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Old Yesterday, 09:50 AM   #1
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Default Anyone experiencing this?

Hey all, I don't prominently stay on this forum but definitely see commonalities both in self, family, and past. I'm wondering if sadism had any large part in the history or families of those here. I've experienced as much and wondering if there was a pattern to it. And for any who wouldn't mind sharing, do you suspect it passed down the line, perhaps genetic hereditary or behaviorly past done. Thank you
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Old Yesterday, 12:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Anyone experiencing this?

There is/was a dissociated part in me, and I believe there was something similar in my mother and grandmother. I never mentioned the word "sadistic" to a therapist -- afraid of the potential rejection if I did? Or maybe that part was just realistically aware of other people's reactions to it. I eventually got a diagnosis of DDNOS (now OSDD) and PDNOS, never NPD or ASPD.

I had no real control of the "sadistic" part, though when it was very "active" I could direct it back against myself (or, other parts of myself?) for the most part. I think it was passed down mostly through interpersonal dynamics, though genetics may have played a role. My grandmother's grandfather owned slaves in Alabama and moved after the Civil War to Brazil, where slaves were still legal until about the 1880's I think. He never set foot on the soil in the U.S. after he left, as I understood it, although my grandmother's mother came back as a young woman, got married and had her family in Alabama. From what little I can tell I believe she was narcissistic, my grandmother wasn't, exactly, but the descriptions I have read of the "narcissistic family" seem to fit mine, somewhat. It was a family of mostly "good people", people who tried to "do good" -- maybe for appearance sake, but whatever else was there?
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