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Old 03-20-2018, 06:52 AM   #11
continuosly blue
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I went through the hell of divorcing a narcissist. One day after 30 years of marriage she wonít let me touch her and wouldnít tell me why. Didnít want anything to do with me , and wouldnít tell me why. It was my fault though because all the red flags were there but I didnít have the cognitive ability to pick up on the clues. I was incompacitated physically and mentally. That , she took advantage of to the fullest. She didnít love or want me anymore but didnít want to divorce me because of financial reasons. So I filed because of being psychologically tortured by her passive aggressiveness. Just couldnít live like that anymore. Neither of us could afford to leave so we went into separate bedrooms. No kids around anymore, thank God. She still had to go to work but I was unable to , being physically and mentally disabled. The resentment was tremendous ! She turned my children against me. She turned anyone who would listen against me. I suffered tremendously as I had no one to turn to. I was totally abandoned.
So finally I was able to move out. I basically gave her everything as I just wanted out. I could have made her life miserable but I had a problem, I had a heart, which is a weakness when it comes to a divorce. She wanted to bury me.
I just wanted out. I went through a lot of pain but I eventually found a way to go on. I learned how to live in the moment and not the past. I was getting better.
My advice is to cut off all communication totally if possible. A divorce should be like a death. Itís over. At least thatís how I see it. What you need is friends, or family or anything that will give you some positive vibes and a reason to move on. A narcissist will try and destroy you. Iím sorry for rambling on but I want to share my horrible experience with divorcing a narcissist. And in short , the only way is to mentally think that they donít exist anymore so you can move on to a life that you deserve, even if itís by yourself.
Wishing you the best.
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Old 03-22-2018, 09:05 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana2009 View Post
Thank you. We still live in the same house.
I m worried he will invent lies about me during the divorce

He will lie - get ready!
PREPARE so you dont get knocked over. Expect NO integrity. NONE!!

These ppl are VERY VERY SICK. I just replied to a post re narc before you.
The advice you got was good. look up grey stone, no contact
Have you got kids with this narc?

Have as little to do with him as possible, but plan when. He might retaliate (all a control issue - they are kids throwing temper tantrums when they dont get their way). Remember they have the right to do what they want!

I shared a quote with the person b4 you, & will share another one with you (same site but cannot post) "they lie better than you tell the truth"
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Old 01-11-2019, 11:32 PM   #13
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Make sure you are NEVER alone with him.
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Old 01-13-2019, 12:27 AM   #14
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Also, remember this: that when you communicate with another human being, it is to connect, and understand, and evolve. An abusive narcissist on the other hand talks with you (or gives you the silent treatment) to control you, to manipulate you, to instill fear, to gather evidence that can be used in a court of law or in a future argument. Therefore, it is impossible to explain anything or get explanations from the narcissist. Really. My wife kept saying ďI donít understand why...Ē but then when I made the mistake of trying to explain she just used whatever I said to denigrate me.
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