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#1 |
Elder
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My mom doesn’t want to admit that my brother has a problem. And it’s frustrating. He’s morbidly obese and he hasn’t seen a general physician since he was a teenager. He’s almost 30. My mom has no idea what he weighs yet we have an expensive working scale. My dad died of complications of diabetes. I’m pretty sure my brother has diabetes or is at least prediabetes. I don’t get why she won’t take him to the doctor for a yearly check up that will be 100% paid for by insurance. He sees a therapist and a psychiatrist because he has autism and has OCD. Both are quacks. My mom realizes this but doesn’t want to do anything about it. He slurs his speech and has difficulty speaking. Almost like MS or Parkinson’s or something. I tell her to take him to the doctor to rule out anything physical. Since I have always thought that is what you do first. Her answer is “well, I took him to a neurologist before.” Yeah. You took him when he was 10 and under. What good will that do him now? He had really bad epilepsy when he was a little. Could it be returning?
Every time I mention any of this to her she completely blows up at me. She is so over protective of him but doesn’t want to do anything for some reason. Does anyone know why she wouldn’t want to? Is she in denial or something?
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You ride em up, and up, and up, then you gently float down. Would the parents of a soggy boy with cotton candy in his nose please come to the medical tent! Rupaul: You can call me he, you can call me she. You can call me Regis and Kathy Lee. I don’t care, as long as you call me. |
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#2 |
Magnate
2daffodils
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You seem to have a bit of an attitude towards doctors, imho. Just my observation. "quacks?", yet you are upset with your mother about your brother. That is her child, not yours. If she sent him to a neurologist, I think that was the best she could do. I think it's fine you suggested it once, but it is not your responsibility to go further, I'm not trying to upset you, but possibly you should release yourself from this burden you feel to try to help your brother? Also, being overweight is not what causes type 2 diabetes. It's fluctuating the amount of food, from too little at a meal to too much at another. Best wishes.
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#3 |
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MickeyCheeky
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#4 | |
Elder
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You ride em up, and up, and up, then you gently float down. Would the parents of a soggy boy with cotton candy in his nose please come to the medical tent! Rupaul: You can call me he, you can call me she. You can call me Regis and Kathy Lee. I don’t care, as long as you call me. |
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#5 |
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky
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#6 |
Poohbah
WishfulThinker66
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It seems you are transferring your own negative experience with a doctor(s) onto them all. You have said your brother sees professional help for other reasons. These doctors may be treating these issues as the ones needing primary attention. Besides, you don't go to his sessions so how are you so sure to know that his weight and possible health issues have not been discussed and broached? A psychiatrist is still a medical doctor. If he is concerned he would have referred your brother to seek medical attention. Incidentally, is your brother on medication. Most psychiatric medications require regular blood tests. His psychiatrist would order a round of them with a broader scope including those that would indicate further testing was required for diabetes. No, I trust he is in good hands.
As for your mother, it does sound like there might be a co-dependent relationship. But that is theirs and not yours to solve. You have spoken apparently repeatedly to your mom. Leave it at that. What you might be able to do is to encourage her to get help as a support person - like attending a support for caregivers of the mentally ill. |
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#7 |
Poohbah
Deejay14
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Have you offered to be of help and take the responsibility to get him to the doctor. I think th s t is what I would do.
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True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
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