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Unread 09-13-2017, 08:22 AM   #1
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Default Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

Ever wish you could just immediately delete a text you regretted sending, or maybe a Facebook message you wanted to erase and take back? WHY oh WHY isn't there a delete button for these things?!? I can't tell you how many times I've sent a text I regretted sending. I suppose this doesn't fall under a mental health category, but I am frustrated by this and have sent more texts than I care to remember that I've regretted.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 08:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

I agree it would be nice. I've had my share of those as well.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 09:52 AM   #3
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

I think at the same time it's a problem in how we (perhaps the society) treat instant messaging. It's at a weird intersection between face-to-face conversation and serious textual discourse, so to say. So you're kind of supposed to be all friendly and casual and drop the first thing that comes to mind, but you can also get hanged for careless phrasing. So for the first case you shouldn't need a delete button, because everyone, including you should understand that you aren't writing a formal essay and mistakes are going to happen... On the other hand, it just stays there and it's possible to go over it verbatim and analyse your "subconscious" or whatever.

Also, what you say aloud essentially gets "deleted" a few seconds later, as it starts disappearing from memory, but IMs generally don't. I guess they do in certain chats.

So I would say we haven't really figured out online communication yet, and probably not any time soon.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 02:28 PM   #4
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

I have done this too. It's an impulsivity thing with me, and so I do consider that mental health / behavioral related! I do my best to pause now, or walk away before writing to someone. I'm not perfect, but it helps.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 02:57 PM   #5
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

I just send a second message/ text saying something like please ignore the last message i sent. I was just having a bad day and it came out on you, so sorry. I usually get a reply back with lmao I have had those days too.

maybe you can do something like that.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 04:45 PM   #6
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

Quote:
Originally Posted by starrysky View Post
I have done this too. It's an impulsivity thing with me, and so I do consider that mental health / behavioral related! I do my best to pause now, or walk away before writing to someone. I'm not perfect, but it helps.
Same with me! I try to pause too, but it doesn't always work. DELETE DELETE DELETE. LOL.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 07:41 PM   #7
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

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Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
Same with me! I try to pause too, but it doesn't always work. DELETE DELETE DELETE. LOL.
It is HARD! I think its a skill that can be acquired though. I struggled with this badly for a few years, up until last year. Things that helped me, in case you might want to know: mindfulness, Buddhism, effort on my part (I had really made some mistakes in what I said online and in text that I regretted, so it was important to me), and talking to a therapist. I think journaling helped too. Like writing letters I won't send. I'm still not perfect at it. I told a guy off via text last May. Im a work in progress.

That being said, sometimes, I go from one extreme to the other. So now I'm more passive and like, don't always speak up when someone hurts me. I want to be more assertive. .

But anyway, I just wanted to say, I know what it's like and encourage somehow. Maybe also, don't be so hard on yourself.
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Unread 09-14-2017, 05:59 AM   #8
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
I just send a second message/ text saying something like please ignore the last message i sent. I was just having a bad day and it came out on you, so sorry. I usually get a reply back with lmao I have had those days too.

maybe you can do something like that.
Great suggestion!
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Unread 09-14-2017, 06:03 AM   #9
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

Quote:
Originally Posted by starrysky View Post
It is HARD! I think its a skill that can be acquired though. I struggled with this badly for a few years, up until last year. Things that helped me, in case you might want to know: mindfulness, Buddhism, effort on my part (I had really made some mistakes in what I said online and in text that I regretted, so it was important to me), and talking to a therapist. I think journaling helped too. Like writing letters I won't send. I'm still not perfect at it. I told a guy off via text last May. Im a work in progress.

That being said, sometimes, I go from one extreme to the other. So now I'm more passive and like, don't always speak up when someone hurts me. I want to be more assertive. .

But anyway, I just wanted to say, I know what it's like and encourage somehow. Maybe also, don't be so hard on yourself.
Starry, thank you. I am glad I am not the only one who has told a guy off via text, lol. I think my weakness is after a couple drinks, I get loosy goosey and say whatever comes to mind. When I re-read it the next day, I'm like DOH! WHY did I say that? lol. Don't drink and text, LOL.
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Unread 09-16-2017, 11:57 AM   #10
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Default Re: Why isn't there a text or FB message delete button?

you CAN edit or delete both Facebook posts and Messenger messages.
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