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#401 |
Magnate
Blueberrybook
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,627
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Thanks for the birthday wishes.
I feel like I might be running a fever. We did have a surprise birthday party at my Grandma’s house Saturday for my mom, who turns 60 on the 23rd. She actually was really surprised. On the other hand, my aunt who is nearly always a bit sick with something was there; she’s not a hypochondriac but has lupus, and it makes her immune system weaker than it would otherwise be. Also, my 3 nieces were there. The youngest is 4, and the other 2 are in kindergarten and 2nd grade, so lots of germs. Lucy, you asked if I am running from something. Maybe? I know definitely to get away from my problems. I like when I dissociate and lose myself in my head or sometimes even just sort of be. I can always bring myself out of it. I have dissociated since I was a young girl, so it is an old coping technique for me. Weirdly too, I sometimes wonder if the running, the whole ED really is a means of self harm less obvious than cutting (which I used to do in college but have not now for nearly 20 years). Is the running a substitute? I wish I knew. Going to take my temperature now though I am pretty certain I have a slight fever.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia/EDNOS, Panic Disorder, ADHD Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 500 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro) I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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#402 | |
Grand Poohbah
LucyD
Spring is coming..yay
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: USA
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__________________
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Steve Maraboli OCD mixed with PTSD, Formerly Bulimic for 25 years, Recovering from Binge Eating Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder Type 2, Recovering from Substance Abuse. NASH, Cirrhosis of the Liver, Osteoarthritis, Diabetes Type 2, Lung Nodules, Survivor of all forms of abuse Risperidone-1 mg, Gabapentin-600-900 mg, Melatonin-5 mg., Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg.
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#403 | |
Grand Poohbah
LucyD
Spring is coming..yay
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,591
My Mood: ![]() ![]() 1,456 hugs
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__________________
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Steve Maraboli OCD mixed with PTSD, Formerly Bulimic for 25 years, Recovering from Binge Eating Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder Type 2, Recovering from Substance Abuse. NASH, Cirrhosis of the Liver, Osteoarthritis, Diabetes Type 2, Lung Nodules, Survivor of all forms of abuse Risperidone-1 mg, Gabapentin-600-900 mg, Melatonin-5 mg., Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg.
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#404 | |
Magnate
Blueberrybook
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
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Do you have Netflix or Amazon Prime, Vudu, any shows you can binge watch or maybe people have channels on YouTube (I know some are free with commercials or the shows broken up) they can suggest? I like to play simple games on my iPad when I get feeling the way you are, no energy to do much. Do you have a tablet? I will download free games for color-by-number or cross-stitch (cross-stitch world is a fun one). They will give you a certain number of pictures for free, then you have to buy or redo the old pictures. You will get some credit for doing new pics, but not redoing the old. But they do give you some of their cash daily for logging in, and every Wednesday, they post a free code on cross-stitch world community on Facebook for a free picture, plus you can make one pic of your own daily & accept one from a friend (though they are smaller pics and give hardly any credit when done). But when I get to that point, I just find a new similar game (I like word games like Tile Twist too), download it, play the free puzzles, then remove it if I need the storage space on my tablet and find a new simple game requiring little thinking to play. Often, I listen to music while playing those games or the TV. I like true crime stuff, so often I watch Investigation Discovery. Really, I like mostly like listening to shows that are narrated, so you don't have to pay 100% attention to the TV. I will watch the history channel or Science channel, whatever has some narration going on and a topic that interests me a bit.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia/EDNOS, Panic Disorder, ADHD Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 500 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro) I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost Last edited by Blueberrybook; 01-23-2019 at 06:34 AM.. |
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#405 |
Magnate
Blueberrybook
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,627
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Raining today. Supposed to let up around 9, 10 AM, may try running then. I like to run early though, so it's frustrating, but rain fries my electronics, and I love to listen to music while running. Got an awesome $5 deal on wireless over the head earphones that work with Bluetooth on an after Christmas clearance sale, and so far, so good. I never can keep earbuds in, and lately, I have been having one side on wired headphones go out on various brands while running. I looked it up online and it has to do with the repetitive motion & the wires (and possibly them catching on my Fitbit or just being not as good as they once were because wired earphones used to last me over a year, not just a couple runs or almost a month at the longest). Also, I have the Fitbit I don't want to fry. It's a Fitbit Surge, which they discontinued though I think they may still sell some on Amazon and definitely refurbished on eBay (where I got mine). I like it because it is one of the few Fitbits with built in GPS that does not require your cellphone Bluetooth for GPS (much cheaper than the Fitbit Ionic, which I think is maybe the only other one with built in GPS, IDK, could be a newer one that has the GPS).
