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Old 03-18-2019, 12:27 AM #1
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Default Sick and tired of the women in my life

I don't even know where to start but at least I have started. I'm multiple care-taking my mom, my wife and my older sister and for each one I feel like I would like to tell them to take a long walk off a short pier.
Came on here out of desperation, I have been bottling up too much emotion. I have issues with codependency, approval addiction and sex addiction. I got myself stuck in a situation that seems to continue to be going in a downward spiral until things get better. It even feels like God has turned his back on me (even if I feel that isn't true). I am very codependent to my wife and have to do everything she tells me to do, often the wrong thing which backfires and hard enough to say no -she tells me how to take care of my sister who has several months of recovery from a MRSA infection in the hospital, my sister who is very manic - fast talking and verbally abusive.
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Old 03-19-2019, 10:06 AM #2
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i'm happy i'm not married. sorry to hear about that multiple care-taking.
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Old 03-20-2019, 03:09 PM #3
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Default Re: Sick and tired of the women in my life

I am a codependent, people pleaser. I hate it. I cannot say no to people even if the world depended on it. I feel like other people are my responsibility even though I know they are ultimately responsible for themselves. I do not like conflict so I agree to anything to avoid conflict or someone being mad at me. I get resentful after the deed is done. I hate who I am, and the way I have been conditioned to behave.


Alot of my codependency and people pleasing habits come from my childhood abuse. Therapy seems to help, I recommend the same for you. Having a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings will help you a bit.
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Old 03-21-2019, 02:24 AM #4
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Default Re: Sick and tired of the women in my life

I was raised to be codependent by a mother who wanted her kids to be her servants. As the oldest child, I was affected most by her actions.

I suggest you try to make some time for yourself to give yourself some distance. Take some time for yourself - go see a movie, go see a friend, take a walk in nature to clear your mind. Perhaps you could seek some caretaker advice from elsewhere on this site. There is also a 12-step program called Co-Dependents Anonymous that holds meetings and posts information you might find helpful.
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Old 03-21-2019, 10:56 AM #5
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Default Re: Sick and tired of the women in my life

"I cannot say no to people even if the world depended on it. . . I do not like conflict so I agree to anything to avoid conflict or someone being mad at me."


I feel the same way sometimes. I feel like I'm a pushover, because I want to avoid conflict. So some people take advantage of me or abuse me. It's annoying.
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Old 03-22-2019, 01:33 AM #6
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Default Re: Sick and tired of the women in my life

Quote:
Originally Posted by redCanine3669 View Post
"I cannot say no to people even if the world depended on it. . . I do not like conflict so I agree to anything to avoid conflict or someone being mad at me."


I feel the same way sometimes. I feel like I'm a pushover, because I want to avoid conflict. So some people take advantage of me or abuse me. It's annoying.
Thank you redCanine, I can really appreciate that, you sound much like myself in dealing with codependency
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Old 03-22-2019, 01:39 AM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by livelife88 View Post
I am a codependent, people pleaser. I hate it. I cannot say no to people even if the world depended on it. I feel like other people are my responsibility even though I know they are ultimately responsible for themselves. I do not like conflict so I agree to anything to avoid conflict or someone being mad at me. I get resentful after the deed is done. I hate who I am, and the way I have been conditioned to behave.


Alot of my codependency and people pleasing habits come from my childhood abuse. Therapy seems to help, I recommend the same for you. Having a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings will help you a bit.
Thanks! I do attend a therapy session on Tuesday and will bring up issues of codependency and the caregiving mess. I too hate it, especially when having to deal with an older sister who I allow to push me over even though she belittles me and a pathological liar. It's real frustrating and probably will end up moving to a place and state I don't like but away from the person that makes my life a wreck right now.
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