Plural pronoun usage equals permission. - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 02-09-2019, 05:13 AM #1
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Default Plural pronoun usage equals permission.

I wonder if referring to self in the plural (us, we, them, they) in a way gives permission for the other parts to present more easily and with freedom?

So by not owning what the body says or does irregardless of “who” did it....does this keep one seperated? Or is it a step towards singledom?

Really trying to resist pluralism and approach from a singular point of view liking it or not. Or is that moot? Enquirering minds wants to know.
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Old 02-09-2019, 06:37 AM #2
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Default Re: Plural pronoun usage equals permission.

I don’t know, it feels goofy not to. We never say us, we, they, them in actual vernacular language when speaking to other persons...only in mind and online: and now THAT would sound goofy.

I don’t know why we’re stressing on it- who cares?
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Old 02-09-2019, 06:46 AM #3
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Default Re: Plural pronoun usage equals permission.

That's a very interesting question, AlwaysChanging2. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice to give to you. But I do think it's something worth thinking about it. I don't think using "we" as a pronoun is necessarely a step backwards. I think it's just a normal part of the process. After all, alters are going to stay for a while. I think it's expected, or at least therapists expect it. It's all about working towards integration, I think. That's just my opinion, though. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 02-09-2019, 02:24 PM #4
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Default Plural pronoun usage equals permission.

I use we, us, they freely in my journal and in the presence of my counselor.

I work very easily with IFS dynamics and it feels completely natural to refer to myself/my other parts in that way.

It does feel validating to my parts and it feels comforting to them that they are acknowledged.

I don’t think that will ever “go away” and not be “them” with integration and the process of us all learning to work together.

I really feel like it’s progress to give them that validation and importance of acknowledging that they are “they”, “us” and “them”.

I think in some form or shape, everyone has “parts” and it would be beneficial to acknowledge them that way.

ETA: I do not bring my parts out with other people. I think of the verse in Proverbs that talks about not throwing your pearls to swine and would not want to dishonor my parts in that way.
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Old 02-10-2019, 10:21 AM #5
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Default Re: Plural pronoun usage equals permission.

Thanks for bringing this up. I know it is a bit OT but I had noticed T uses plural forms a lot and often ones that imply that there are more people in the room than just the two of us. I wonder if he is opening space for parts to feel welcomed. T and I have not talked about parts yet as we are still new to eachother... but I am pretty sure he would want all the parts to feel like he was available to them and welcoming of them. So, I think he would actually encourage the use of we when appropriate. I think he would see it similar to a family therapy session but just one body. But I am just guessing as we have not gotten that far.
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Old 02-10-2019, 10:26 AM #6
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Default Re: Plural pronoun usage equals permission.

I feel like doing so is like taking two steps backwards....and whoever’s idea is this needs to stop. Always trying to please the masses are we. I also think that it is healthy to individualize to see the fragment or part for what it truly is and to treat that fragment with the love it deserves instead of burying it deep with generality. So I oppose such thinking, and I have a many of followers that do so, too.
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Old 02-12-2019, 07:43 PM #7
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Default Re: Plural pronoun usage equals permission.

Right now, I go from "I" to pronouns to categories to front, and their are several with other ways gestures mannerism here is the stimuli viewing it. As if a boss telling several to do things in a team setting. It never really works though, just more holes and alteration that cost you something that your not willing to pay!
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