Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > Health & Other Support > Healthy Parenting



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 02-16-2017, 09:44 AM   #11
Member
 
Data's Avatar
Data has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 48
My Mood:

8 yr Member
9 hugs
given
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

The social worker is visiting in about 90 minutes. I am not looking forward to it as my wife does not get on with her and the visits seem to achieve very little apart from putting my wife in a bad mood for a day. A bad mood which then has a negative effect on the rest of us.
Data is offline   Reply With Quote

advertisement
Unread 02-16-2017, 09:53 AM   #12
Elder
 
winter4me's Avatar
winter4me has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: new england
Posts: 5,167 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

3 yr Member
1,083 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

If services/residential program/inpatient/other are really not available, it might be good for your son to experience the consequences of his behavior---in a humane way, but if need be through the criminal justice system. Fines to pay/work off. Time in a cell, with education from social worker/police on what his behavior will result in once he is no longer a "vulnerable 13yo" or if he actually harms someone. It sounds like he has learned, so far, that his aggression has few, if any, real down sides. Sorry, it might sound harsh but he clearly, if the above is accurate, may not have an adult life if this is not dealt with.
__________________
"...don't say Home
/ the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris


winter4me is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 02-16-2017, 09:54 AM   #13
Elder
 
winter4me's Avatar
winter4me has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: new england
Posts: 5,167 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

3 yr Member
1,083 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

Does he take any medication? If yes an adjustment/trials? If no, worth trying.
__________________
"...don't say Home
/ the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris


winter4me is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-16-2017, 09:55 AM   #14
Elder
 
winter4me's Avatar
winter4me has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: new england
Posts: 5,167 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

3 yr Member
1,083 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

I am concerned about any kid in trouble and their parent(s)---I worked years in psych (including adolescent/child) and corrections (where I saw certain of the same kids a few years later...)---and I always think that some things could have been prevented if dealt with early and in an ongoing way.
__________________
"...don't say Home
/ the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris


winter4me is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 02-16-2017, 01:03 PM   #15
Anonymous37954
Guest
Anonymous37954 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

But parenting IS a full time job...
  Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 02-16-2017, 01:39 PM   #16
Grand Poohbah
 
technigal's Avatar
technigal has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,535
My Mood:

3 yr Member
814 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

I have an 11 year old with ASD and ADHD. I understand where you are coming from. We are also dealing with aggression and physical lashing out at others. I see the suicide attempt as a cry for help. We have to fight and advocate for the services our kids need. I know the UK medical system somewhat as I have a bunch of friends there. And I think he needs to be on meds if he is not already.
__________________
Mags

Depression diagnosed March 1996
PTSD diagnosed January 2000
BPD diagnosed September 2013
technigal is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2017, 08:21 AM   #17
Veteran Member
 
glamslam's Avatar
glamslam has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: US
Posts: 688 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

1,657 hugs
given
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by Data View Post
My son abuses the internet. He is 13 and has Autism/ADHD.

Last night the police visited as there has been a complaint that someone on instagram has been inciting minors to engage in sexual activity, and sending other sexualised messages to children.

What makes it worse is that he set up the account in my name, with my picture.

Fortunately the policeman knows us and says he thought the messages sounded like something my son would send rather than me.

At the moment his cell/mobile phone is in my car boot/trunk along with his tablet device. Last night we had a confrontation as he would not give me the keys back.

I am closing the blinds in my office at work today and just hiding from the world. I am so upset .
I can't imagine what you're going through and I'm thinking of you. But I'm going to go out on a limb here. To help, not stress you out.

You are vulnerable to extremely serious criminal charges (still innocent until proven guilty) here with your son using your name and this activity. It doesn't matter that the police knows you. The State District Attorney's Office is the one who decides to file charges. Also, the potential civil lawsuits by victims' are ... who knows how many.

This is unofficial legal advice and I promise my intent is not to upset you. You should strongly consider NO computer access. Maybe no computer in the house.

I hope things get better. Perhaps a full assessment for personality disorders might be helpful, if that hasn't been ruled out. I hope he is able to live a happy life within the confines of the law. He's on a fast track to felony juvenile delinquency. It's not your fault.

You sound like a great parent going through many challenges. I hope my post wasn't offensive. I'm a retired attorney and this is not legal advice...consider it a layperson's opinion.
glamslam is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2017, 08:24 AM   #18
Veteran Member
 
glamslam's Avatar
glamslam has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: US
Posts: 688 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

1,657 hugs
given
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by winter4me View Post
If services/residential program/inpatient/other are really not available, it might be good for your son to experience the consequences of his behavior---in a humane way, but if need be through the criminal justice system. Fines to pay/work off. Time in a cell, with education from social worker/police on what his behavior will result in once he is no longer a "vulnerable 13yo" or if he actually harms someone. It sounds like he has learned, so far, that his aggression has few, if any, real down sides. Sorry, it might sound harsh but he clearly, if the above is accurate, may not have an adult life if this is not dealt with.
This is good advice.
glamslam is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 05-13-2017, 08:09 AM   #19
New Member
Emilia Jackson has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: North Dakota, USA
Posts: 4
My Mood:

Default Re: My son's internet abuse

Children with autism needs special care specially from their parents. They are usually attached to their parents and have a hard time expressing their feelings to others. They always need more attention and care since they behave immaturely even if they are at the right age already. Seek medical help as this will really help you in your battle with his medical condition and you really need to be patient enough with your child. Try to understand him the best that you can. For sure, this will be a serious matter already and really hard to control. You always need a support from other members of the family as well.
Emilia Jackson is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-18-2017, 03:20 PM   #20
New Member
finding myself has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 6
Default Re: My son's internet abuse

There is an amazing program I have used called "The Total Transformation Program" on the empowering parents website. It is expensive but well worth every dime. It focuses on aiding children who struggle in this way. I have used it myself with spectacular results in working with many children and parents through the years. I highly recommend it. The man who developed the program did so after going to prison and
can get inside these kids heads.

On another note. We are not talking about a vulnerable 13 year old boy. We are talking about an abuser, manipulator and future resident of the prison system. It is vital you look at your son as he is now, now who you want him to be. He will have positive traits but those are being shadowed by his lack of skills in getting his needs and wants met in a straight forward and healthy manner. The other thing he is lacking is accountability imho from the posts I am reading.

There is also an amazing book called "In Sheep's Clothing" by George K Simon that addresses manipulation in children in one chapter as well as a book called "Cleaning House: A Mother's 12 Month Experiment in Ridding Her Home of Youth Entitlement". I forget the author but it isn't hard to look up.

If I were you I would start with the Transformation Program. They also have a help line that you can call anytime to gain support from professionals in the field. I have used it often and they are great. The first month of it is free with the program but after that is a paid service. It's a start though.
finding myself is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:21 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines