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Old 09-05-2018, 05:22 PM   #1
DahveyJonez
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Default Had To Cry Today

Had to commit our son to the hospital yesterday. He's never been in such an environment before.


He felt so alone, so abandoned.


Felt so bad for him.
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Old 09-05-2018, 06:02 PM   #2
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I'm sorry. That must have been extremely hard. If it's any consolation, I've been hospitalized 3 times and all 3 times were positive and really helped me.


I hope that your son is able to get the help he needs.


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Old 09-05-2018, 10:18 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by splitimage View Post
I'm sorry. That must have been extremely hard. If it's any consolation, I've been hospitalized 3 times and all 3 times were positive and really helped me.


I hope that your son is able to get the help he needs.


splitimage

Thanks for the kind words, Splitimage. Let me ask, how did you go into your hospitalizations, that meaning what was your thinking towards going in? Were you against it or were you hopeful for a better outcome?


Our son is so abjectly negative. He doesn't want to be there. Its 'stripping me from my life'.



I just wonder if he will actually benefit from it without a sense of brokenness, that point one reaches where they've no place to go but up. He keeps holding on to his 'rightness'.
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Child-like - no one understands
Jack knife - in your sweaty hands
Some kind of innocence is measured out in years
You don't know what it's like to listen to your fears


Big man - walking in the park
Wigwam - frightened of the dark
Some kind of solitude is measured out in you
You think you know me but you haven't got a clue
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:38 AM   #4
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Sounds like your son and I were in very different places going in.



All 3 of my admissions were voluntary, although the first one was only voluntary because my psychiatrist told me I could agree to come in voluntarily, or she'd commit me.



My first admission, I was very sick. I was newly sober, deeply depressed and basically not functioning. The first week was a bit of a blur, but then I started going to groups, to pass the time at first, but then I got into them and learned a lot. I was in 8 weeks.


The second admission, was following a suicide attempt. Again I was depressed and needed safety. I was in 4 weeks.


My last hospitalization was for stabilization. I had let my meds schedule get way out of whack, and I basically wasn't functioning - barely taking care of myself. Again I was in for 4 weeks.


Hopefully your son will come to see the benefit of being in the hospital and take advantage of whatever services they offer.


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Old 09-11-2018, 12:26 PM   #5
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Update, FWIW, he's being discharged very soon. Just keeping our fingers crossed that the slight changes in medication will be beneficial.
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Child-like - no one understands
Jack knife - in your sweaty hands
Some kind of innocence is measured out in years
You don't know what it's like to listen to your fears


Big man - walking in the park
Wigwam - frightened of the dark
Some kind of solitude is measured out in you
You think you know me but you haven't got a clue
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Old 09-11-2018, 03:47 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DahveyJonez View Post
Update, FWIW, he's being discharged very soon. Just keeping our fingers crossed that the slight changes in medication will be beneficial.
I've been hospitalized twice. Both times were following major suicide attempts. So, going in, I really wasn't in any kind of shape to think about what was happening. As a result I can't comment with regard to that. However what I wanted to speak to is the question of coming out.

Following both of my hospitalizations, I was discharged to home & simply returned to the same day-to-day life I had prior to going in. The first time around, after a few days, I realized nothing had changed (except for the fact I had tried to get rid of myself & been hospitalized.) Anyway after a few days of hanging out at home, I made arrangements to attend a partial hospital program. I wouldn't say it was a great experience in terms of what I learned necessarily. But it gave me a place to go & people to be with who were experiencing similar struggles. And I think that was valuable. The second time around I just went home. It was tough for a while. But at least I had the memory of the previous experience to work from.

So I'd like to suggest you consider the possibility of having your son attend some kind of post-hospitalization day program for a while. I suppose, perhaps, your son is still in school. And I don't know how you work around that or if you can. However, at least based on my own experience, having him simply return home & go back to everything as it was prior to going in may not be the best idea. My best wishes to you all...
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Old 09-11-2018, 03:57 PM   #7
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Iím so sorry. Best wishes and best of luck to you and your son.
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Old 09-11-2018, 07:38 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I've been hospitalized twice. Both times were following major suicide attempts. So, going in, I really wasn't in any kind of shape to think about what was happening. As a result I can't comment with regard to that. However what I wanted to speak to is the question of coming out.

