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#1 |
Grand Magnate
Só leigheas
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I need some help. I need something.
The majority of every day I have images in my head. They're usually violent and play out really screwed up. I don't want any of this. I get urges to follow through when it comes to the SH related ones, but every time I give in it's never how it is in my head and therefore not right. Which leads me to needing to do more. The other stuff is violence towards others, like killing my mom, and I don't want to do it. I really don't want to. My pdoc says I don't have to follow through on these thoughts, but they're not just thoughts. Thoughts leave, these don't, they just get worse. I have a voice in my head telling me how to do it and he won't shut up. I've been told that this is an outcome of my PTSD and nothing else. How the **** that is, I don't know. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this? Mindfulness only helps me so much.
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#2 |
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky
My echo is the only voice coming back
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#3 | |
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Does your Psych doc know all of this (I know many of them only take 5-15 minutes with their patients)? Are you taking all your medications as directed? This sounds awful. I am sorry you are dealing with this. ![]() |
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#4 |
Grand Magnate
Só leigheas
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I don't think my pdoc knows the severity of it. He just keeps telling me, "Mindfulness." And I tell him I've done that and continue to try it but I can't do it 100% of a day. It's gotten to the point where I have almost no break from it. I'm taking all of my meds like I should, I've made sure of it, but now I'm wondering what the point is with all of this happening.
I'll tell myself it isn't real but I'm afraid it'll get even worse. I promise I'll go to my pdoc immediately if I can't tell the difference anymore.
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"We had to steal him from his fate so he could see another day." -Twenty One Pilots, 'Taxi Cab'. "My hands did these things, but I was never easy in my mind." -Mudbound |
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#5 |
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MickeyCheeky
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#6 |
Grand Poohbah
TheLonelyChemist
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I am an anxiety sufferer as well and I am in similar situation, there are many voices in my head that chat with me, curse at me, make me depressed, and all that. I think it may be due to dissociation, but yes, anxiety/PTSD can cause this. I believe your depression/anxiety is severe, that's why you were put on antipsychotics.
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#7 | |
Grand Magnate
Só leigheas
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"We had to steal him from his fate so he could see another day." -Twenty One Pilots, 'Taxi Cab'. "My hands did these things, but I was never easy in my mind." -Mudbound |
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#8 |
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MickeyCheeky
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You're not weak at all
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#9 |
Elder
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Hi, Só leigheas. No you're not weak, as Mickey said. It really is mental illness. Very sorry you're having to go through all those things as well. ((((Hugs!))))
So, for all the years of training and learning and insights in psychology, that's all the pdoc can tell you? You're obviously struggling, and I wish I knew the answers, but surely the pdoc must have some better tricks up his sleeve? Ask them for everything they have in regards to stopping these intrusive thoughts and impulses. Ask them for a list of all the techniques and recommendations into making it stop, so you can go through and try them. I wonder if such a list even exists? It must do. Hang in there and stay strong Só leigheas. |
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#10 | |
Grand Poohbah
TheLonelyChemist
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You have severe depression, and I believe it's indeed causing psychotic symptoms... although I cannot be of any help, I suggest you to spend more time in leisure and exercise some. (I also suffer from mild depression. It's hell.)
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