White Knuckle Parenting - Forums at Psych Central


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-25-2015, 08:49 AM #1
joymc2's Avatar
joymc2 joymc2 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 9
joymc2 joymc2 is offline
New Member
joymc2's Avatar
joymc2 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 9

3 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Trig White Knuckle Parenting

Most of the time I feel like I'm just messing up my kids especially since I don't have any examples of how to raise healthy/happy kids because I was raised in an abusive household (verbally/emotionally abusive mother & sexually abusive/alcoholic father). My husband has the same concerns too because he was raised by a verbally abusive mother & relatively passive, non-assertive father, who is still not allowed by his mother to make any decisions. I feel for the most part we're on the same page & our kids seem to do normal preteen/teen good & bad stuff but when we do make a decision about or punishment for them, we still anxiously question if we made the right decision. In the end, I feel they'll probably just end up in therapy as adults like me because of any poor decisions I've made for them. Does anyone else feel this way too?
__________________
Bipolar II
PTSD
OCD
ASCA
CSAS
--------------------
Recovery Since Jan '13
Currently No Meds
--------------------
35yrs young
Married: DH for 15yrs
Mother: 3 (15yr old DS, 13yr old DD, 8yr old DD)
-------------------

joymc2 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-25-2015, 08:18 PM #2
kaliope's Avatar
kaliope kaliope is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: somewhere, out there
Posts: 36,240
kaliope kaliope is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
kaliope's Avatar
kaliope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: somewhere, out there
Posts: 36,240 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
10.9k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: White Knuckle Parenting

i was afraid i would screw up my kids for the same reason. i tried my best NOT to do anything my parents did. my kids turned out to be really great kids for some reason. one thing i felt was important was that they always had someone at home after they got home from school and we lived out in the rurals and i was poor so they didnt have much opportunity to get in much trouble. the key to discipline is logical consequences and consistency. if you want to go in depth on that, send me a PM and i would be happy to talk to you more.
__________________
kali's gallery http://forums.psychcentral.com/creat...s-gallery.htmlWhite Knuckle Parenting


kaliope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-30-2015, 12:27 AM #3
Bernard54's Avatar
Bernard54 Bernard54 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: By the lake in the woods.
Posts: 41
Bernard54 Bernard54 is offline
Member
Bernard54's Avatar
Bernard54 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: By the lake in the woods.
Posts: 41

3 yr Member
Default Re: White Knuckle Parenting

Ya know, I read all the books and tried all the advice. I was a hard-*** and easy going, over protective and hardly protective at all, tried to keep them from bad influences and gave them freedom, tried to be their friend and remained aloof. And one thing I learned from it all is that the books and advice were pure BS.

What I learned over the years: you do your best. You let them know that they are loved. You praise them when they do something good and correct them when they do something wrong.

It's basically a crap-shoot. You can be the best parent on the planet and your kid turns out rotten. It happens. Just love them and be the parent you wish your parents had been. And, if you are religious, prayer never hurts either.
Bernard54 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-02-2015, 08:46 PM #4
Butternut's Avatar
Butternut Butternut is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 115
Butternut Butternut is offline
Member
Butternut's Avatar
Butternut has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 115

3 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Default Re: White Knuckle Parenting

My husband and I worry about it all the time, but I think that's being a REAL parent. If your just giving in, being a "friend", finding excuses for them all the time, what are you teaching them for adulthood? This World is not easy to live on, why make our kids grow up thinking it is?

Your kids may thank you when they are older when they get in the real World.
__________________
Its always a good day when you find a new tune
Butternut is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-08-2015, 02:23 PM #5
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 79,397
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 79,397 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
51k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: White Knuckle Parenting

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:13 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please Read the full Disclaimer.