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Old 12-05-2017, 10:01 PM   #1
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Default My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

This past Saturday, I laid my good friend to rest after 5 years of friendship. When I first moved to this state, we met in college at her favorite place - the library. We lost touch for a little bit but came together in 2012. It may not seem like a lot of time together, but we were practically inseparable and soul mates. Our friendship was special to me. She and I talked every day up until a couple of days before her death. I saw her for my birthday a few weeks before that and gave a tight hug when we said goodbye.

When news broke about her death, I was shocked, numb, empty, angry, heartbroken. I bawled like a baby. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt her.

I'm glad I was brave enough to speak about her, to honor her memory and tell the world how much our friendship meant to me. Although I had to cut it short because I was crying uncontrollably, I felt ok with what I shared.

When her service finished that afternoon, it still felt surreal. I realized that she will not be here when I graduate next May from my Master's program. She won't be here for those special moments when I get married or have a child. Her absence is something I can't accept. She's not here on this earth and it makes me so furious.

Words can't express how I felt when I heard the news. She was such a caregiver and really made everyone feel so important. Maybe one day we will meet again. I hope she will continue to guide me throughout this life.

I've played a lot of chess, read books and started writing in my journal to help me cope with this tragic loss. I also start therapy tomorrow.

Have you ever lost a good friend or someone close to you? How did you cope?
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:34 PM   #2
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Default Re: My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

I'm so sorry for your loss and for your friend and her family's loss too.
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:12 AM   #3
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Default My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

I am truly sorry for your pain and for the pain of her family. I wish i could say something to ease your pain but Iím afraid I donít have that wisdom.
I have lost few close friends and loves ones.
I am still learning how to cope with these loses. The pain pf each loss is piled on top of the previous one.... so, I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope you will have the time and space to deal with the emotions as they come, instead of ignoring them. This was my mistake.
I made the mistake of escaping from the pain for a long time but it finally caught me.
The loss may feel surreal for a while and if so just live through it. You might feel numb at times and angry at things that have absolutely nothing to do with this painful loss. Please pay attention to those unrelated emotions.
The waves will come and you will learn to embrace them as you will soon understand that you have no other option.
Undealt emotions come back to hunt us like a loan shark.
Sorry for blabbing. Again, i am truly sorry that you are hurting. I wish i had efficient strategies ro share.

On another but related note: I am very curious. In the title, you indicated that the boyfriend took her life however you made no point to it during the post. Why is that? I am assuming that this brings a different level of pain, more importantly anger, to your loss.
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Old 12-06-2017, 10:27 AM   #4
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Default Re: My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain View Post
I am truly sorry for your pain and for the pain of her family. I wish i could say something to ease your pain but Iím afraid I donít have that wisdom.
I have lost few close friends and loves ones.
I am still learning how to cope with these loses. The pain pf each loss is piled on top of the previous one.... so, I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope you will have the time and space to deal with the emotions as they come, instead of ignoring them. This was my mistake.
I made the mistake of escaping from the pain for a long time but it finally caught me.
The loss may feel surreal for a while and if so just live through it. You might feel numb at times and angry at things that have absolutely nothing to do with this painful loss. Please pay attention to those unrelated emotions.
The waves will come and you will learn to embrace them as you will soon understand that you have no other option.
Undealt emotions come back to hunt us like a loan shark.
Sorry for blabbing. Again, i am truly sorry that you are hurting. I wish i had efficient strategies ro share.

On another but related note: I am very curious. In the title, you indicated that the boyfriend took her life however you made no point to it during the post. Why is that? I am assuming that this brings a different level of pain, more importantly anger, to your loss.
Hi Falldusktrain: her death was incredibly gruesome and graphic that I don't want to relive it. Thank you for your kind words.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:50 PM   #5
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Heart Re: My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

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Old 12-08-2017, 02:35 PM   #6
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Default Re: My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rukspc View Post
This past Saturday, I laid my good friend to rest after 5 years of friendship. When I first moved to this state, we met in college at her favorite place - the library. We lost touch for a little bit but came together in 2012. It may not seem like a lot of time together, but we were practically inseparable and soul mates. Our friendship was special to me. She and I talked every day up until a couple of days before her death. I saw her for my birthday a few weeks before that and gave a tight hug when we said goodbye.

When news broke about her death, I was shocked, numb, empty, angry, heartbroken. I bawled like a baby. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt her.

I'm glad I was brave enough to speak about her, to honor her memory and tell the world how much our friendship meant to me. Although I had to cut it short because I was crying uncontrollably, I felt ok with what I shared.

When her service finished that afternoon, it still felt surreal. I realized that she will not be here when I graduate next May from my Master's program. She won't be here for those special moments when I get married or have a child. Her absence is something I can't accept. She's not here on this earth and it makes me so furious.

Words can't express how I felt when I heard the news. She was such a caregiver and really made everyone feel so important. Maybe one day we will meet again. I hope she will continue to guide me throughout this life.

I've played a lot of chess, read books and started writing in my journal to help me cope with this tragic loss. I also start therapy tomorrow.

Have you ever lost a good friend or someone close to you? How did you cope?
I am sorry to hear that you have lost someone close. I lost a coworker through domestic violence. I said nothing to help her. Now I speak up whenever I see something. I seen domestic violence both way man and woman.
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Old 12-08-2017, 02:36 PM   #7
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Default Re: My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

Perhaps you have complicated grief? I have that as well.
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Old 12-26-2017, 09:36 PM   #8
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Default Re: My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.

My best friend from high school died a month before my dad. I was so preoccupied by my dad's health that I did not even know she was sick. I found out a few months after she died. The grief was horrible, that was 10 years ago. I now cherish the memories I have of her.
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