Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > > >



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-14-2007, 08:19 AM   #11
26west
Member
 
26west's Avatar
26west has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Berkshires
Posts: 30
My Mood: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

10 yr Member
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

JUST A QUICK NOTE -- how do u know when there is no more hope and it should be over??????????? Iv'e been married for 17years it's taken all the life from me iv'e totally lost who and what i am and stand for-- my kids see it to-(that's the worst) when do i call it quits or do i?????????
help
__________________
Look beyond the mirror to really see.........
26west is offline   Reply With Quote

advertisement
Old 11-14-2007, 03:55 PM   #12
sunrise
Legendary
 
sunrise's Avatar
sunrise has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 10,383 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
108 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

Hi 26west, a therapist helped me sort it all out. It took some time to even know what I wanted and what the best course was. It was just too big of a problem for me to figure out on my own. The thing with your kids sounds like a different problem from whether to end the marriage. The marriage is to your husband. You will still be a mom to your kids whether married or divorced. Maybe a family therapist could help with some of the kid issues. Take care and best of luck.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships."
sunrise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2007, 04:00 PM   #13
hopeless2001
New Member
hopeless2001 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2007
Location: tx
Posts: 2
10 yr Member
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

Hello, this is the first time I have ever done this, My husband who is disabled(completely blind) has asked me for a divorce, this is not the only time he has done so but he is having an affair and is faulting in my face I love this man I have been with him for 15yrs (6 of them married) I married after he lost his vision the person I once knew is gone when he lost his sight his personality went also. I have forgiven him in the past but at this point I dont know what to do I feel that this person is just using him like before they think he has money which he does not all he has is his ss which is not much. all my friends tell me that I do way to much for him that he doesnt appericate what he has and never will for me to leave him
hopeless2001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2008, 10:00 PM   #14
THX1138
New Member
THX1138 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Posts: 2
10 yr Member
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

Hello all I was served papers yesterday and to make matters worse she has also put a restraining order out on me as well. The restraining order is all false and I think it is just a way to discredit me to benifit her wants and needs. I dont want the divorce I love my wife with all my heart and even more for my 2 1/2 year old son and my 2 month old son. I think she is suffering with post pardom depression. I think she is also upset that she had her tubes tied witch was a decision we made together. I don't know what to do. I have zero contact with her so I cant talk to her. I believe her mom went with her to have the papers drawn up. Her mom has always ben very short with me and maks snide remarks all the time when we are in the same room. This came totally out of left feild and I was cought blind sided. I believe the root of it all is a type of depression. And if that is the case ARE the children safe with her? HELP!!!
THX1138 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2008, 10:11 PM   #15
THX1138
New Member
THX1138 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Posts: 2
10 yr Member
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

Hello all I was served papers yesterday and to make matters worse she has also put a restraining order out on me as well. The restraining order is all false and I think it is just a way to discredit me to benifit her wants and needs. I dont want the divorce I love my wife with all my heart and even more for my 2 1/2 year old son and my 2 month old son. I think she is suffering with post pardom depression. I think she is also upset that she had her tubes tied witch was a decision we made together. I don't know what to do. I have zero contact with her so I cant talk to her. I believe her mom went with her to have the papers drawn up. Her mom has always ben very short with me and maks snide remarks all the time when we are in the same room. This came totally out of left feild and I was cought blind sided. I believe the root of it all is a type of depression. And if that is the case ARE the children safe with her? HELP!!!
THX1138 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2008, 12:51 AM   #16
sunrise
Legendary
 
sunrise's Avatar
sunrise has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 10,383 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
108 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

Hi THX1138, and welcome to PC.

I'm sorry you were served papers like that out of the blue. What a shock. I'm going through a divorce and it's very tough.

Because you have been served not only papers but a restraining order, you do need a lawyer to help you deal with this. Since you are hoping to still salvage the relationship, I would advise not immediately getting the most aggresive, hardass lawyer you can. Get someone a bit softer, who can litigate if necessary, but who understands you still are hoping to salvage the relationship. See if you can work with your lawyer and "the other side" to resolve the issue of the restraining order (that it is inaccurate). Your lawyer can also help you file papers to give you access to your kids.

Would it be possible for you and your wife to go to some counseling to get both of your feelings out on the table and find out what is going on? It seems like this is a possible route to reconciliation. At least you will know what you are dealing with. Your lawyer may be able to recommend a therapist who is good at dealing with separation issues like this and can help you and your wife work on communication and whether to stay together.

If your wife is suffereing from post-partum depression, she needs to see a doctor as soon as possible.

Take care and please post again. You can start your own thread down below if you wish.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships."
sunrise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2008, 11:08 AM   #17
gordon80
Junior Member
gordon80 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2007
Posts: 9
10 yr Member
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

separated going on 2 months...we are working on things but it has been difficult...I have been ok with things...getting the priorities straight and i have made progress with myself and thusly with my relationship but in the process sometimes the lonelyness gets to me...the lack of a physical relationship of any kind has been uncomfortable in my mind eventhough i know unto it self it is not important...i yearn to talk to a woman...i suppose subconciously more but i know whom i want to be with and i will be patient...it is just sometimes the lonelyness becomes depressing...
gordon80 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2008, 08:06 PM   #18
Ismilka
Junior Member
Ismilka has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 6
10 yr Member
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

I don't even know in what category to post, my husband once more mention divorce and this time i don't even know why. I am so confused, I really don't want the divorce, but also I don't want to be in a marriage that every time that things get rocky, divorce is around the corner. What should I do?
Ismilka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2008, 10:44 PM   #19
GabeO
Junior Member
GabeO has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Posts: 6
10 yr Member
Angry Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

I know my break up is the "right thing" but it still hurts. Im angry with myself for being lied too and still love and miss her. I know I would take her back and that upsets me more
GabeO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 08:32 PM   #20
mountainhigh
Member
mountainhigh has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 42
My Mood: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

10 yr Member
Default Re: Welcome to Divorce and Separation

I know we will both move on but we talk almost everyday. We have joint custody of our 15 yr old daughter. But I am having a hard time getting my head around the fact that my (ex)wife will be dating etc. another man
and possibly already is. My main reason for divorceing her is her infidelity.
mountainhigh is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Books & resources on divorce & separation sunrise Divorce and Separation 5 03-31-2008 01:11 AM
separation anxiety Gabby2007 Anxiety, Panic and Phobias 5 05-28-2007 07:42 PM
Using the old separation to survive wisewoman Dissociative Disorders 6 12-04-2006 09:00 PM
Separation Anxiety dac0976 Anxiety, Panic and Phobias 1 08-23-2006 02:59 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:10 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines