[MoxieDoxie]

My T said I should just accept my eating disorder and that I am running so hard from what I am. He asked what would be so wrong with me binging and purging once a week? What would be worse...depression and anxiety or the bulimic act once a week?

I was in tears. I was so upset because for me accepting the bulimia as my identity would me I would let go and just lose control of it. That I would just stop fighting it.

[downandlonely]

I don't know much about eating disorders, but I don't think you should just accept bulimia. Maybe find a therapist who will help you stop binging and purging.

[Blueberrybook]

No, don’t accept having an ED. You do that, you will tie up your whole identity with having an ED, and when you recover, you will really be floundering. I am no psychologist, but it might be time to look for another T. That is AWFUL advice!

[Unbrokensoulgeron]

I have to correct myself and others all the time. I am not bipolar or a manic depressive. It is not an illness but a condition. I will always have it. I have bi-polar but it does not define me or isn't part of me. Its just in the back-round and I have it under control and monitor it without even realising it revealing too much to others.
Anorexia and bulimia are different as they are conditions that can be recovered from completely. Of course many relapse like any mental health struggle or addictions. So you can say I HAVE bulimia at present time or I am fighting bulimia but I am not bulimic and won't be bulimic forever. Little word changes make a big difference I say. So one day you can say I had bulimia and I got better and over it.
I accepted that I had to take my medication but the label is something that I am still not comfortable sharing so I can see why you resist the therapists advice. You can only accept it when you are ready. But then again I recovered from psychosis without admitting it at the time. It was years later that I was strong enough to actually face what it really was. An episode. A break from reality.
Do you read other people's success stories on eating disorders? You can beat it. It will be a speck in the past distance before you know it.

[Starry_Night]

Yikes! What a lousy thing for your therapist to say!!
You do not have to accspt it and you shouldnt. your bulimia can and will kill you. who wants to accept things like that?
you CAN recover. you can.
i had anorexia and bulimia, BAD, for around 27 years.
i was positive i would never get better. i was completely hopeless. everyone gave up on me. i was extremely sick.
Now i am happy and eating disorder free. I eat normally. I no longer haver any of those behaviors. I know that if someone as hopeless as i was can do it, anyone can . you can too.

[MoxieDoxie]

Yeah I am not sure what he was trying to do there. We do not touch that topic now but he did say for the last 3 sessions he was triggering me to help me learn how to pull myself out of it so we can start to do EMDR. Oh he triggered me alright that day.

[downandlonely]

I'm not sure about that triggering technique. Do you think he's a good therapist?

[MoxieDoxie]

Yes.....It took me a while to see that he was because he was not like all the others. He does not skirt around issues that make me uncomfortable like everyone else did leaving with the same issues and not getting better. I was scared to death going into his office but that has lessened. He answers all emails in like 1 hour and on weekends and has called me several times when I was having issues. He has cultivated a connection so I can feel safe with him and trust him. My dissociation has lessened in his office and I do not leave there feeling like I got beat up. It has taken 11 sessions but he said I am finally ready to start EMDR as I have proven I can pull myself out of a dissociated state, well with his help, so I do not leave his office a mess.

[Catgotmytongue]

I understand how you mean being worried you will lose control. It’s actually how I feel today. I’ve been binging a lot lately and I’m so worried if I just accept that this is it and how I am then I’ll just let go and never have the motivation to fight back. Today’s not been a great day.

[yellow_fleurs]

Don't accept it as part of you forever! Accepting that you make a mistake and not putting so much pressure to be perfect as you try to recover is one thing, but not just giving up. I recommend fighting it until it is gone. When I was inpatient, one of the staff told me some statistics about how unlikely it was to ever recover from anorexia (like why would you tell me that?). That actually motivated me to prove them wrong, though. I don't identify with my eating disorder anymore, nor do I imagine ever relapsing. It is definitely possible to recover. Also, purging can cause long term damage, so yes it matters if you do it for your health.