Appropriate consequence/Punishment? - Forums at Psych Central


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-06-2014, 05:20 PM #1
Heather11 Heather11 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: U.S.
Posts: 126
Heather11 Heather11 is offline
Member
Heather11 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: U.S.
Posts: 126

5 yr Member
10 hugs
given
Default Appropriate consequence/Punishment?

I have found that my teenage son went into my bedroom and took his video game system from where it's been hidden. It was taken away bc he wasn't doing homework and was behaving aggressively to me when he did have the privilege of playing. I know he''s been in my room before and in my night table, taken money, looked for whatever was taken away-phone, kindle, etc.. He's previously been in my closet looking for another game that I took away. Of course I've told him my room is off limits.
I'm questioning what is the appropriate consequence? He has Nothing to take away anymore. Has already lost privileges, electronics. He's very defiant altogether and difficult to manage.
Heather11 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-06-2014, 06:55 PM #2
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC CANDC is offline
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 11,384
CANDC CANDC is offline
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 11,384 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
1,176 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Appropriate consequence/Punishment?

Hi Heather, I am sorry you are feeling so frustrated.

I am not sure how to discipline your son, but one thing I would do (only if you own the house) is put a padlock on your door and keep the key around your neck. Maybe that is not easy and may not be appropriate, but I would put an end to him invading your space if possible.

I really feel you need a professional to help with this situation. Is there a therapist you could go to together?

What about having a meeting and finding out what he wants and what you want and then trying to find common ground. Prison does not reform a prisoner. Finding the prisoner likes training dogs or growing things gives a creative outlet to what can be very destructive if misdirected.

Maybe the analogy is too strong but the feeling is that you are punishing him not reforming him. Maybe a new strategy is needed.
__________________
Super Moderator

Community Support Team

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both...

I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Robert Frost
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 12-06-2014, 07:10 PM #3
hannabee's Avatar
hannabee hannabee is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2013
Location: TBD
Posts: 780
hannabee hannabee is offline
Grand Member
hannabee's Avatar
hannabee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2013
Location: TBD
Posts: 780

5 yr Member
439 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Appropriate consequence/Punishment?

Hi again Heather! You haven't been around for a bit, so I assume that things were going better and then, for some reason, took another wrong turn? You are almost at the end of the road with him, he will become 18 and then punishment will no longer be an option.
You want to have a life long relationship with him, right? You need to start thinking in those terms....he is almost an adult, what you want now is love, acceptance, respect and acknowledgement of the sacrifices you have made as his mother. He may never fully understand that until he is a parent himself, but try more love and less "control". It may just work better for you. Good luck and keep us posted.
hannabee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2015, 04:05 AM #4
jmc91477 jmc91477 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 5
jmc91477 jmc91477 is offline
New Member
jmc91477 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 5

3 yr Member
Default Re: Appropriate consequence/Punishment?

Like Heather, I know what I SHOULD do, but I have a difficult time FOLLOWING THROUGH with what I say. Now, they just laugh at me and say "yeah, whatever."
jmc91477 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:03 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please Read the full Disclaimer.