See the pdoc tomorrow, first time since November as he let me have 3 phone appts. since last coming in. I hate the thought of the scale. My weight has not changed much, but I am more compact from running a lot, so I look smaller, and with the time gap too, he will probably weigh me and likely send me to the PCP for labs as I have not had any done since June. He has not been happy with my weight since I fully recovered from my ulcer surgery (maybe June 2018 or so?); before then, I guess he figured it was OK I had lost weight because a perforated ulcer surgery is very radical and causes rapid weight loss (you can look up the standard treatment online and see what I mean if you like). But my old pdoc never fretted about weight in this range. Hopefully, once he sees that I more or less maintain in a 5 lb. range or so, he will get over it. He was already all on about hospitalization when I weighed a couple pounds more (my old pdoc would not have been) or going on Remeron (never, never again; I never felt full no matter how much I ate on that drug, ever, so I threw it out; it also made me extremely tired all day). And he has a stupid scale that weighs 5 lb. lower than everyone else's (mine, my PCP, the dermatologist, the GI doc). I don't know if he realizes this or if he calibrates it that way to make up for the possibility of water loading, but it makes your weight look worse than it is if you are on the low end.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia/EDNOS, Panic Disorder, ADHD Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 500 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro) I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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#406 |
Magnate
Blueberrybook
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,627
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How is everyone doing? I am nervous about seeing the pdoc tomorrow morning.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia/EDNOS, Panic Disorder, ADHD Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 500 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro) I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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#407 |
Magnate
Blueberrybook
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,627
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Pdoc appt. went fine. No change in medication. I asked if I could go back down to Seroquel 400 mg, and he said not yet. No weighing, so I must have looked OK to him. Actually did hair & makeup for a change today. Still ran, but not as much as yesterday.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia/EDNOS, Panic Disorder, ADHD Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 500 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro) I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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#408 |
Grand Member
Gr3tta_0
Now with more "0"iness!
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 906
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I have been cleaning like a tornado! 😀 As a result my kitchen is rearranged better, so I've been more inclined to cook. I made a huge batch of veggie broth last weekend, and have now made veggie soup with different ingredients twice.
I also got an email at work i HOPE is good news. Now if it would just stop freaking snowing!!!!!! |
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#409 | |
Grand Poohbah
LucyD
Spring is coming..yay
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,591
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I don't have Netflix any longer because I think I watched many/most of the longer seasons shows and now seems like all they have is shows with 1 season and I've watched them and waited for new seasons and they don't have them yet. I'll try Netflix again in the future when they have more seasons. I love ID channel and watching the murder mysteries. Only thing is that if I watch them too much I start getting paranoid about strangers! LOL You never know what people are up to in this world. I don't have a tablet and mostly us my desktop pc and also my smartphone by wifi as it's not in service. I have another smaller smart phone for emergencies I keep in my purse charged, hopefully.. ![]() Sounds like you do lots of interesting things to keep yourself occupied.
__________________
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Steve Maraboli OCD mixed with PTSD, Formerly Bulimic for 25 years, Recovering from Binge Eating Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder Type 2, Recovering from Substance Abuse. NASH, Cirrhosis of the Liver, Osteoarthritis, Diabetes Type 2, Lung Nodules, Survivor of all forms of abuse Risperidone-1 mg, Gabapentin-600-900 mg, Melatonin-5 mg., Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg.
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#410 |
Grand Poohbah
LucyD
Spring is coming..yay
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,591
My Mood: ![]() ![]() 1,456 hugs
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It's funny how when we worry about something it sometimes doesn't happen. Glad he didn't weigh you as I know that is hard on you.
__________________
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Steve Maraboli OCD mixed with PTSD, Formerly Bulimic for 25 years, Recovering from Binge Eating Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder Type 2, Recovering from Substance Abuse. NASH, Cirrhosis of the Liver, Osteoarthritis, Diabetes Type 2, Lung Nodules, Survivor of all forms of abuse Risperidone-1 mg, Gabapentin-600-900 mg, Melatonin-5 mg., Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg.
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