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Old 09-09-2018, 04:48 PM   #11
cptsdwhoa
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Default Re: Freezing up and not knowing what to say right away when falsely accused of someth

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i am shy too and this type of situation i would in the past dwell on. not anymore as i realize it is better to walk away, whether you say something or not. a person who accuses you of things isn't worth the time of my day unless it was something i knew was true. you're better off without them.
Thanks for this. Walking away feels next to impossible for me lol! Especially since a lot of my issues are with my family. I don't know how to love them without being used.
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Old 09-09-2018, 04:52 PM   #12
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Default Re: Freezing up and not knowing what to say right away when falsely accused of someth

I have low self-esteem and a hard time speaking up for myself too. People often take advantage of me.
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Old 09-09-2018, 05:08 PM   #13
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I struggle with this constantly and have for years. I'm learning that a lot of my struggle stems from my battle with Cptsd. I was so afraid as a child to speak up that I genuinely don't know how to do it now. So, I have to learn to be more assertive and and not freeze with fear that the person will hurt me, which triggers my fawn/freeze response (see Pete Walker's Surviving to Thriving or Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy for a description of the four F's).

I was remembering an incident from childhood that made me think about how far back my freezing goes. I was dressed up for Easter and ready to go to church. I was wearing a pair of shoes that were too small and my feet hurt so bad. But I was so afraid of getting in trouble for saying something that I wore those horrible shoes all day until I wanted to cry from the pain.

So, I think part of it is, somewhere along the line I either forgot how to speak up or never learned. I'm a compassionate person too, so codependency and being walked all over is a constant problem for me.
I have the same issue and always have as well. I'm sorry you struggle, never heard of Fawn before. I'll look into that.
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Old 09-09-2018, 05:11 PM   #14
rdgrad15
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Thanks for this. Walking away feels next to impossible for me lol! Especially since a lot of my issues are with my family. I don't know how to love them without being used.
Yeah walking away can be hard.
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Old 09-09-2018, 05:11 PM   #15
rdgrad15
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I have low self-esteem and a hard time speaking up for myself too. People often take advantage of me.
Same with me.
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:12 PM   #16
cptsdwhoa
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I have the same issue and always have as well. I'm sorry you struggle, never heard of Fawn before. I'll look into that.
Thanks so much I'm just learning about Fawn as well. Honestly, just learning that I have ptsd at all. It's been an eye opener learning about it. I hope that you find helpful information!
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:27 PM   #17
rdgrad15
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Thanks so much I'm just learning about Fawn as well. Honestly, just learning that I have ptsd at all. It's been an eye opener learning about it. I hope that you find helpful information!
Thank you and I'm glad it is helping you by learning it!
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Old 09-09-2018, 07:48 PM   #18
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Yes, I have this same issue. I avoid confrontation as much as possible because of it. It frustrates me so much that I can't muster basic words in a situation like that. For instance, I was pulled over in the Spring for being in the passing lane on the highway with no cars to pass. When the cop asked me why I was in that lane I just quickly said, without even thinking, "passing" - it WAS true, I had just passed a car who exited just a quarter mile or so before the cop saw me. The reason I stayed in that lane after passing was because the highway was about to end and I needed to be in that lane to turn in town coming up. Of course my stupid brain completely dumped that tidbit and I didn't mention that. When he confronted me on the fact that he saw no other cars, just me on that stretch of highway, I froze and couldn't say anything else. I'm sure this made me look like a liar. I tried to explain it on the appeal form online, but of course they didn't buy it and I still had to pay the full fine and pay for traffic school to avoid getting points put on my license.
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Old 09-10-2018, 07:06 AM   #19
rdgrad15
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Yes, I have this same issue. I avoid confrontation as much as possible because of it. It frustrates me so much that I can't muster basic words in a situation like that. For instance, I was pulled over in the Spring for being in the passing lane on the highway with no cars to pass. When the cop asked me why I was in that lane I just quickly said, without even thinking, "passing" - it WAS true, I had just passed a car who exited just a quarter mile or so before the cop saw me. The reason I stayed in that lane after passing was because the highway was about to end and I needed to be in that lane to turn in town coming up. Of course my stupid brain completely dumped that tidbit and I didn't mention that. When he confronted me on the fact that he saw no other cars, just me on that stretch of highway, I froze and couldn't say anything else. I'm sure this made me look like a liar. I tried to explain it on the appeal form online, but of course they didn't buy it and I still had to pay the full fine and pay for traffic school to avoid getting points put on my license.
Oh wow that really sucks. Yeah instances like that is sonfrustrating. I never got pulled over since I donít drive but that is something I see happening to me if I ever did get pulled over once I start driving.
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Old 09-10-2018, 07:40 PM   #20
cptsdwhoa
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Oh wow that really sucks. Yeah instances like that is sonfrustrating. I never got pulled over since I donít drive but that is something I see happening to me if I ever did get pulled over once I start driving.
Same here. I've had many start stops with driving. I have a license at least, but yeah lets just say I'm a nervous driver.
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