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Old 10-17-2017, 06:51 PM   #1
Tatyana2009
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Default Divorcing a narcissist

Hello. Any advice on separation from an abusive narcissist?
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Old 10-18-2017, 05:42 AM   #2
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Hello. Any advice on separation from an abusive narcissist?
Been there, done that. My best advice from personal experience is to try and cut off all personal contact, if possible. Talk through your lawyer. And start building a new life just for yourself.
Hang tough and donít let anyone bring you down.
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Old 10-18-2017, 09:57 PM   #3
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Thank you. We still live in the same house.
I m worried he will invent lies about me during the divorce
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Old 10-20-2017, 09:45 PM   #4
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Judges have seen and heard a lot. At the same time, many cases do not go to trial and much of the work is done with the mediators, who have also seen and heard a lot. When it comes down to it, it doesn't seem like they can be bothered by all the pettiness you fear aka his slander and lies.
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Old 10-21-2017, 06:36 AM   #5
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Thank you. We still live in the same house.
I m worried he will invent lies about me during the divorce
Iíd like to ad that I also had to live in the same house for a few years before I could move out. It was hell. Oh , there will be lies and slander for sure but that could be the least of your problems. Try not to be in the house as much as possible when heís there. I had nowhere to go. No work , no friends , no family. Itís hard not to talk to somebody you slept with in the same bed with for years. I tried and it always turned into an argument. The emotional toll it took on me was beyond description. I pray you can find a way out.
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Old 10-24-2017, 02:04 PM   #6
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In my experience the narcissist in my life walked away with all the family and friends. They are master manipulators and extremely charismatic. They tend to place themselves at the center of attention and surround themselves with those who if not one of their hand picked hangers on would be treated as unworthy.

Be prepared for him to be painted as the victim. Be prepared to be cut off as people pick his side (they can't help it).

But is this not worth being free of the cycle of abuse?
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Old 10-26-2017, 02:40 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Tatyana2009 View Post
Thank you. We still live in the same house.
I m worried he will invent lies about me during the divorce
I divorced one as well. He invented lies and he continues to lie to everyone. Heís very convincing to others. Just gather your evidence and stay aware. Donít communicate anything with him. More info for him is more ammunition. Keep your distance and sleep with one eye open. Itís a horrible experience.
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Old 10-26-2017, 02:41 PM   #8
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Live your life as if he doesn’t exist. Turn the page.
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Old 03-13-2018, 09:02 PM   #9
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Most of my husband's family is on my side. My husband called his sister last week, and she told him what she thought of him and abandoning his family, and for him never to call her again. He drained me of my childhood home, my retirement and blames me for the money problems we has, even though I have proof of his gambling and gaming as to where the money went.
Mine left the home, it has been a struggle to pay the bills. Money is tight, but I am doing it day by day, without any support from him what so ever.
There are days I just want to sit and cry because I am.so angry at the way he is treating our children. How does someone be with a child from birth to 11 years and just walk away and not talk to them for 4 1/2 months. I can only go a couple days and I have to hear their voice. With him it is out of sight out of mind.
Do not communicate with him or let your lawyer do the talking for you. Mine had a restraining order against me, and was still texting me and harassing me. His attorney had to tell him to stop contacting me.
Change the locks, ignore him.
Stay Strong!
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Old 03-18-2018, 09:44 PM   #10
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Separating from an abusive narcissist is difficult: they donít take rejection well. And if the ANarc has some sort of legal right to live in your home, there has to be a compelling legal reason to actually change the locks...as hugely tempting as that is... otherwise they have a right to call the cops. On the other hand, if you find yourself locked out or in...you have the right to call the cops, too...
Any lies and threats you may encounter are just there to control youóthey arenít the truth. Find people who keep you grounded in reality and who are good for youótheyíre the first line of defense against a manipulator.
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