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Old 10-10-2018, 07:22 PM   #1
Evaluna
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Default Single mum struggling

I've been raising my daughter on my own since she was 3. She's now 10 and thankfully seems to be growing into a lovely young girl. I've been suffering with depression for a few years now and have always been able to stick the mask on in front of her, so she hopefully sees that things are OK. We have a wonderful, close relationship and this should be enough for me, but I'm finding things so difficult.

The pressure of having to do everything on my own is increasingly harder and harder. She's full of hormones and being on the receiving end of grunts and sulking isn't great, she talks all the time about all sorts of things and sometimes I just want to be quiet for a while. If I try and get some time alone she takes it personally and ends up in a terrible mood. We're always together, and everything is always down to me to sort out and I just cant cope any more. My friends have their own lives and I really feel like I would be burdening them with Mt **** if I told them how I felt. I feel like I don't deserve their help anyway, I should be able to manage on my own.

I don't want to feel like this but right now I can't see a way out
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Old 10-20-2018, 10:46 PM   #2
Travelinglady
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Default Re: Single mum struggling

Hi, Evaluna. Sounds like your daughter is entering pre-adolescence. Is there any way you can see a counselor for support and advice for what might be some rocky times ahead as your daughter is trying to find herself and move away from the dependence of childhood? Honestly, she needs to make that emotional break, so she won't be as close to you as in the past. Okay? She needs to be given the opportunity to make friends her age that she can also talk to. Of course, don't push her out the door emotionally. Maybe you two can set some times to talk and then some alone times (boundaries.)

And how about trying to feel your friends out about their willingness to listen instead of assuming they aren't interested and you have to tough it out on your own? Sounds like you've worked hard at being a good mother and you need to be nice to yourself. Have they been through this type of thing, too? If so, then they might want to share their frustrations!
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Old 11-09-2018, 08:37 PM   #3
healingme4me
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It's exhausting when kids become chatterboxes the moment you need space and some time to quiet the soul.
I think it's ok to develop some boundaries there. Parents are humans too with human needs. I think it's ok to say, Can you give me x-amount of time and I'll give you my undivided attention?

I use, let me finish this then I'll listen because I'm only half hearing what you are saying and that's not fair to either of us.
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