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Old 10-10-2010, 01:56 AM #11
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Default Re: dealing with suicide

Thank you for the links. Was going through pictures tonight-am still very raw. Will check them out. My heart goes out to everyone here.
love and hugs
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Old 03-12-2011, 02:27 AM #12
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Ok, so I am a survivor of suicide. In 2001, my brother suffered from depression, and had previously been hospitalised for suicide attempts. One and half months prior to his death, he'd been in ICU for a drugs overdose and had escaped without brain damage.

He took another drugs overdose, and this time he was successful. There was some evidence my Dad had tried to recsusitate him (he was a doctor). Later, at his inquest, the pathologist said it was the biggest overdose he had ever seen in his career.

My Dad didn't call anyone. Unbeknown to me he'd been fighting a case of constructive dismissal at his job and was also suffering from depression. He took an overdose of painkillers.

Some days later, when my Mother was worried because she couldn't get an answer on the phone, I opened the door to their house and found them.

If someone you love commits suicide, here are some bits of advice you might find useful.

* It's not your fault.
* That black, physical pain you feel will ease eventually.
* You may be very angry with them at times. This is normal. Don't be ashamed of it.
* Acquaintances, and sometimes even close friends will avoid you. This is because they don't know what to say, and are afraid.
* It takes time, but one day you'll wake up and it won't be your first thought. Promise.
* Just in case you missed it. It's not your fault.
* You will learn to live with it.
* If you're depressed yourself, get help.
* Be kind to yourself.

Some useful links:

http://www.uk-sobs.org.uk/
http://www.forsuicidesurvivors.com/index.html

I may add other useful bits and pieces to this thread as I think of them.

Keep well, ppl

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Old 03-04-2012, 07:57 AM #13
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Thanks for the links my cousin took his life last year and my father took his life last night. I just feel numb... Like it didn't happen... I'm just looking for someone to talk to in my time of need
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Old 03-07-2012, 04:47 AM #14
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My mum committed suicide 4 years ago and I'm still feeling lots of emotions to do with this, hurt and abandoned and lost. They are horriblle feelings to have. Part of it is still like it hasnt registered properly too.

I hear that EMDR can help you get rid of the trauma associated with this. is this true?
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Old 03-07-2012, 05:43 AM #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbell13 View Post
Thanks for the links my cousin took his life last year and my father took his life last night. I just feel numb... Like it didn't happen... I'm just looking for someone to talk to in my time of need
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Suicide is a horrible thing to have to live with. Just stay strong and talk about your feelings with people. Dont bottle them up.

Numbness is a way of coping and can be because of trauma. It doesnt mean that underneath it there wont be emotions but they will just come in time.
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Old 08-21-2012, 04:22 AM #16
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Thanks for the links... I am still struggling with the 2009 suicide of my ex. We were together for 7 years, and he was my first love. We had been broken up for a year when it happened, but we were still good friends... although I know he was still in love with me, and I feel beyond guilty. I didn't return his call the week before he hung himself, and I wish more than anything I could go back and call him. I know that one action didn't cause this, but it still weighs on me every day. I am happily married, and my husband continues to be supportive, but I wonder how long he will be willing to put up with it. I want to move on, and sometimes I think I have, but then the feelings return and overwhelm me, keeping me awake crying. I am so mad at him, and I am so mad at myself. His family blames me for his suicide, which makes it even worse, as I can't talk to them to learn more about his state of mind in the months preceding it. I don't know what to do. I have so many questions I know will never be answered, and I can't seem to shake the guilt, sadness, and anger I feel. Will it ever go away?
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Old 08-21-2012, 11:23 AM #17
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i am sorry you are going through this.

anything we can do to help you?
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Old 01-23-2013, 09:27 AM #18
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my sister killed herself in 1987, still can't get over it but i'm going to try the sites
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Old 02-02-2013, 08:38 PM #19
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My brother passed in June of 2011 less then 1 month before his 22 birthday. Like Charlie-J posted the black hole does ease up over time and I have to say Charlie-J the way you worded your list was perfect. People have mentioned these things to me but worded them differently and it made me fly over the deep end.
avlady I know I am only a little over a year out on this although I don't think we will ever "get over" losing our siblings. I think it's awesome that you are open to working through it. Please share what you learn from these sites and from your experience. Like I said I'm new at all of this and some days it's hard as I'm sure everyone here can relate to.
Thanks for reading guys.
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Old 02-03-2013, 10:43 AM #20
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Thanks you so much, i just came across this post now!!! Was it a response to another post i wrote? I definately want to help otheres with my story, but i find writing it here may get old and i've come a long way just since i joined a month ago. I feel for you also about your brother, i hope i can get in touch on chat or some other way i like your words, they've helped that someone is interested. avlady
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