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Unread 02-27-2017, 07:43 PM   #1
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Default How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

I really have a terrible time forcing myself to do things. Everything seems so complex and draining. But everyone else manages so I should too.

I take shortcuts, I skip what is not completely necessary, I take most chances to be lazy. On about every level.

How do you start acting less lazy when you really have no drive? I know it is possible because I have seen people who were even very ill and they managed to do things even if they had no drive or energy.

Do you think depriving myself from stuff if I don't do things would work out? Treating myself if doing things is not an option because there aren't many things I want extra.
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Unread 02-27-2017, 11:23 PM   #2
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

I think I have this same problem. It's just sort of this weird urge to not do things, right? Low energy, bad mood, or the task being legitimately unpleasant or difficult will make the problem worse, but even without those issues, trying to make yourself do stuff feels horrible. Even when you can do it, it seems to take way more willpower than it should.

Seems to be an issue with executive functioning. (It's a common problem among people with ADHD or traumatic brain injury, and I think ASD also. TBI resources call it initiation impairment; ADHD and ASD resources rarely acknowledge that it exists.)

Unfortunately, ADHD meds are the only really good help I've found, and even that is inadequate. In my search for other coping techniques, this is the best I've been able to come up with:
--The problem is less bad after I come home from work. I think it's because this is a point of transition, but I'm not transitioning to anything in particular. (I have to plan ahead to use this time effectively.)
--It's easier to do things after they become a habit or routine.
--"Cueing" -- it can be helpful to have someone or something tell you to start. (That is, something external triggers you to start, even if you already know about the task and don't need a reminder.)

This page has everything I know about the problem (not much).
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Diagnosed with: major depressive disorder (recurrent), dysthymia, social anxiety disorder, ADHD (inattentive)
Additional problems: sensory issues (hypersensitive), initiation impairment
Taking: amphetamine extended-release, sertraline
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Unread 02-28-2017, 01:02 AM   #3
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

It is okay to skip things that are not necessary but you have to work for necessary things in life. Keeping a positive mindset will help.
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Unread 02-28-2017, 11:10 AM   #4
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyllya View Post
I think I have this same problem. It's just sort of this weird urge to not do things, right? Low energy, bad mood, or the task being legitimately unpleasant or difficult will make the problem worse, but even without those issues, trying to make yourself do stuff feels horrible. Even when you can do it, it seems to take way more willpower than it should.

Seems to be an issue with executive functioning. (It's a common problem among people with ADHD or traumatic brain injury, and I think ASD also. TBI resources call it initiation impairment; ADHD and ASD resources rarely acknowledge that it exists.)

Unfortunately, ADHD meds are the only really good help I've found, and even that is inadequate.
Basically exactly! I have noticed that here ADD (which i have), they do admit executive functioning is a big thing, but more on higher levels and less on the treating patients levels but with aspergers (which I also have), they basically don't mention it. Their help was they gave us lists to fill out what to do in a day and when. I even found it hard to fill out the forms!

I feel it got worse with age too and worse after going through major depression many years ago even if that is much better it is like that made my mind weaker. When I was a kid I could find pleasure in packing a bag and look forward to going somewhere, like a sleepover or vacation. Now even packing fills me with dread almost. I feel it is so COMPLICATED. Even if I go somewhere fun I dread it too, up to the point when I am on my way and whatever transport is taking me there is off, it's not my responsibility anymore and I can start enjoying myself. That way I NEVER look forward to ANYTHING. I can enjoy myself, but the obstacles have to be gone first. After that I can piggyback on the "musts", like I must go here or there to catch the subway train or I "must" hang out with my host. So that gets easier. Like everything I do on my total own has no own energy.

I make chores worse because like the last time they were horrid and complicated. It is that expectation and this odd feeling that I "need" not to do things. Seems like you totally understand the feeling.

When I take Ritalin, things get easier, two things basically, one being I can start easier. It is not like totally easy, but sure helps! Also for some reason the med lumps what I do into one item. I'm not sure I can explain it but it is like the task suddenly has fewer parts and is less complex which is nice.

A few reasons I still feel I should overcome this is that I have extended family that have almost my exact problems, they have some physical illness like I do plus they have ASD or something like that but they were too old to get diagnosed. Still they have such a hard will. I feel like they have had issues with "laziness" but they have willed themselves to always be active and productive.
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Unread 02-28-2017, 11:26 AM   #5
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyllya View Post
In my search for other coping techniques, this is the best I've been able to come up with:
--The problem is less bad after I come home from work. I think it's because this is a point of transition, but I'm not transitioning to anything in particular. (I have to plan ahead to use this time effectively.)
--It's easier to do things after they become a habit or routine.
--"Cueing" -- it can be helpful to have someone or something tell you to start. (That is, something external triggers you to start, even if you already know about the task and don't need a reminder.)

