Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > >



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-20-2018, 02:22 PM   #1
InMyEyes
Member
 
InMyEyes's Avatar
InMyEyes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 25
Default 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

My ex and I share custody of our son.
My question: "is it wrong to wait until the week of his next visit to tell him his new sibling arrived there?" He's got a heart of gold and is very caring. I know would like to see his new sibling but it will not be until the next visit which is 2 wks away. I feel like withholding telling him would be better for him emotionally since he cannot be there.
InMyEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 01-21-2018, 09:35 AM   #2
healingme4me
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison Leader
Community Liaison
 
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 42,672 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

5 yr Member
6,407 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

How old is your son? Congratulations on your new arrival! And it's probably better to share. Can you text/email pictures and say that the baby cannot wait to meet him, on such and such a date?
healingme4me is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2018, 06:29 PM   #3
emgreen
Wise Elder
 
emgreen's Avatar
emgreen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9,546 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
902 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

Congratulations on the new addition! I kind of agree with healingme4me. The decision is up to you, however. I think it might also depend on the age of your son, though. Good luck!
emgreen is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2018, 12:30 PM   #4
InMyEyes
Member
 
InMyEyes's Avatar
InMyEyes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 25
Default Re: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

My son is 6. The newborn is going to be his half-sister technically as the father is not me but his mother's new husband.
InMyEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2018, 08:14 PM   #5
healingme4me
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison Leader
Community Liaison
 
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 42,672 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

5 yr Member
6,407 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

I think it's still better to tell closer to the date of birth than delayed. Even at 6. He must know there's a due date? I'm envisioning more of a feeling of being left out of the loop regardless of the fact the visitation is a couple of weeks out.
healingme4me is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2018, 05:07 AM   #6
InMyEyes
Member
 
InMyEyes's Avatar
InMyEyes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 25
Default Re: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
I think it's still better to tell closer to the date of birth than delayed. Even at 6. He must know there's a due date? I'm envisioning more of a feeling of being left out of the loop regardless of the fact the visitation is a couple of weeks out.
I had prepared the following a week or so ago. I just now saw it didnt post. At any rate, his mom ended up agreeing to wait and that i tell him as they pull up at the meeting spot; unless he asks, which he never did. Hers the paet that didnt make it before:
Thank you for the advice. Its kinda a bummer because i totally get what you are saying but then i think, "if i tell him sooner than later, he'll feel left out then as well because he will not be able to be there (at least not until the first wknd in feb)." He told me himself back at the first of the month when he came back that it could be any day now." The thing is we stay busy and are close, so he doesnt ask about anything in that regard, outside of "our" life.
InMyEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2018, 04:16 PM   #7
healingme4me
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison Leader
Community Liaison
 
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 42,672 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

5 yr Member
6,407 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

You can only do what you can on your end. It really is up to his mom to be inclusive if she so desires. Naturally, he cannot be there for the big event. But it's up to her really as to how that future is shaped.
healingme4me is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2018, 01:11 AM   #8
LikeABoomerang
Member
 
LikeABoomerang's Avatar
LikeABoomerang Every silver lining has a cloud
 
Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 352
My Mood: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

3 yr Member
20 hugs
given
Default Re: 2 homes, 2 states and ""need to know"

Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
I think it's still better to tell closer to the date of birth than delayed. Even at 6. He must know there's a due date? I'm envisioning more of a feeling of being left out of the loop regardless of the fact the visitation is a couple of weeks out.
I agree with this. He'd probably be more hurt if he wasn't told sooner. He might be bummed he couldn't see the baby right away, but he'll get over that pretty quick I'd think. He can still see pictures and maybe do video chat if possible. If you don't tell him and his feelings are hurt, that might be a little tougher to get over.
LikeABoomerang is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines