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Old 07-09-2018, 12:29 PM   #41
CANDC
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Default Re: Death- expected vs. unexpected

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Originally Posted by Trace14 View Post
What do you mean by following your parents foot steps?
I saw my parents work for 40 years, then retire and enjoy life for 20 years, and now one died and the other wants to die.

Following in their footsteps means I did my own work stint, am retired and at some point will approach death. We are all in the similar patterns of from birth to death. It is unavoidable.
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Old 08-28-2018, 01:49 PM   #42
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Default Re: Death- expected vs. unexpected

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My Dad died unexpectedly and I think thatís worse. We had a good relationship and I got to see him the week before and I always told him I loved him, so I am very thankful for that. He forgot his cane one morning when he went to the bathroom. When he came out, he fell and hit his head so hard that he only lived until that night.
My Mom now walks with a walker, but is constantly forgetting to use it, so now Iím scared that Iíll find her on the floor when I go over there one day!
Iím dealing with the issue of anxiety about anything being taken away in the blink of an eye. Iím depressed, donít want to go out and am very anxious about loss. Besides going to work, I just want to sleep all day and stay home with my dogs. I canít seem to break out of this funk.


Thank you so much for your post! My father from originally from Michigan, fell, hitting his head fracturing his skull. He "lived" in the hospital for 11 days before he passed. My mother is disabled, he was her primary care giver.
I am always looking for signs, and I believe this is one. We will be ok, we will make it! I know that is true, but feeling it is going to take work!
Death- expected vs. unexpected
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Old 08-28-2018, 02:03 PM   #43
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Default Re: Death- expected vs. unexpected

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Originally Posted by CANDC View Post
when we expect someone to die we can start grieving with Anticipatory Grief.

Unexpected can blindside us and be more of a shock

For me this is very true. My sister has had terminal cancer for over 18 months now; her original diagnosis had her passing already. She is a little roadrunner, always busy and smiling!
My father died unexpectedly due to a fall recently. I am angry that I didn't get to prepare for this, but I understand. I spent as much time as possible with him talking to him the 11 days before he died. I felt as if it was quality time.














I am angry, hurt, depressed etc. And who knows how I will feel after my sister passes; only time will tell.
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