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Old 11-22-2018, 09:15 AM   #1
Azzurrella
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Hi to everybody!
Iíve recently(2 months ago) signed my divorce. My ex didnít came arbthe Court, there was another lawer insted of him, saying he was outside for job. I met him in the same afternoon, in my town, with her fiancťe (a commom friend, a friend of mine, who was completely alone and that I had welcome in my life, thatís the story). So, the matter is not that, Iím not still fallen in love with him, I hope to never see him again on my way but...
How long does it take to recover? To forget maybe, to not to be still in anger, to not hate anyone.
To regain hope in the future.
It will be possible? Iím asking myself if I will have a future in spite of them, if I will have again something in my life.
I find no way to exit from this dark way, I canít imagine an happy future. I see myself alone time after time.


Will it end this terrible time?
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Old 11-22-2018, 04:32 PM   #2
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Hi. I cannot tell you how long it will take because each situation is individual, but what I can advise is that you do anything and everything in life that makes you happiest. Get out and be with friends, get into your hobbies and interests and pursue fun activities, or anything that brings enjoyment and joy for you. That will help you immensely. It does take time to get over a heartache and a loss, but when you're out enjoying life, it lessens the pain of that loss. It always helps me personally to think of all the negatives about that person, the reasons why we broke up and to know that there is a far better match out there for you. Then you begin to date again, you meet new people and develop an interest in someone, and suddenly you realize that you're finally over your ex.
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Old 11-23-2018, 01:45 AM   #3
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So, I do everything I can not to stay closed in myself thinking and thinking. But there are some problems they will not solve in a moment....as:
- today I have not a home of mine; I'm living with my parents, it is 6 months, waiting for my home to be ready;
- I moved from a big town to a small one, because of economic issues. Here it is not so easy to have new friends and to date new people. Not so easy.
- my old friends, they have families and babies, and they are not so free to stay with me.
- I'm really busy with my job.

But...I will recover, maybe.
But I'm divided, as if there coud be 2 me.
One trying to swim and swim and swim, always smiling and fair with everyone, but grasping to not go down under the water, and die.
And another one that looks at me in a few years old and alone, with a cat and anything else. My life spent without significance.

I don't know, I feel like a crazy fly when cold start, they go around and around and they die, finally.
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Old 11-23-2018, 08:03 AM   #4
healingme4me
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2 months from signing the divorce papers is very fresh. There is no set timeline, but at 2 months, it stands to reason it's not now nor tomorrow for being recovered from the grief. Time is time. How long were you married? Did you have children together? Who initiated the divorce?

Be gentle with yourself. One day, one step at a time.
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Old 11-23-2018, 08:13 AM   #5
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((((Azzurella)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. It will certainly take time, but I do believe you can get over it. Just try to move on with your life and you'll forget him eventually. You can do this!
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Old 11-23-2018, 09:06 AM   #6
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Iím so sorry youíre going through this. It does take time to get over the loss of a relationship. Joining new groups, making new friends, finding new hobbies... these are all things I think could help you. Look at all the new things in your life... new possibilities... so that you can leave the old things in the past.
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Old 11-23-2018, 11:01 AM   #7
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I also don't know how long your divorce will take. It will take you some time to be ok about your divorce, and it will take time to date again. The hardest part of it all is waiting. Don't rush into another relationship, bc as a rule they don't work out!!!
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Old 11-23-2018, 05:16 PM   #8
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@healingme4me

Two months from signing divorce, one year ago my dear h. was subsituted by a monster I never knew; then there were months of fighting, he used the worst words and actions I could ever imagine.
ďTu quoque Bruto?Ē So, the worst betrayal was from the person who promised to take care of me. For these and other reasons, I donít miss him. He was the one who could destroy my life, and he tried to do. I donít miss him.
The problems are grief for general betrayal (not only cheating), the anger, the lost future, as I tried to build it. Everything will be different, donít know if better, I hope really not worse.
I know it will take time to heal. I donít know how long.
We were together from about 15 years. No child. He started everything, separation and divorae.
Iíve been like a rock in the sea. Never moving, never crying, never screaming.
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Old 11-23-2018, 05:28 PM   #9
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I'm sure it's a fallacy but when I was younger I once heard that it could take about half the time of the relationship to recover from heartbreak. Maybe it was just advice to remind not to rush into anything after? I haven't really tried to test such a theory but I have learned giving time to grieve matters.

It's ok to cry, laugh, scream.
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Old 11-24-2018, 12:27 AM   #10
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Half of more than 15 years are 8 years....
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