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Old 01-11-2019, 09:34 PM   #1
ennie
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Default Parental alienation/ ignorant-family intervention

Do parental alienation go both ways? From mom or dad?

If I am not an expert in this area, should I even bud in to help, even if they are family members?

P.S.
A family member has been trying to "educate" me on the subject of parental alienation by sending me articles so I guess that means she wants help.

Last edited by ennie; 01-12-2019 at 12:25 AM.. Reason: add P.S., clarity
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Old 01-12-2019, 09:25 AM   #2
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Default Re: Parental alienation/ ignorant-family intervention

Yes, of course it can be either parent trying to alienate the child(ren) from the other. Whether it be by bashing to the children the other parent, manipulating the child's thought process and perception of the other parent or by physically withholding visitation without a legal ok by the justice system. And I'm sure that I've left things out.

Only way to know if this family member is looking for help is to ask them why they are sending you this much literature.
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Old 01-12-2019, 01:35 PM   #3
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Default Re: Parental alienation/ ignorant-family intervention

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Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
Yes, of course it can be either parent trying to alienate the child(ren) from the other. Whether it be by bashing to the children the other parent, manipulating the child's thought process and perception of the other parent or by physically withholding visitation without a legal ok by the justice system. And I'm sure that I've left things out.

Only way to know if this family member is looking for help is to ask them why they are sending you this much literature.
Okay, thank you. I will ask her...I was also actually suspecting that maybe she was trying to influence my opinion at the same time.
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Old 01-13-2019, 04:39 AM   #4
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Default Re: Parental alienation/ ignorant-family intervention

I think it works either way and its really a sh*tty thing.
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Old 02-06-2019, 02:01 PM   #5
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I think it works either way and its really a sh*tty thing.
It really is. I don't have any legal right over their child (even though he is related to me) so it's frustrating to see all that is happening, knowing there is nothing I can do about it within my human power. I suppose this is where the serenity prayer comes in: "Help me to accept the things I cannot change."
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Old 02-06-2019, 02:23 PM   #6
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Default Re: Parental alienation/ ignorant-family intervention

I believe it can come from either parent, ennie. It's terrible when it happens. I'm so sorry your relative is going through this. I agree with all the others. Try to talk to her about this and see how it goes from there. Ask her if she needs any help. I think you have every right to step in, after all it is a relative of yours and the child is related to you as well. I hope things will get better soon. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 02-06-2019, 06:58 PM   #7
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I believe it can come from either parent, ennie. It's terrible when it happens. I'm so sorry your relative is going through this. I agree with all the others. Try to talk to her about this and see how it goes from there. Ask her if she needs any help. I think you have every right to step in, after all it is a relative of yours and the child is related to you as well. I hope things will get better soon. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
Thank you Mickey, you are always so sweet. The problem is, I now regret asking her if she needs help. Because it turns out that the help that she wants is for me to cooperate with her vindictive pursuit against her ex. It's technically not a crime so it's not like I have a place to confidentially "report" her behavior. I'm really hoping for a therapist to intervene at some point. But I'm also wondering if a therapist can actually "fix" parental alienation (?)
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Old 02-06-2019, 07:59 PM   #8
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Default Re: Parental alienation/ ignorant-family intervention

If you are on good terms with the person who is attempting the parental alienation, and someone else on the other side has warned you that they are aware of this person's efforts (cuz i cant figure out what the situation is by your description), then i would warn the parental person that parental alienation is indeed something they could be punished for. The judges dont like it. Im not sure what kind of crime it is, or if in all states, but it is becoming an issue.
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Old 02-06-2019, 09:43 PM   #9
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If you are on good terms with the person who is attempting the parental alienation, and someone else on the other side has warned you that they are aware of this person's efforts (cuz i cant figure out what the situation is by your description), then i would warn the parental person that parental alienation is indeed something they could be punished for. The judges dont like it. Im not sure what kind of crime it is, or if in all states, but it is becoming an issue.
Thank you for the great advice (I have more information in my other post about this). I think that there is a chance she may change her behavior if she understands that there are consequences for it.

Following your advice, I am thinking of saying something to her along the lines of:

"If you continue to engage in parental alienation, that could hurt you. I don't want you to do things that could backfire on you and you will regret later."

Last edited by ennie; 02-07-2019 at 12:48 AM.. Reason: grammar
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Old 02-06-2019, 09:51 PM   #10
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Default Re: Parental alienation/ ignorant-family intervention

Children fare better when they are afforded the opportunity to grow to formulate their own opinions about their parents.
My mom and maternal family compared it to a form of brainwashing. Because that's what it looks like when in action.
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