Following both of my hospitalizations, I was discharged to home & simply returned to the same day-to-day life I had prior to going in. The first time around, after a few days, I realized nothing had changed (except for the fact I had tried to get rid of myself & been hospitalized.) Anyway after a few days of hanging out at home, I made arrangements to attend a partial hospital program. I wouldn't say it was a great experience in terms of what I learned necessarily. But it gave me a place to go & people to be with who were experiencing similar struggles. And I think that was valuable. The second time around I just went home. It was tough for a while. But at least I had the memory of the previous experience to work from.

So I'd like to suggest you consider the possibility of having your son attend some kind of post-hospitalization day program for a while. I suppose, perhaps, your son is still in school. And I don't know how you work around that or if you can. However, at least based on my own experience, having him simply return home & go back to everything as it was prior to going in may not be the best idea. My best wishes to you all...

Skeezyks -


Quote:
I was discharged to home & simply returned to the same day-to-day life I had prior to going in. The first time around, after a few days, I realized nothing had changed
...
Quote:
I made arrangements to attend a partial hospital program. I wouldn't say it was a great experience in terms of what I learned necessarily. But it gave me a place to go & people to be with who were experiencing similar struggles.
Quote:
So I'd like to suggest you consider the possibility of having your son attend some kind of post-hospitalization day program for a while. I suppose, perhaps, your son is still in school. And I don't know how you work around that or if you can. However, at least based on my own experience, having him simply return home & go back to everything as it was prior to going in may not be the best idea
We are on the same page completely. Exactly, in fact. Thinking back over the years, I've begun to realize that our son's Opposition personality (not ODD in the classic sense, he never got into trouble at school or was destructive,etc) has been, by far, the most difficult aspect of living with him. I suppose its true that we learn to adapt to the white elephants in our lives as a survival/coping mechanism but the other side of being able to function as a family, have something resembling a marriage and trying to parent his non-spectrum sibling required a lot of picking and choosing which battles to fight - and he was ready to 'fight' each and every battle to the last man, the last shell, the last round - each and every day - an unbelievable resilience to renew afresh, any engagement that we'd thought we'd won.


So there's been a good deal of 'cross-conditioning' where we've conditioned each other to respond in certain ways and its human nature to fall back into the familiar and the dysfunctional.
It is as much us as it is him in that regard.


Quote:
I realized nothing had changed
Yeah, I can already see those thoughts going through his head. Everything from his SnapChat to the bad elements that seem to predominate the intervention program at his school are going to conspire to make very short work of any progress that may have been made over the last week. I understand that for those attempting to break from heroin addiction, for example, all that is required to bring on a relapse is the smell of the street-block where they lived. Associations are so strong.


We spent much time over his hospitalization grappling with this reality. Unfortunately, in our area, the facilities for providing appropriate partial hospitalization/Intensive Outpatient for our son, with his particular needs and age, are non-existent. He just falls between all of the cracks. The acute facility that treated him does not think him to be in need or a good candidate for their residential program - and from what we saw, we have to agree - the residents we saw there were in far more dire straights than our son - broke our hearts to see some of them.


The problem is all the other facilities are for drug rehabilitation. If not directly, there has to be at least a dual-diagnosis. It seems to be all there is! They used to talk about the military-industrial complex...yeah, well there's another cottage industry that's taken its place. Doesn't seem right, but I'll leave it at that.


Anyroad...so the acute treatment center DS was in did set up in home therapy - ABA type. The facility where the therapists are coming from looks like a top-notch professional org - so that, at least, will be there. We wouldn't have been able to find or access that resource on our own, so I do appreciate the people at the hospital doing that.


The problem with our son is, and if there is anything that threatens to capsize all of this, he doesn't really want to change. You had some pretty tough things going on in your life at the times that you went in - and I'm sure hospitalization was just the end result of bad things taking their form over years - but the thing is you - and I feel confident in saying this - you and everyone else on this forum have something that my son does not - its the ability to see how things are and how they should be - how they could be - and you took steps, maybe faltering, but you took steps to try to change - even through the fog of the troubles you were in, you had enough clarity to see that it wasn't the world's fault. Just taking the initiative to get on an online forum to seek help means there is some kind of ability to see oneself in relation to something else, which is a basic requirement for improvement.


I'm not expecting miracles or easy-outs for him or us. I know what the odds are, I'm just hoping that his resistance and stubbornness have lessened enough to at least let him have some positive therapeutic experiences - maybe it will snowball from there. The bad things sure have no problem snowballing, do they?


Skeezyks - I really appreciate your thoughtful comments. More than you know.
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