[here today]

Although I don't have NPD I was diagnosed 8 years ago with DDNOS and have 2 "parts" which I feel are (1) narcissistic and (2) antisocial.

So I've posted here before endeavoring to understand those "parts", come to terms with and integrate them.

I may be making some progress -- as I've come to a realization that "I'm evil, my family is evil, the whole planet is evil; but not entirely".

I feel very lonely with this point of view, although it feels "real". And I have fears that I would be rejected by most people if I were to express it. Lots of reasons why -- their fears of me ("I'm evil!"), their not wanting to have anything to do with someone who comes from an evil family, etc. Or maybe they don't reject me, but want to use me for their own purposes instead, given my feelings of desperation for acceptance.

Any feedback or suggestions?

You are not evil and can be accepted. Feel free to add me as a friend. Also told my friend Steiger to comment as I think he can relate.

[Steiger]

Originally Posted by here today

Although I don't have NPD I was diagnosed 8 years ago with DDNOS and have 2 "parts" which I feel are (1) narcissistic and (2) antisocial.

So I've posted here before endeavoring to understand those "parts", come to terms with and integrate them.

I may be making some progress -- as I've come to a realization that "I'm evil, my family is evil, the whole planet is evil; but not entirely".

I feel very lonely with this point of view, although it feels "real". And I have fears that I would be rejected by most people if I were to express it. Lots of reasons why -- their fears of me ("I'm evil!"), their not wanting to have anything to do with someone who comes from an evil family, etc. Or maybe they don't reject me, but want to use me for their own purposes instead, given my feelings of desperation for acceptance.

Any feedback or suggestions?

Shut up about it! Lol Those who are evil seek to use those unsuspecting for their own gain. If you feel bad about it then don't do it. If you want to do it, shut up and do it. Don't solicitor empathy for being evil. It simply doesn't fly.

[profound_betrayal]

Originally Posted by here today

Although I don't have NPD I was diagnosed 8 years ago with DDNOS and have 2 "parts" which I feel are (1) narcissistic and (2) antisocial.

So I've posted here before endeavoring to understand those "parts", come to terms with and integrate them.

I may be making some progress -- as I've come to a realization that "I'm evil, my family is evil, the whole planet is evil; but not entirely".

I feel very lonely with this point of view, although it feels "real". And I have fears that I would be rejected by most people if I were to express it. Lots of reasons why -- their fears of me ("I'm evil!"), their not wanting to have anything to do with someone who comes from an evil family, etc. Or maybe they don't reject me, but want to use me for their own purposes instead, given my feelings of desperation for acceptance.

Any feedback or suggestions?

Well good for you trying to resolve your issues! Maybe you can talk to a professional to help you with your healing. If you believe what you do, & are honest, then this is a start

Best to ya

(If not, abuse of trust is a not smart, is it? .. again,
good luck trying to sort things out! )

[here today]

Originally Posted by Steiger

Shut up about it! Lol Those who are evil seek to use those unsuspecting for their own gain. If you feel bad about it then don't do it. If you want to do it, shut up and do it. Don't solicitor empathy for being evil. It simply doesn't fly.

Lol. I don't think I'm soliciting empathy -- though maybe my more unconscious "evil" manipulative side is and I'm not feeling it much? Takes a more consciously antisocial person to notice it, maybe!

But shutting up about it already might be a good idea!

[here today]

Originally Posted by profound_betrayal

Well good for you trying to resolve your issues! Maybe you can talk to a professional to help you with your healing. If you believe what you do, & are honest, then this is a start

Best to ya

(If not, abuse of trust is a not smart, is it? .. again,
good luck trying to sort things out! )

Thanks for the good wishes and suggestion, but years of "professional help" didn't. That's something I think is a real problem, outside myself, over which I of course have no control, of course. And not just for me but for some others. But that's a different topic.

[Steiger]

Originally Posted by here today

Lol. I don't think I'm soliciting empathy -- though maybe my more unconscious "evil" manipulative side is and I'm not feeling it much? Takes a more consciously antisocial person to notice it, maybe!

But shutting up about it already might be a good idea!

My apologies for the harsh tongue. "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law".

[Steiger]

Originally Posted by here today

Lol. I don't think I'm soliciting empathy -- though maybe my more unconscious "evil" manipulative side is and I'm not feeling it much? Takes a more consciously antisocial person to notice it, maybe!

But shutting up about it already might be a good idea!

It helps not to become too preoccupied with the word evil. The concept as a whole as it relates to good on the other hand. It's better in my view if one is trying to self reflect and integrate, to isolate behaviors that are clearly found unacceptable by others and train yourself to express those behaviors covertly. Compartmentalization is the key here. It can be learned if not intrinsically known.

[here today]

Originally Posted by Steiger

My apologies for the harsh tongue. "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law".

It's all good with me. I asked for feedback, got it, and thanks!

[profound_betrayal]

Originally Posted by here today

Thanks for the good wishes and suggestion, but years of "professional help" didn't. That's something I think is a real problem, outside myself, over which I of course have no control, of course. And not just for me but for some others. But that's a different topic.

Sorry to read about "years ..professional help" (I was hoping for some for me! ) I think you got some good feedback here. There are new studies & research re: re-wiring brain, creating new networks. Maybe you can check out more (so much easier said than done tho!!!!)

I also agree re 'dismantling' the label "evil" if you want to change that about yourself. Please keep us posted with whatever works, if you find a solution
Best