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Old 02-18-2019, 01:37 PM #1
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Default negative habits ruining my life

i need to get over my past and be more positive because i am living in fear all the time i cant do things for myself am very child like and never being responsible for the things , i always feel like am poor me all the time like am a victim all the time av not worked for over 20 years due to my mental health am on disability but i can change that if am more positive about things i always look on the negative side of things am a very negative person i dont even know how to change that am also lazy as well
my husband has just bought me a treadmill i need to motivate myself to do this my husband says i should follow suggestion my friends and sponsor instead of ignoring what people are saying to help me thinking i know best and i look back on my life and i have done nothing to help others or myself
Am 42 and i havent lived a without fear i never travelled anywhere i have never done stuff like bunje jump or climed a mountian done something positive
i know what i need to do is get the toughts that are negtive out my mind dont give them time if i have the victim mentallty am going remain a victim all my life
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Old 02-18-2019, 04:37 PM #2
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

I am confused as to what you are asking...
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:06 PM #3
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

I can relate to living in fear and avoiding the challenging things in life, or not being able to take responsibility sometimes...
I think the fact that you are aware of how your behavior/mentality have affected you in the past is very important and the fact that you no longer want to keep living that way is even more.
I think when someone wants to change they need to do it for themselves. Decide what things you want in your life and start working on them little by little. Easier said than done negative  habits  ruining my life I know... But I think setting specific goals that are not too big and you can achieve, could be a good beginning.
Good luck
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:02 AM #4
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

Try re-writing what you wrote using paragraphs, proper punctuation, capitalization, and, importantly, examples of your statements. Most people never climb a mountain - that example does not qualify you as a person who has not done anything positive. Use examples from day-by-day life.

Being clear to your conversation partner would make you clearer to yourself, and, would enable others to guide you and help you. You write as if you were shaking from fear during the act of writing - step back, look at your draft, polish it, and see what transformation doing so would effect. You won't climb a mountain, but you can produce a post that will reflect self-awareness.

In terms of motivating yourself to use the treadmill, read this book:

No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness: 9780814434857: Medicine & Health Science Books @ Amazon.com

I recommend this book strongly, to the point of suggesting that you not step on your treadmill until you finish reading it and doing the written exercises in it.
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Old 02-24-2019, 11:26 AM #5
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

oh ... what reason do you have to pick apart my posting ? grammar nazi ? or you just like to point out that am stupid or something thanks makes me feel great about myself
how do you know i wouldnt be upset by this i might self harm or kill myself because i feel like am stupid thanks for point out am a faliure or what is its

thanks for the book recommendation
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Old 02-24-2019, 12:13 PM #6
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

I am glad you noticed a book recommendation. I was not picking apart your grammar - your post did not make much sense, as has been pointed out before me. What I pointed out was lack of clarity overall, not grammar. I did not call you stupid, either - I said that you wrote as if shaking from fear.
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Old 02-24-2019, 01:22 PM #7
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

yes thats how i write because i am so scared of living i need drugs and i cant get them
i need blades but i cant get them i need drink but i cant get them
my life is unmanageable i fear everything i dont want to be scared all the time i dont know how to live without fear
I go to AA/ NA / CA I NEED TO SORT MY LIFE OUT but am even scared of that i live in fear 24/7 fear that i'll like myself because i think i shoulnt be loved my crime the big problem with me is i lie white lies and for some reason am going to hell for it i cant stop theses fears at all Sorry for my post before ... fear is big part of why i have never done thing am 42 and the only thing i have done is marry my husband never been out the uk too scared to go on a plane too scared to live
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Old 02-24-2019, 07:26 PM #8
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

Oh, I see!

If AA / NA etc. aren't helping, stop going - they are not evidence-based anyway (meaning that there have not been controlled studies to prove that they are helping). You should only avail yourself of treatment modalities that are actually helping and should not feel obligated to go anywhere because this is what others do.

Also, is "harm reduction" available to you in the UK? There the goal is not sobriety, but reduction of usage and harm - it is not a black-and-white approach, it is more attainable, it does not set you up for failure, so if you have not tried it, look up a harm reduction treatment center. I do not know if they are available in the UK - in continental Europe, apparently they are.

Marrying your husband was a big thing! Not something to overlook, but a significant accomplishment of yours - he seems to be a caring man.

Again, not sure if you can get it in the UK without having to wait for a long time, but have you considered therapy to not feel so overwhelming, arresting fear?

Why are you drinking and using drugs - what meaning do these activities have for you, what mental states do you achieve by substance use and what uncomfortable feelings are you trying to drown by using alcohol?
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Topamax 30 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin
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Old 02-25-2019, 01:10 AM #9
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Default Re: negative habits ruining my life

Am 4 months clean but the only reason i am is that my husband doesnt give me money when the times he has av used or drank with it
i am only new at AA/NA i have a sponsor and she is helping me
the reason i drink or use is to do with tramua i was abused at a very young age and the abuser was in my life up until last year ... i see my psych and am waiting for DBT
am on anti psychotics anti depressants and anti anxtey meds as well i have BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER OCD and depression PTSD and EDNOS
am on a lot of medication and i have to have it locked away so i cant take them all
i cant get over the abuse AA/NA does help sometimes but am needing threapy as well

my husband is my carer he with me most of the time apart from when am in AA/NA
its the past is the reason i drink and use its the trauma i trying to get help for myself i see my dr today and my psych tomorrow ..i go to AA/NA meetings everyday
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