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Old 11-23-2018, 04:25 PM   #1
Denton554
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Confused Separation - Financial Issues- Filing Taxes

This is somewhat different than other posts. Basically, my wife is bipolar/paranoid and was so diagnosed. Refuses to take medication, then thought whole world was against her, and then thought I wanted to kill her. Wanted me out, and so I decided I should go before I found myself in that condition upon not waking up one morning. We separated, even though she wanted divorce, because she chooses not to work, and I have to support her for the sake of the kids, who are in grade and high school. I could have insisted on the divorce she filed for, but then kids lose private school, and gets forced out of childhood home. I didn't want that, though by not insisting on it I have lost many hundreds of thousands of dollars. I pay all, private school tuition, her mortgage, and also support. Since health insurance would be another $1,000 a month, I let her stay married until I find someone. I must remain married for 2 years. Kids are with her since she is normal 95% of the time, and so there was no way to remove custody (and that would have also hurt the kids, since they are mostly bonded to her--since she didn't work). I'm not a saint, but since I kind of like my kids, I am trying to do what is best for them. Ok, so what's my question? She had an accountant for a few decades. We still filed jointly. He just resigned now, though, because of perceived conflict of interest. Filing joint saves tax money. However, I don't want her to know all my financial matters. For example, an apartment I regained full title to by giving her even more of my 401k money I just sold. She will go psychologically whacko if she finds out, and once again I and the kids would have to bear the brunt of her illness for some time. I'm not sure exactly where it gets disclosed in forms, and there should be no gain since I acquired via life estate from a deceased parent, recently, but if a new accountant brings it up, she will find out. What to do? Makes no sense (and probably not rational- and also she will wonder) to have two accountants, one for her and one for me, for a joint filing. Besides costing more money.
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Old 11-23-2018, 09:06 PM   #2
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Default Re: Separation - Financial Issues- Filing Taxes

Do you need to shop around for a cpa together? If not, in searching for a new one, bring up this concern to see what can be done?
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Old 11-23-2018, 09:20 PM   #3
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Default Re: Separation - Financial Issues- Filing Taxes

Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
Do you need to shop around for a cpa together? If not, in searching for a new one, bring up this concern to see what can be done?
Thanks. Yes, I was wondering what other people have done in this situation. First, I don't know if one needs two CPA's. But if not, I would need to ask the CPA to keep any information to himself, except as limited by whatever would need to be produced when we both sign the tax forms. But I would obviously need to do this without her knowing, which in turn would cause this new CPA some ethical angst, like it apparently did the old one. Even though I am not "putting anything over" on the wife, the CPA may have issues, as he is not familiar with the overall details of the situation. And of course the more I tell him, as an explanation for why this needs to be confidential, the more he may think I am in fact trying to do something sneaky--when all I'm trying to do is keep my side of the situation confidential.
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Old 11-23-2018, 10:38 PM   #4
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Default Re: Separation - Financial Issues- Filing Taxes

Have you considered contacting a divorce tax attorney?
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Old 11-24-2018, 07:32 AM   #5
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Default Re: Separation - Financial Issues- Filing Taxes

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Have you considered contacting a divorce tax attorney?
That would be an expensive proposition. These guys charge half a thousand per hour...By this point, I'm kind of hand to mouth. And it's not like there's a question concerning the best approach. I have nothing special in my facts--clearly joint filing saves money.
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Old 11-24-2018, 09:54 PM   #6
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Default Re: Separation - Financial Issues- Filing Taxes

Best of luck to you during this stresfull time.


You may find this article interesting (from Money Crashers by Gary Tuttle):


Married Filing Taxes Jointly vs. Married Filing Separately Which Is Better?
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