This page has everything I know about the problem (not much).
I also have an easier time with things that come back, I think it is because I haven't yet forgotten them and no need to relearn, so the task becomes less complex. I have a really really hard time making my own routines but I try like a little at a time because if I try too much I just revert back and stop the routine. Like right now (I know it sounds like a ridiculously small task), I try to always fill up a wash of dishes in the machine and have as little "outside" dishes as possible. When I do it so much, just the putting them in is easier because I remember how to do it so I can do it more automatically.

I also have a cleaning day but I have only been able to incorporate the most important cleaning and because it is the same every time almost, it becomes easier. But when it comes to do the once in a while cleaning that is really hard like my vents are full of dust and the kitchen shelf items are like all sticky dust. IDK how to even force myself to do those.

I use external triggers for the cleaning day so that I "must" do it. It really helps.

But I have a hard time knowing how to create others for other activities. Sometimes the trigger is just time, like now I HAVE to pay bills because they need to be paid now.

I also piggyback on my friend like if she says she needs to shop or go to the pharmacy (she likes company), I borrow her energy and go with her and do my stuff. It just annoys me because it's not hard really to go to the pharmacy on my own, it doesn't even take 10 minutes walking there!

I tend to procrastinate, maybe I don't even have to say that, LOL.

People say I am stubborn and have managed many hard things, but when it comes to everyday life things I am so not stubborn!
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Unread 02-28-2017, 11:28 AM   #6
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by alicetailor View Post
It is okay to skip things that are not necessary but you have to work for necessary things in life. Keeping a positive mindset will help.
The risk is that I just do "boring" things that way. Because I don't see preparing for fun as necessary...

Also, what IS necessary? To eat quite OK? Or is it necessary to cook from scratch and cook healthily?

Is it only necessary to clean the basics, or is it necessary to deep clean once in a while?
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Unread 03-18-2017, 10:34 AM   #7
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

I make a small list. Three tasks only. Small ones. Not projects.

I do one task at a time. I can't add to the list until at least one item is complete. Max of three on the list.

Doing one load of laundry a day, making my bed, and no dishes in the sink are daily habits.

Some days I do just a little. But I maintain laundry, making my bed and no dirty dishes daily. It makes me feel better.
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Unread 03-18-2017, 10:36 AM   #8
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
The risk is that I just do "boring" things that way. Because I don't see preparing for fun as necessary...

Also, what IS necessary? To eat quite OK? Or is it necessary to cook from scratch and cook healthily?

Is it only necessary to clean the basics, or is it necessary to deep clean once in a while?
I focus on lack of visual clutter and general maintenance cleaning. I only deep clean if I'm hypomanic.

I've found just getting started helps...the motivation sometimes isn't there and I need to just get started on a task.
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Unread 03-26-2017, 07:50 AM   #9
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

Thanks -jimi-.

Without a reference point, or inclination to find myself in a negative light, I claim that I'm not lazy. I even welcome anyone seeing me as a lazy person, that's quite rude though. I'm not married.
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Unread 04-17-2017, 01:05 PM   #10
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Default Re: How to get better discipline and stop being lazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
Basically exactly! I have noticed that here ADD (which i have), they do admit executive functioning is a big thing, but more on higher levels and less on the treating patients levels but with aspergers (which I also have), they basically don't mention it. Their help was they gave us lists to fill out what to do in a day and when. I even found it hard to fill out the forms!

I feel it got worse with age too and worse after going through major depression many years ago even if that is much better it is like that made my mind weaker. When I was a kid I could find pleasure in packing a bag and look forward to going somewhere, like a sleepover or vacation. Now even packing fills me with dread almost. I feel it is so COMPLICATED. Even if I go somewhere fun I dread it too, up to the point when I am on my way and whatever transport is taking me there is off, it's not my responsibility anymore and I can start enjoying myself. That way I NEVER look forward to ANYTHING. I can enjoy myself, but the obstacles have to be gone first. After that I can piggyback on the "musts", like I must go here or there to catch the subway train or I "must" hang out with my host. So that gets easier. Like everything I do on my total own has no own energy.

I make chores worse because like the last time they were horrid and complicated. It is that expectation and this odd feeling that I "need" not to do things. Seems like you totally understand the feeling.

When I take Ritalin, things get easier, two things basically, one being I can start easier. It is not like totally easy, but sure helps! Also for some reason the med lumps what I do into one item. I'm not sure I can explain it but it is like the task suddenly has fewer parts and is less complex which is nice.

A few reasons I still feel I should overcome this is that I have extended family that have almost my exact problems, they have some physical illness like I do plus they have ASD or something like that but they were too old to get diagnosed. Still they have such a hard will. I feel like they have had issues with "laziness" but they have willed themselves to always be active and productive.
I totally understand. I have the same problem. It's very discouraging. Ritalin does help me but I'm still far from productive. You're not alone.

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