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Old 03-25-2015, 09:49 AM   #1
joymc2
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Most of the time I feel like I'm just messing up my kids especially since I don't have any examples of how to raise healthy/happy kids because I was raised in an abusive household (verbally/emotionally abusive mother & sexually abusive/alcoholic father). My husband has the same concerns too because he was raised by a verbally abusive mother & relatively passive, non-assertive father, who is still not allowed by his mother to make any decisions. I feel for the most part we're on the same page & our kids seem to do normal preteen/teen good & bad stuff but when we do make a decision about or punishment for them, we still anxiously question if we made the right decision. In the end, I feel they'll probably just end up in therapy as adults like me because of any poor decisions I've made for them. Does anyone else feel this way too?
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Old 03-25-2015, 09:18 PM   #2
kaliope
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i was afraid i would screw up my kids for the same reason. i tried my best NOT to do anything my parents did. my kids turned out to be really great kids for some reason. one thing i felt was important was that they always had someone at home after they got home from school and we lived out in the rurals and i was poor so they didnt have much opportunity to get in much trouble. the key to discipline is logical consequences and consistency. if you want to go in depth on that, send me a PM and i would be happy to talk to you more.
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Old 03-30-2015, 01:27 AM   #3
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Ya know, I read all the books and tried all the advice. I was a hard-*** and easy going, over protective and hardly protective at all, tried to keep them from bad influences and gave them freedom, tried to be their friend and remained aloof. And one thing I learned from it all is that the books and advice were pure BS.

What I learned over the years: you do your best. You let them know that they are loved. You praise them when they do something good and correct them when they do something wrong.

It's basically a crap-shoot. You can be the best parent on the planet and your kid turns out rotten. It happens. Just love them and be the parent you wish your parents had been. And, if you are religious, prayer never hurts either.
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Old 04-02-2015, 09:46 PM   #4
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My husband and I worry about it all the time, but I think that's being a REAL parent. If your just giving in, being a "friend", finding excuses for them all the time, what are you teaching them for adulthood? This World is not easy to live on, why make our kids grow up thinking it is?

Your kids may thank you when they are older when they get in the real World.
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Old 04-08-2015, 03:23 PM   #5
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