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Unread 10-08-2017, 08:35 AM   #1
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Default Feel like I might need to but don't think that I can.

Hi guys,

I've been feeling mood dropping for a long time now, basically just been getting worse since I was discharged about 6 weeks ago after a 2 month admission. The way they discharged me was horrible for one, I saw my doc that morn (Monday) and she discussed discharge on Thursday with me, I didn't think I was ready but I had to go at some point and had planned to just wing it. After that, I thought it might be a good idea to spend a night or two at home to prepare me for discharge (my doc wouldn't think of something like that, she is not a very good doctor, I even had to research and suggest the current meds I'm on). So when I went to the nurse in charge to ask if I could I was told "what? This is ridiculous", I not understanding what was wrong just on the spur said "yeah", I assumed she meant me going for 2 nights after not being out for 2 months, I was wrong. My doc had told the nurse that she had suggest discharge for me THAT day and I had refused to go!! I, of course said that didn't happen and was met with a hand in my face "don't get excited" and "would you not just go home for good instead of going for home for 2 nights. I have never felt so embarrassed, in the way or a waste of space more than I did that day. Despite everything, I walked down to my ward, packed my stuff and left. I wasn't going to stay somewhere where they treated me like that, I was bad enough. Now, ever since then my mood has been crappy. I really shouldn't have been discharged when or how I was and I knew it at the time but I felt like I had no other option. I promised I'd never set food in that fckin place again but I know I'm spinning lower and lower each day, heck it feels like every hour I get worse. I don't know what to do or what my options are. Way back for the last admission it took 4 days for my doc to let me in, my nurse and psychologist werr fighting to get me in as they saw I was a severe risk (not there at all yet, didn't even knew that level of depression existed before then and happy to never know again) and without seeing me she decided that I was fine to be maintained in the community. She's useless and I feel like I'm completely stuck with zero options.
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Unread 10-08-2017, 11:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: Feel like I might need to but don't think that I can.

That's horrible about your discharge and doctor doesn't seem that good. Maybe you could try outpatient. If you start having suicidal thoughts you should go back in. But if you feel that it's getting really bad you might want to go inpatient again, maybe find a different hospital. I'm sorry your having a hard time. I hope that helps.
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Unread 10-08-2017, 09:12 PM   #3
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Default Re: Feel like I might need to but don't think that I can.

Hiya Rincad. Thanks so much for your response. Yeah she's pretty useless but she's just not a nice person either. Since I've left, I've had a meeting with her reg and he decided I didn't need to see anyone until December again. I have outpatients with my psychologist once and week and have a group session once a week too. I personally don't find them useful. I don't know, logically hospital feels like it could be my destination eventually but I feel like it's just not an option at all after everything that's happened. I don't know. Thabks for your help xx
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Unread 10-08-2017, 10:33 PM   #4
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Default Re: Feel like I might need to but don't think that I can.

Hi Marleypop, in my opinion is that a person shouldn't become a doctor unless they want to listen to people. I'm glad I helped you. If you don't find your therapy helpful maybe you can find a different therapy technique. Part of getting better is to try new things, like new therapy and new meds. You probably already knew lew few that. The lily fan car up and chest.(I'm sorry please ignore nonsense and rhyming). I guess in the meantime you could find a new doctor. I don't know low do ko much about Irelands psychiatric system, I'm form the US, but maybe you could find an intensive outpatient. The sugar picture rain clash.
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Unread 10-09-2017, 11:07 PM   #5
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Default Re: Feel like I might need to but don't think that I can.

I don't know if this is an option but could you drive to another city or another hospital? I've only been inpatient once due to a med reaction and it was quite a terrible experience. I would never go back to that place. Thankfully I don't live in that area anymore.
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Unread 10-17-2017, 05:22 AM   #6
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Default Re: Feel like I might need to but don't think that I can.

Thabks for the replies guys, only checked this now. To be honest I didn't really expect replies so thanks so much. I can't change my doctor unfortunately cos here in Ireland you are assigned your doctor depending on where you live and I got stuck with that one. She has already been up to fitness to practise countless times as 4 of her patients (that I know of) sadly took their own lives. 1.she refused him admission and the other 4 she discharged. There was one young man that was in hospital when I was and it was clearly apparent that he was quite unwell and actively suicidal, in a meeting she said to him "I saw you laughing today, are you depressed or not?" to which he replied (this is of course 2nd hand info but I'd believe whole heartedly) "I am, can I not be depressed and laugh, I can't stop thinking that I'd be better dead" "hmmm its not common and well suicidal or not you'll be discharged Thursday" that was Monday. Thankfully he took a lot of our numbers and stayed in contact with us, we helped as well as we could and thankfully he got through the dark dark time but ffs like thats the caliber of woman I have to deal with. So no clue what to do, only know that each passing day I feel like I'm getting worse and worse and there's nothing or no one that can or will help.

Thanks again for replies
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Unread 10-17-2017, 02:46 PM   #7
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Default Re: Feel like I might need to but don't think that I can.

I am sorry you got discharged like that. But if it is the only place available and you are not safe, it sounds like the time you were there wasn't too bad, just the ending.

Maybe focusing on the help that it will provide (until that somewhat clueless Dr sends you home) would help you decide to get the help they can provide.
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