelmed.

I'm going to post the pics now, and a video, if I can. EDIT: I can't upload the video.
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Unread 04-09-2017, 11:28 PM   #2
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Default Re: Living in Hell (Trash)

This isn't all the pics... It wouldn't let me post them all. Going to try to add the ones that didn't make it (and sorry for the doubled pic).
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Unread 04-09-2017, 11:31 PM   #3
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Unread 04-09-2017, 11:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: Living in Hell (Trash)

Can you get a cleaning service while he's on a trip? That's the only thing I can think of.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 12:35 AM   #5
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No. I called a place, and they said they needed the homeowner's permission. Not to mention I don't have the money. And my boyfriend would be livid when he got back. But thanks for trying.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 12:52 AM   #6
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Default Re: Living in Hell (Trash)

Situations like this are both sad, and completely unsafe. It's not only unsafe because the trash invites in who knows what, leading to numerous infestations and diseases, but it clouds the mind and prevents those living in it from obtaining a healthy state of mind. I'd call Social Services, or AS, which is adult services. Hoarding is part of OCD, where the person is compelled by obsession to keep every little thing they have or come across. This is one of the more severe cases I've seen, based on your pictures. It's very upsetting to know you live in such a state. You need more help than just a cleaning service, but rather a full blown therapeutic intervention. You need to have it ASAP for your own safety and wellbeing, not just his.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 01:11 AM   #7
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Default Re: Living in Hell (Trash)

I know. To be clear, while I admit I'm a hoarder, it's not trash I hoard. That happened at first because I'd drop something, but I couldn't pick it up because I didn't want to touch something that's been on the floor, and my boyfriend didn't pick it up, either. He comes from a home that was very messy and possibly a hoarding situation. I didn't. Things accumulated, I got fatter and more out of shape (however, I've been rafting healthier and reducing sugar in my diet), and it got to be such a pain to get to the trash container (we only had one in the beginning, which does get emptied and taken to the curb), I'd be like, what's one more bit of paper? And figuring it would eventually get picked up.

Long story short, I'm not letting this happen again, if we ever get it cleaned up. My boyfriend's office has stacks of paper and stuff in there. I didn't do that.

I feel so depressed. I want this fixed. Even my sister (who lives in another state and is dealing with serious health issues) says we need a professional to get this done. I am beyond frustrated. I don't know what to do. I can't clean it myself.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 01:17 AM   #8
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Oh! And the company I want to hire deals with hoarders, including a therapist. I've told my psychiatrist about the situation, but he doesn't have any advice for me. I'm also calling a place that specializes in OCD (and a few related disorders, like Trichotillomania and hoarding) later today. It's the middle of the night, so I can't call them right now. My doctor thinks my meds could be why I sleep up to 14 hours a day, so he wants me to call him. I think the meds are part of it, but so is depression.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 06:01 AM   #9
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Default Re: Living in Hell (Trash)

I'm sorry to see how much your situation has escalated, but rest assured nobody here will be judging you.

Your boyfriend has a lot to answer for here. He won't allow you to hire a cleaning company? Is there anyway you could borrow money yourself to get one?
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Unread 04-10-2017, 09:10 AM   #10
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Default Re: Living in Hell (Trash)

I would love to help free of charge if I could!

I've been here. Although it's a lot, when you finally clean up it gives you a good feeling.
Your mind can't heal while the house is cluttered because it makes your mind cluttered in a way. When everything is finally clean, it's a lot of relief.
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