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Old 09-06-2018, 11:53 PM   #1
Só leigheas
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Default No one gets it

I was going to post this in the PTSD forum but I suppose it probably applies to more mental illnesses than that.

Does anyone else ever try to explain things, like what you deal with on a daily basis, just to get them to understand (whether it be a doctor, T, pdoc, family member, friend etc.), only to get that confused expression on their face in response?

It's like only a handful of people get it ever so slightly, not because they have personal experience but rather clinical experience. So often I just get an, "I'm sorry" or "That sounds terrible".
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Old 09-07-2018, 12:09 AM   #2
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Yuuuuuup. Even current best friend at first didn't get it, and still doesn't fully. I get that a lot with "friends". It's hard to know though if you've never gone through it I think. What I try to focus on is when people try to understand or try to care despite not understanding.
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Old 09-07-2018, 12:17 AM   #3
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By now, I can kind of tell what certain people's response will be. I only tell my husband and my T and sometimes they don't et i.
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Old 09-07-2018, 03:12 AM   #4
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Default Re: No one gets it

Yes, it can be very hard.
Not from my own experience but from my wife. She struggles with emotional and mental difficulties that as much as I read about and look into I can’t fully appreciate myself.
But don’t mistake people not understanding with not caring, so many friends and family if they did know how it was for you, would jump to your aid and say the perfect things, but they can’t.
I ask my wife endless questions about how she’s feeling, and give her time to think about how to explain it. If you can find someone with time to hear you then never give up in trying to make yourself inderstood. Nothing shows you that someone cares about you more than a willingness to patiently listen.
I hope you can’t find someone who can understand you and am sorry it’s so hard.

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Old 09-09-2018, 09:05 PM   #5
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I agree that nothing shows that someone cares about you more than a willingness to listen (patiently)

I feel like not many get me.. a few do though (at least somewhat)

Yeah, the “I’m sorry” or “that sounds terrible” response isn’t helpful..

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Old 09-09-2018, 10:10 PM   #6
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Um, I usually get other responses when I tell people, friends, docs, whatnot. Some are just curious. Some make strange remarks because they heard of the condition and now they are experts on it. Some get angry. Actually quite many get grumpy about it. "We all have our problems", they say, and "You're Nordic, we're not weaklings, pull yourself together". I guess saying they are sorry is simply not in my culture.

Usually I don't even tell to explain something. It is more in context like if they invite me to something, and I ask if it is OK to wait until the last moment to decide, because I can never know how healthy I will be (I have physical illness as well). Quite many interrogates me to see if my illness is serious enough in their eyes to give me special treatment about.
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Old 09-09-2018, 11:09 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
Um, I usually get other responses when I tell people, friends, docs, whatnot. Some are just curious. Some make strange remarks because they heard of the condition and now they are experts on it. Some get angry. Actually quite many get grumpy about it. "We all have our problems", they say, and "You're Nordic, we're not weaklings, pull yourself together". I guess saying they are sorry is simply not in my culture.

Usually I don't even tell to explain something. It is more in context like if they invite me to something, and I ask if it is OK to wait until the last moment to decide, because I can never know how healthy I will be (I have physical illness as well). Quite many interrogates me to see if my illness is serious enough in their eyes to give me special treatment about.
That kind of response in similar to what I've experienced in the African American community. A lot of people either think that black people can't suffer from mental illness or that I'm weak and not acting like a "strong black woman." There's doesn't seem to be a lot of understanding in the black community although mental health organizations are trying to change that.

I tend to get these responses from my family a lot. Either they've read about it somewhere and now they're experts, or they say they understand and disregard my boundaries anyway. Then after I struggle trying to deal with them it's all my fault and I'm mental.
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Old 09-10-2018, 03:08 AM   #8
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I'm sorry to hear that. It's prbably hard to understand to those who have never experienced it. Do they at least try to listen?
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Old 09-10-2018, 09:57 AM   #9
Só leigheas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I'm sorry to hear that. It's prbably hard to understand to those who have never experienced it. Do they at least try to listen?
A couple of them do and I do appreciate that.

Another response is "stop being so negative" and "don't be a debbie downer".

I will say, at least I have this place. It does help.
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Old 09-10-2018, 11:34 AM   #10
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Responses like - “we all have our problems” - grrrrrrrrrr
This is true, especially people who make stupid and unhelpful comments such as that
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