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Old 01-18-2019, 12:25 PM   #11
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I'm so sorry, elevatedsoul I wish I had some advice to offer. Just know that I'm here to listen to you, if you want. I've read your posts and I care. Please don't give up. Things can get better, no matter how bad they seem right now. You can do this! You're strong, I'm sure of that. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if there's something I can do to help. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-19-2019, 12:49 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
Im Money hungry 🤔

Hummm... using the term possesion i meant as if something else steps up to the front, outside world, while the rest of the energy is detoured.

I contemplate that from time to time as im not in agreement with some of myself, or actions, desires, or feelings(?)Sometimes.

But i go on some how a lot of times not aware of the change, until i sort of snap back and have a 'moment' becoming aware and changing back.. its bad during a lot of stress, and often triggers a depression as i dont want to live like that..

I don't know what seemingly version of me is me any more? So, i used the term foreign.. feeling separated and unrecognizeable?

The 1 thing i do know, is the version i am trying to create!

Rich and stable! Money, cars, house, friends, happiness, no drama, no drug abuse!

As it stands, i have no money, no car (again), no job (again), no friends, my family is ****ed so cant even talk to them, dont even seem to have myself.
But i can create, and creation i will
Im sorry that you feel this way but the only thing I can suggest is you contact your doctor and have them get you back in touch with the treatment provider that diagnosed you as being borderline personality disorder not Dissociative disorders. your doctors and your therapists are the ones treating you so they are in the best position to help you.

all we can do here is read your posts and let you know that we are reading them. its up to you and your treatment providers to get you stabilized again.
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Old 01-19-2019, 08:16 PM   #13
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Maybe it just been epilepsy this whole time
and my brain just been slowly dieing
never present never grounded
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