Ex ignores me re: children - Forums at Psych Central


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-18-2015, 09:27 AM #1
gloamingone's Avatar
gloamingone gloamingone is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,210
gloamingone gloamingone is offline
Poohbah
gloamingone's Avatar
gloamingone has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,210

5 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Ex ignores me re: children

I have no idea what to do here and desperately need advice.

My kids' dad has been ignoring me lately. Sometimes for as much as 18 hours when he has the kids. I can't get in touch with my kids or get answers about important issues regarding them.

He claims he left his phone in the car (for five hours) or didn't notice that I called. I find this hard to believe in the cell phone age.

With all the problems involving the boys lately (one in trouble with the law, which requires close contact with his probation officer, and the other with growing mental health issues), we had been discussing the kids quite a bit.

Now I haven't heard from him since 1:30 pm yesterday, and it's 8:30 in the morning. I was supposed to disenroll our 17-year-old this morning so he could get his GED (a condition the judge set on him bc he's failing all his classes).

I have no idea what's going on. I haven't been able to talk to my nine-year-old for two days.

Please help!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
gloamingone is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-18-2015, 12:39 PM #2
Creative ToFu's Avatar
Creative ToFu Creative ToFu is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: In a Lost World
Posts: 229
Creative ToFu Creative ToFu is offline
Member
Creative ToFu's Avatar
Creative ToFu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: In a Lost World
Posts: 229

3 yr Member
21 hugs
given
Default Re: Ex ignores me re: children

Ive been a stepmom for over 20 years. Is there any way you can talk to your ex after he has the kids? This should be his time with the kids (sounds like they need it) and anything other than a true emergency seems like it could wait. Couldn't most of these issues (like dis enrolling him) been planned before his visitation? I'm not sure if talking about the kids on the phone, while he has visitation is healthy for them to hear, and it also takes away time for them to bond with him. Unless you are worried your ex is harming your kids, it seems a little intrusive to be constantly contacting him during his visitation. Does he call you every 18 hours when you have the kids? Don't you trust him that as a parent, he can handle the kids himself when they are with him?


Quote:
Originally Posted by gloamingone View Post
I have no idea what to do here and desperately need advice.

My kids' dad has been ignoring me lately. Sometimes for as much as 18 hours when he has the kids. I can't get in touch with my kids or get answers about important issues regarding them.

He claims he left his phone in the car (for five hours) or didn't notice that I called. I find this hard to believe in the cell phone age.

With all the problems involving the boys lately (one in trouble with the law, which requires close contact with his probation officer, and the other with growing mental health issues), we had been discussing the kids quite a bit.

Now I haven't heard from him since 1:30 pm yesterday, and it's 8:30 in the morning. I was supposed to disenroll our 17-year-old this morning so he could get his GED (a condition the judge set on him bc he's failing all his classes).

I have no idea what's going on. I haven't been able to talk to my nine-year-old for two days.

Please help!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Creative ToFu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-18-2015, 12:46 PM #3
gloamingone's Avatar
gloamingone gloamingone is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,210
gloamingone gloamingone is offline
Poohbah
gloamingone's Avatar
gloamingone has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,210

5 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Ex ignores me re: children

Quote:
Originally Posted by Creative ToFu View Post
Ive been a stepmom for over 20 years. Is there any way you can talk to your ex after he has the kids? This should be his time with the kids (sounds like they need it) and anything other than a true emergency seems like it could wait. Couldn't most of these issues (like dis enrolling him) been planned before his visitation? I'm not sure if talking about the kids on the phone, while he has visitation is healthy for them to hear, and it also takes away time for them to bond with him. Unless you are worried your ex is harming your kids, it seems a little intrusive to be constantly contacting him during his visitation. Does he call you every 18 hours when you have the kids? Don't you trust him that as a parent, he can handle the kids himself when they are with him?

If I wait to talk to him when I have the kids, won't that take my time away from him? We've been communicating beautifully for nine years like this, and everyone comments (teachers, counsellors, etc) that we get along so well. It's been great for the kids.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
gloamingone is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-18-2015, 01:02 PM #4
Creative ToFu's Avatar
Creative ToFu Creative ToFu is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: In a Lost World
Posts: 229
Creative ToFu Creative ToFu is offline
Member
Creative ToFu's Avatar
Creative ToFu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: In a Lost World
Posts: 229

3 yr Member
21 hugs
given
Default Re: Ex ignores me re: children

If you have been having a good relationship with him, I would just relax. The boys seems like they need this time with their father. I have found it is best to talk about the kids, when the kids aren't in the room listening. Let him be a dad while he is with them,without you interfering with your calls. Some day you are probably going to have other partners, and each side is going to need their space. It about boundaries. Set up a time for you two to talk about these issues without the kids listening. But most of all relax! Most ex's don't call their exes even for the entire weekend or a week vacation when one had the kids. Enjoy the break instead! Even married parents, need a break from parenting once in a while! Let him take on some of this! Sometime even our kids needs breaks from us.
__________________
“Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Creative ToFu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-18-2015, 01:07 PM #5
gloamingone's Avatar
gloamingone gloamingone is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,210
gloamingone gloamingone is offline
Poohbah
gloamingone's Avatar
gloamingone has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,210

5 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Ex ignores me re: children

Quote:
Originally Posted by Creative ToFu View Post
If you have been having a good relationship with him, I would just relax. The boys seems like they need this time with their father. I have found it is best to talk about the kids, when the kids aren't in the room listening. Let him be a dad while he is with them,without you interfering with your calls. Some day you are probably going to have other partners, and each side is going to need their space. It about boundaries. Set up a time for you two to talk about these issues without the kids listening. But bost of all relax! Most ex's don't call their exes even for the entire weekend or a week vacation when one had the kids. Enjoy the break instead! Even married parents, need a break from parenting once in a while! Let him take on some of this!

Wow. I'm surprised that I'm getting slammed for wanting to know when I'm supposed to take my son to his therapist appointment this afternoon and whether I'm supposed to disenroll my other son this morning as planned.

I guess I'll take all the advice and have nothing to do with my kids. I've been so sick lately I hardly get to see them, only talk to them on the phone and now I'm not even allowed to do that.

Sounds like my "interfering" to say goodnight to a child I haven't seen in a week or talked to in three days is a huge problem.

My ex and I have been the best of friends for nine years, talking every day about the kids. Guess that's a bad thing.

Last time I'll post on psych central.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
gloamingone is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-18-2015, 01:47 PM #6
Hexagram's Avatar
Hexagram Hexagram is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: The Mixed States of America, 96816
Posts: 354
Hexagram Hexagram is offline
Member
Hexagram's Avatar
Hexagram has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: The Mixed States of America, 96816
Posts: 354

3 yr Member
62 hugs
given
Default Re: Ex ignores me re: children

Quote:
Originally Posted by gloamingone View Post
Last time I'll post on psych central.
Really? I heard no slams... Creative Tofu was just trying to be helpful.
Hexagram is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:48 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.