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Old 12-04-2017, 04:06 PM   #1
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Default Not sure I always know.....

While I write this I have no idea who I am. Not sure there is one part of mind that understands anymore. While one moment, feel very much in control and want to get better the very next second I seem to get angry to the point of breaking things.

Last edited by just2b; 12-04-2017 at 06:01 PM.. Reason: Correction to content
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:05 AM   #2
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Default Re: Not sure I always know.....

I feel that way a lot. Sometimes I just don't feel like me and don't know who I am. I thought that meant that I don't have DID, because I thought DID was all about complete alters being totally separate but my therapist tells me that experience of not feeling like self is really common in DID too. Sometimes the dissociation and splits are complete and sometimes they are "fuzzy".
I really hate it when I feel "not me" but it isn't a switch with another part being them it is just me feeling completely different.
Ultimately I suppose all of the parts have to be felt as part of the self so I guess there are lots of shades between "black and white".
I am very tired and I think I am just rambling. Sorry if this wasn't what you meant at all!
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Old 12-06-2017, 03:26 AM   #3
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Default Re: Not sure I always know.....

Oh yes my post was confusing I think. I meant most of my alters are complete splits and I don't experience them as me (or experience them at all). But sometimes I feel like you describe. I just don't feel like "me" and experience my self as very unfamiliar and different but don't know who I am.
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Old 12-06-2017, 06:43 PM   #4
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Default Re: Not sure I always know.....

I also have trouble understanding who I am. It's confusing for me because I tend to identify with whatever part is active, even when I am co-conscious.
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Old 12-07-2017, 02:09 AM   #5
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Default Re: Not sure I always know.....

Hate it when T will say something to imply I am not my most adult mind and feel offended but moments later I realize she was right.
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Old 12-10-2017, 09:28 PM   #6
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Default Re: Not sure I always know.....

This happens to me too. Happened about an hour or so ago in fact. Changed in to this sullen guy who 'to me' is kind of a jerk but, he/it has no name. It comes and goes. Now I'm me again. The original I mean and I don't even know when I changed back. I really would like to know just how many there are in here with me and for them all to have names. I think that it would be easier to keep track of things that way.
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