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Old 01-23-2019, 01:16 PM   #1
Angie84
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Trig I don't feel safe

Last week I cut the artery in my wrist whilst dissociated. I managed to phone an ambulance as I'm assuming the bleeding brought me back. This is the second time in about 6 weeks that this has happened, with the police treating my house as a crime scene as the paramedics did not think I was going to make it. I'm still feeling weak from the blood loss, but I fear that it's going to happen again. Everyone I feel my heart beat or pulse, I feel like it needs to stop. I don't want to die, but I feel like it's going to happen. I just don't feel safe. I told my psychiatrist this today, but I feel like she isn't helping, she knows I dissociate but states I still need to be responsible for my own safety. It just doesn't feel that easy.
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Old 01-23-2019, 01:28 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angie84 View Post
Last week I cut the artery in my wrist whilst dissociated. I managed to phone an ambulance as I'm assuming the bleeding brought me back. This is the second time in about 6 weeks that this has happened, with the police treating my house as a crime scene as the paramedics did not think I was going to make it. I'm still feeling weak from the blood loss, but I fear that it's going to happen again. Everyone I feel my heart beat or pulse, I feel like it needs to stop. I don't want to die, but I feel like it's going to happen. I just don't feel safe. I told my psychiatrist this today, but I feel like she isn't helping, she knows I dissociate but states I still need to be responsible for my own safety. It just doesn't feel that easy.
I am sorry you are not feeling safe. just wanted to let you know that I have read your post. when I am not feeling safe I call my treatment provider and then go in to the nearest emergency room/ crisis area.

you are new here so maybe now would be a good time to point out a few things for you.. down at the bottom of every page is psych centrals disclaimer. to me it says we cant be each others treatment providers or diagnose problems. there is also a few "sticky" postings around the forums that you will see, that say psych central isnt for things like crisis situations. for crisis situations we have to contact our own treatment providers or go to emergency / crisis places in our own off computer locations....

let me give you an example... what if I posted I was suicidal. then a few days later someone does a post letting the community know that I was successful in my attempt and was no longer around. how would that make others feel? Im guessing my suicide would hurt people here and make them want to do it their self. the same with when I am self injuring. it could make others have bad reactions.

Im not saying you are doing anything wrong by posting how you are ......"feeling".........

just letting you know that there is a very firm line of what we can do and help each other with here on psych central...

we can read your post, let you know if we have felt the same way in the past and what we and our own treatment providers have done about it. We can suggest you contact your doctors or go to the ER, but thats as far as we can go when someone is in crisis mode here.

bottom line is only you and your treatment providers can help you when you are in crisis modes. and thats the way is should be. Im not you, Im not in your location and Im not your doctors so trying to help someone in crisis mode here can actually do more harm then good.

please contact your treatment providers or go to your nearest emergency room.
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Old 01-23-2019, 01:39 PM   #3
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This is making me angry. Not you, them. Why cant they just help you. Im worried about you. I think that you need to find a better psychiatrist if you can. Dont that understand you cant control when you dissociate? You need to have this talk with them. Tell them that is not unde r your control and you need help.
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Old 01-23-2019, 02:22 PM   #4
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Thanks for replying, it makes me feel better that someone else understands. I am seeing my psychologist tomorrow so I'm going to sit and write some stuff out tonight for her, as I often dissociate during our sessions. My psychologist seems to understand dissociation much better, but the psychiatrist is the one 'in charge' of my care. My psychiatrist's answer is just to increase my anti psychotic medication and give me diazepam for anxiety. I don't want meds, they don't work for dissociation. My psychiatrist also doesn't want me to see my own GP, despite me telling her how much she (my GP) helps. I just don't know what to do, it's horrible being scared of yourself.
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Old 01-23-2019, 02:26 PM   #5
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I'm so sorry, Angie84 That sounds terrible. I'm so sorry you're not getting the help you need. Can you find another psychiatrist? I agree she doesn't sounds too helpful. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. Things can and will get better. Try to hang on. You deserve much better than this, and hopefully you'll get it sooner or later. Try to find some distractions. What do you like to do in your free time? If things get worse, please go to the hospital, although I understand it's not a pleasant experience. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I hope writing here helps a bit. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-23-2019, 02:52 PM   #6
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I don't think it's easy to change psychiatrist as they are linked to the GP surgery I'm registered with. It does help writing here in the sense that others understand me. I'm really trying to stay strong and keep my mind active. I wrote a new crisis plan with grounding techniques and mindfulness in the hope I don't dissociate so readily, but I can't help feeling that it's going to happen regardless, and feel I need to prepare myself for it.
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Old 01-23-2019, 03:05 PM   #7
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I'm so sorry, Angie84 I understand what you mean. It's good that you're making a plan. Let's hope nothing will happen, but at least you're preparing yourself for it. Be proud of yourself for that. And yes, keep trying your best - that's all you can do, after all. I hope your psychologist will be able to help as well. Keep writing here if it helps. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-23-2019, 03:07 PM   #8
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Thanks. I'll let Yous know how I get on tomorrow.
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Old 01-23-2019, 03:16 PM   #9
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Well I think that your Psychiatrist just doesnt get it. Can she/he talk to your Psychologist?
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Old 01-23-2019, 04:24 PM   #10
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Ye, they do speak to each other. That's why I'm hoping my psychologist can help her to understand.
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