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Old 03-13-2019, 06:59 AM #1
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Default Loss of a very close friend

Hey..

So about 18 months ago, I lost one of my closest friends suddenly to an aircraft accident. He was one of maybe 3 people who Iíve ever had in my life who Iíve actually felt completely comfortable with so his passing was a difficult one to say the least. As to be expected I guess, there are still days where I really struggle, but I am generally at peace with it...

Itís his birthday next weekend. I moved away from my hometown 12 months ago, but I will be visiting home on his birthday. Initially I thought that it was perfect timing as I could visit a place that brings back a very nice memory with him. But the thing is, I donít have a lot of time while Iím in town. I keep putting off catching up with my other friends, so I think maybe I should spend time with them instead of revisiting an old memory - again..

I donít know, I donít think Iím really looking for an answer. I really want to be with him on his birthday. But maybe this is a good opportunity to move forward a little bit more.

As with all of the Ďspecial occasionsí, this time of year certain flares up the sadness..

- AP
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:26 AM #2
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Default Re: Loss of a very close friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by 20oney View Post
Itís his birthday next weekend. I moved away from my hometown 12 months ago, but I will be visiting home on his birthday. Initially I thought that it was perfect timing as I could visit a place that brings back a very nice memory with him. But the thing is, I donít have a lot of time while Iím in town. I keep putting off catching up with my other friends, so I think maybe I should spend time with them instead of revisiting an old memory - again..
I am so sorry for your loss. People just can't be replaced so of course you struggle with it. In time, you will be more and more at peace with it yet, periodically, the discomfort will rear it's head unexpectantly. At least that is my experience with the loss of my mother (it's OK, I lost her decades ago).

Whenever I return home, I never do all the things (especially in regards to seeing friends) I had hoped to do. Try to be realistic but gentle on yourself. If you don't do all that you intended--that's OK. I have always found visiting the place that brings back happy memories more profound than other ways we remember people. However, do what moves you and go easy on yourself if you find yourself not ready or to busy to go through with it.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:45 PM #3
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Default Re: Loss of a very close friend

I came across this quote and I think it's a nice quote my father recently passed away and now my mother is close to passing away and I have been struggling with grief myself:

Grief never ends, but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.
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Old 03-14-2019, 12:59 AM #4
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Default Re: Loss of a very close friend

Hello AP. I am so sorry that you lost your dear friend. Perhaps you could just wait until you get back to your home town to make the decision. That day, your spirit will guide you one way or another. You'll know what to do. There is always more than one way to honor someone.

I wish you peace, solace, and a bright future.
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Old 03-14-2019, 10:38 AM #5
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Default Re: Loss of a very close friend

I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to lose dear friends.
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Old 03-16-2019, 02:36 PM #6
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Loss of a very close friend
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Old 03-16-2019, 06:41 PM #7
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Default Re: Loss of a very close friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by 20oney View Post
Hey..

So about 18 months ago, I lost one of my closest friends suddenly to an aircraft accident. He was one of maybe 3 people who Iíve ever had in my life who Iíve actually felt completely comfortable with so his passing was a difficult one to say the least. As to be expected I guess, there are still days where I really struggle, but I am generally at pIn this post she is claiming she is here because of relationship with a close friend
Quote:
Help With A Friendship
Hi Everyone. I am brand new member to this website but I join mainly because I need some serious help with a close friendship I am trying to deal with right now.

Now I will start of saying right now I am living at this place called Gateway Homes which is a place you get to learn the skills you need to live on your own. So there is this staff member name Sheena. I am super close to her actually attach to her for some reason. I look forward to seeing her everyday. Now the issue is right now I got angry with her the other night I said some things I shouldn't have said. Like I threaten her that I was going to go to her supervisor tell her that she isn't respecting me as a client. I also have this very bad habit I will call and text her nonstop everyday. I am trying to stop but it is really hard. Last weekend she threaten me saying she was at the police station and she was going to turn me for harassment if I didn't stop. Now I didn't get angry when she said that to me I just let it go. Now right now she refuse to speak to me she never wants to hear from me again. I have been crying nonstop. I have try to talk to her I did tell her look now you did it to me first I didn't get angry since I did it back to you by accident you have no place to be angry. She still refuse to speak to me. All she saids to me Trisha please just leave me alone. I just dunno what to do in this situation does anyone have good advice or ideas how I can fix this friendship make it better for both of us?
Help With A Friendshipeace with it...

Itís his birthday next weekend. I moved away from my hometown 12 months ago, but I will be visiting home on his birthday. Initially I thought that it was perfect timing as I could visit a place that brings back a very nice memory with him. But the thing is, I donít have a lot of time while Iím in town. I keep putting off catching up with my other friends, so I think maybe I should spend time with them instead of revisiting an old memory - again..

I donít know, I donít think Iím really looking for an answer. I really want to be with him on his birthday. But maybe this is a good opportunity to move forward a little bit more.

As with all of the Ďspecial occasionsí, this time of year certain flares up the sadness..

- AP
Maybe it is not an either or. Maybe you can do a memorial at the cemetary or at a special place. And still have time for friends.

Maybe it is not important where you do the memorial. It could be right where you are. I think those we are close to feel our concern and caring. What better way to express thanks for that relationship than to express gratitude for what you shared together.
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Old 03-25-2019, 12:12 PM #8
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Heart Re: Loss of a very close friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by 20oney View Post
Hey..

So about 18 months ago, I lost one of my closest friends suddenly to an aircraft accident. He was one of maybe 3 people who Iíve ever had in my life who Iíve actually felt completely comfortable with so his passing was a difficult one to say the least. As to be expected I guess, there are still days where I really struggle, but I am generally at peace with it...

Itís his birthday next weekend. I moved away from my hometown 12 months ago, but I will be visiting home on his birthday. Initially I thought that it was perfect timing as I could visit a place that brings back a very nice memory with him. But the thing is, I donít have a lot of time while Iím in town. I keep putting off catching up with my other friends, so I think maybe I should spend time with them instead of revisiting an old memory - again..

I donít know, I donít think Iím really looking for an answer. I really want to be with him on his birthday. But maybe this is a good opportunity to move forward a little bit more.

As with all of the Ďspecial occasionsí, this time of year certain flares up the sadness..

- AP

I lost a good friend suddenly 3 years ago, almost. And they didn't even know from WHAT. He just suddenly collapsed and never woke up. Due to religious reasons, no autopsy was done.

He was one of VERY few people I could say anything to, without judgement at all. Anniversary of his death and his birthday are the hardest.

I got to meet his parents by chance, at his grave. So now I have someone to share that loss with, even if it's obviously not the same relationship. I mean, I get some solace from that.

I do eat cake on his birthday, and I've visited his grave when I can. I even raised h e l l over the condition of it once, as there was all this mud on it when the others around it were in better condition. I said it looks like nobody is even buried there!

I don't tell people what to do, as I hate it when people do it to me. I follow my gut or heart, doing what I FEEL I want to do. After going to a couple of grief groups, I remember what I heard in them: There is no "right" way or "supposed" to, no time table, no linear process. It's okay NOT to cry, not to feel or to even not know what one feels.


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Loss of a very close friend

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