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Old 02-16-2018, 05:43 AM   #51
emgreen
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Despite the PSA & biopsy results, it sounds like you're managing to keep grounded. I'm glad you were able to score a professor to do your surgery. I recently had shoulder surgery (small potatoes, but controversial due to its relative lack of success). Since I also had a professor preform my surgery, the results were amazing. I hope you have the same experience. Keep posting to let us know how things are moving along.
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Old 02-17-2018, 06:06 AM   #52
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Stress is really having an influence greater than what I would like.
And still, the waiting continues.
I shall I fear be a ball of jelly soon.
I don't have any male friends which make it worse.
Very lovely.
Thanks for all the support .
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Old 02-23-2018, 12:59 AM   #53
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Stress is really having an influence greater than what I would like.
And still, the waiting continues.
I shall I fear be a ball of jelly soon.
I don't have any male friends which make it worse.
Very lovely.
Thanks for all the support .
Ok got the dates.

Thought I would feel relieved but just lost
The only thing is I am a bit superstitious on numbers
I was born 1961 1st in the ninth
My kids 11/11
9/9
Now the date of my op is 4/4

Have 2 weeks to get the results of final blood

Now it seems I have to fit into everybody else plans
Lucky its Easter holidays then.
Nobody will notice any of this I can guarantee.
Everyone keeps saying its nothing
Having someone take a part of you out is a weird feeling but to take such a diseased part and leave you with a gamble of life or happiness or being that man is all elementary now.
I will be given what I deserve.
Maybe I will feel different after the latest blood come back.
The story is nearly changed .
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Old 02-26-2018, 07:27 PM   #54
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Ok got the dates.

Thought I would feel relieved but just lost
The only thing is I am a bit superstitious on numbers
I was born 1961 1st in the ninth
My kids 11/11
9/9
Now the date of my op is 4/4

Have 2 weeks to get the results of final blood

Now it seems I have to fit into everybody else plans
Lucky its Easter holidays then.
Nobody will notice any of this I can guarantee.
Everyone keeps saying its nothing
Having someone take a part of you out is a weird feeling but to take such a diseased part and leave you with a gamble of life or happiness or being that man is all elementary now.
I will be given what I deserve.
Maybe I will feel different after the latest blood come back.
The story is nearly changed .
Ok and now the final blood result has come in and the winning number is 4.5
Up .9 so if I didn't know already and what people are starting to realise now is that
I have cancer and its just going to affect them ..how???

The best indignity so far was overhearing

"So you won't be having sex then?"
Overheard my neighbour asking my wife.

The ideas and dream to get things done beforehand are over.
Did I mention I did my shoulder I as well so that needs an op as well?

And Feb hasn't finished.
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Old 03-08-2018, 02:12 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by daggy View Post
Ok and now the final blood result has come in and the winning number is 4.5
Up .9 so if I didn't know already and what people are starting to realise now is that
I have cancer and its just going to affect them ..how???

The best indignity so far was overhearing

"So you won't be having sex then?"
Overheard my neighbour asking my wife.

The ideas and dream to get things done beforehand are over.
Did I mention I did my shoulder I as well so that needs an op as well?

And Feb hasn't finished.
To say that a broken rib is a better outlook or result for the day would be a gross understatement indeed.
It seems that as March has started with such a band and doesn't look like slowing down .( i hope). the doctors thought and hoped it hadn't spread but now they are not so sure.
I am the sort of person to have a wake while I'm still here or at least an orgy.
( don't deny a person's last request)
Even if it is a pipe dream
It keeps me going instead of curling up in a ball.
It is a scary thing to go through .
To be continued . for a while yet
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:12 AM   #56
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Ok down to the last 3 weeks now and wouldn't you know it had to go and turn itself into a serious cancer . on the scale of bad things it is right up there.
The other glorious news . I have torn the tendons in my left shoulder
Nobody is really talking about both
This is where I get to walk alone .
Happy days
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:14 AM   #57
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Here's one I don't think there might be a simple answer to.
Progressing along this road of illness and the uncertainty of it all I now find myself with the early stages of becoming impudent or it feels like it not being able to perform properly in the bedroom. God it is hurting the ego . For what is a man when he can't be a man?

Sent from my GT-N7105T using Tapatalk
Sorry for typo
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Old 03-22-2018, 05:57 PM   #58
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So 2 weeks to go and so far the mental ride is over . it has all gone like I had imagined.
Nobody really cared and once again everything is about everyone else.
I have given up on support so I must fight the fears and do it by myself.

At least I have scored some good medical staff to do the job.
The only trouble is the little horror is getting worse and growing faster the closer the date rolls around.
Then on top of everything I don't get sick all year but the flu is circling .
On top of everything else or have I used that phase 'on top of everything else '
To many times?
We will see
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Old 03-26-2018, 05:35 AM   #59
daggy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daggy View Post
So 2 weeks to go and so far the mental ride is over . it has all gone like I had imagined.
Nobody really cared and once again everything is about everyone else.
I have given up on support so I must fight the fears and do it by myself.

At least I have scored some good medical staff to do the job.
The only trouble is the little horror is getting worse and growing faster the closer the date rolls around.
Then on top of everything I don't get sick all year but the flu is circling .
On top of everything else or have I used that phase 'on top of everything else '
To many times?
We will see
So last app with therapist for awhile .
Everything was find and dandy with me dodging the final question of death options if it all went wrong .
Don't fret
After I got home the 4 blank lines made sense.
It's not that I am afraid of death ( anyone that tells you they are not is lying in the end)
What the last 4 lines under options were rather the death of how life is now as to how I will handle life aftwards.
So either way I have settled that question.
More to follow
But its not long now
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Old 04-03-2018, 05:31 PM   #60
daggy
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Today , the day before surgery (if i make it.. had to give sample late yesterday to see im sick or not )
If you can think of something to go wrong ..it has
Even trying just to sit and do nothing is wrong
The psychological fight im losing as well
I am down to a world of IFs
If the car goes
If the blood comes back ok
If i get the ok
If they take it all out
Even at this late date i can only see up to there.
And still in the background all i can hear is " there is nothing to worry about everybody does it. You will be fine"

I dont think they have had to face it
Most things i have heardhave been form men with enlarged prostrates . Not cancer at such a young age.

This has been a great help

Thankyou for the replies and advice .
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