Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > >

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-06-2019, 03:10 AM   #1
Junior Member
IronButterflyWings's Avatar
IronButterflyWings has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: PA
Posts: 18
8 hugs
Trig 8 years ago today. (TW: Suicide Attempt)

"All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home. It's hard to describe what I felt like then. Picture yourself walking for days in the driving snow; you don't even know you're walking in circles. The heaviness of your legs in the drifts, your shouts disappearing into the wind. How small you can feel, and how far away home can be."

On the 6th of January 2011, I let the darkness of the world overwhelm me. To the point that I didn't want to be here anymore. So, I did the unthinkable and made the attempt to leave this world... What saved me was a short time later, it hit me what I had done. And I realized that I really didn't want to leave this world. I wanted to stay in it. So I moved quickly into my parent's room. Immediately we were rushing to the ER, and I don't remember that car ride at all. That entire experience, all of the parts that I remember, is still to this day one of the scariest times in my life.

When I became more alert and actually knew what was going on, the doctor on my case came to visit me, and the sentence he said made me realize how close I came to death. He told me if I hadn’t gotten to the ER when I did, I wouldn’t have made it…I would have died the next morning. The next few days were a blur of IVs, doctors coming and going, and constant blood draws vitals and the noises of the machines. The one thing that really sticks in my mind was watching my heart monitor going from very slow and speeding up within minutes, and then jumping back down. I felt so scared. If I hadn't gotten to the hospital when I did, I wouldn't be here now. After I was well enough physically, I was moved up to the psychiatric ward. Now that in and of itself is pretty terrifying. I still was physically recovering from my overdose so that made more work for me; since it wasn't only my mind that needed the help.

That experience truly changed my life. And the one thing that I will always remember, years later, is that it wasn't the doctors and the staff that really helped me. But the other patients, hearing their experiences, and hearing their coping skills. And realizing that I wasn't alone, that I could fight this.
I consider myself extremely lucky to have survived my attempt and to have experienced so many wonderful things since then. I hope to never sink that low again, but I have a wonderful support system. Filled with amazing friends, amazing family, a husband that I can't imagine life without; and my wonderful son. I have experienced so much in my life, and have had many adventures. And I have so much more to do and see.

To anyone that is struggling tonight, you are here for a reason. Things may be tough, but you can get through it. Talk to your friends and your family. Talk to anyone you trust. Don't give up. Giving up isn't the answer, never will be. Please take my experience and learn from it.

Always say ''I love you''. You never know when it'll be the last time. Never give up.

[Wasn't sure what thread to put this in, so if it needs moved, thank you ahead of time!]
IronButterflyWings is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:

Old 01-06-2019, 01:21 PM   #2
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: L'Etoile du Nord
Posts: 16,869 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: 8 years ago today. (TW: Suicide Attempt)

3 yr Member
12.6k hugs
PC PoohBah!
Smile Re: 8 years ago today. (TW: Suicide Attempt)

8 years ago today. (TW: Suicide Attempt)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 01-08-2019, 05:43 PM   #3
Grand Magnate
Guiness187055's Avatar
Guiness187055 Is sedated
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,498 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: 8 years ago today. (TW: Suicide Attempt)

2 yr Member
689 hugs
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: 8 years ago today. (TW: Suicide Attempt)

A great story that gives us all hope. Thank you :-)
Guiness187055 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:18 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.


HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines