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Old 10-06-2018, 10:08 AM   #1
KissTheRain
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Share your favorite puns. The cheesier, the better!

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally
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Old 10-06-2018, 12:26 PM   #2
Mountaindewed
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If you talk to someone while they are doing a puzzle they are going to have some crosswords for you.
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Would the parents of a soggy boy with cotton candy in his nose please come to the medical tent!

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Old 10-07-2018, 08:10 AM   #3
raging vortex
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the other day I was in a record shop.

a sign read on the door: for this week only, all cds by luchiano pavirotti are a tenner (a tenner being 10 pound in england)

their's been an item on the news about a woman who was found in a forest, face down in a puddle of milk surrounded by a spoon and a bowl

police say they are on the hunt for a cerial killer

past, present and future, all walk in to a bar.

it was tense

2 peanuts walk in to a bar

one was asaulted

I submitted 10 puns to a compitition to try and win a holiday to hawaii. I thought at least one of them would win

no pun in 10 did
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Old 10-07-2018, 08:14 AM   #4
raging vortex
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the other day I saw someone on the sidewalk crying. from a distance it looked like he was dressed up as one of snow white's 7 dwars

I walked up to him and he said i'm not happy.

I replied okay, which one are you then
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Old 10-08-2018, 05:17 AM   #5
raging vortex
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a man saw a sign in a cafe that readd, giant red lobster tails- just £1

so he goes in to the cafe to ask the waitress if it's true

the waitress tells him that it is true, and they are not old lobster tails either, they are new

so the guy pays the money and the waitress leads him to a seat

she sits down next to him and starts...

once apon a time, their was a big red lobster...
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Old 10-08-2018, 10:07 PM   #6
Arbie
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Puns, puns and more puns
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Please be warned that parts of it can be triggering if you are sensitive to descriptions of abuse. I'm not using anybody's real names, including my own.
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Old 10-10-2018, 05:02 AM   #7
raging vortex
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2 antennas had a wedding on the roof

naturally, the company wasn't that great

but the reception was exilent
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Old 10-11-2018, 07:44 AM   #8
raging vortex
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today I quit my job at the orange juice factory

my son asked me, why did you quit, mom?

I replied

well, I just couldn't consontrate
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Old 10-11-2018, 07:46 AM   #9
raging vortex
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mickey mouse was in court trying to get a divorce from minie mouse

judge: so mickey, you said that minie mouse doesn't respect you and your feelings?

mickey: I never said that. I just said she was a little goofy
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Old 10-11-2018, 07:48 AM   #10
raging vortex
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I tried to make up a joke about a pencil

in the end I just gave up

the idea was pointless
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