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Old 11-09-2017, 08:42 AM   #11
Anonymous55397
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Default Re: big problem..

I know we cannot diagnose here but it does not sound like DID at all to me, but rather side effects from hard drug use and psychiatric drug withdrawal. DID is something that only develops in very early childhood, not out of the blue in adulthood. I know it can be reassuring to look for that label that explains your problems, but this isn't the one.

As RubyRae said, take your meds as prescribed and stay away from hard drugs.
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Old 11-09-2017, 08:49 AM   #12
amandalouise
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Default Re: big problem..

Elevated soul... yes Im going to say this... here we go again. no Im not saying this to be mean. Im saying this so that you can see whats going on because you said you are scared and dont know what is going on.......

if you reread your past posts you will see you have this same pattern in your posts where you are on track and doing ok, your doctors get you stable and on a treatment plan that starts to take care of some of your problems.

then you start asking questions about diagnostics and other peoples experiences with things you admit in your posts that you havent been diagnosed with yet.. basically researching online and on members...

then you take a break from posting and come back with posts loaded with how you went out, got drunk and high, cant remember what happened, add in the dangerous things, suicidal things. then after someone posts they are afraid for you, you post things like Im ok, everything is fine its just this or that.....then when no one answers you posts get more erratic and suicidal... (including things that later you say didnt happen), then when people do express their worry over you, your posts start saying dont worry, Im ok its just this or just that. and denying this or that, then we all have to point out to you in your posts where you said this or that happened...

my point I used to do this same cycle all the time, my doctors get me started on a treatment plan, then I throw it all to the wind and then complain to my friends how I messed up, how something strange is happening to me, and how maybe this or that happened while I was under the influence, but with no proof that the unremembered idea of something happening to me happened. denial when confronted... the whole works....Ive been there and done that...

heres the thing.... my having DID was to protect me not cause me problems. that meant that if I was out drinking and out with friends that were doing things my alters kept me safe. they prevented future rapes, not caused me to be raped, they were there to prevent someone from slipping me bad drugs, they were there to help me get home when I could not do so.... in other words they were there to do the things I could not do for myself since before I was 5 years old. it was this part of what DID was in me that enabled my doctors to see my pattern of self sabotaging and diagnose that pattern as other things then my DID. kind of like the rule for DID is the problems cant be because of other things. (you can read the actual DID rules at your library in the diagnostic books)

anyway by removing everything that was not DID and not dissociative symptoms like i thought they were, my treatment providers saw my pattern for what it was, my acting out, my going through the same cycles over and over again, Im not saying it was easy, it wasnt, I had to have patience and work with my treatment providers not against them. I had to choose to stay away from the drinking, I had to stop using mental disorders as an excuse of why I was drinking.

you already know doing drugs and alcohol keeps messing you up and makes you have dissociative like problems. (you have said this many times in your past posts) so why do it. like me you may have to sit down and look closer at why you keep doing the same things over and over again. only you can find your answers and make things so that you get better or stay in the same problems over and over and over and over again.

the good thing about psych central is there is always going to be people reading and replying to posts, it may not be the same people reading and replying because people do get better and move beyond staying stuck in the same patterns, which means they focus more on reading and posting to others like them that are moving on, not staying stuck in the same patterns over and over, but with thousands of members joining every day theres always going to be people here at the very least reading your posts and some will reply... thats evidence that you are not alone and never will be alone in this...

but even then its still up to you to decide whether you want to keep drinking and keep doing drugs, which causes you (by your own admission many times in your own posts, not making a diagnosis here) to not remember things, have hang overs, lime loss and other drinking and drugging problems that may or may not be dissociation depending on what your own treatment providers call it.

I chose to move on from that cycle of being around friends that drank to oblivion and did drugs around me... you are going to have to make your own choices.

when you decide to move beyond this cycle there is help.....

there is a board for addictions maybe you can find someone there that can tell you more about how they got unstuck from drinking and doing meth and weed.

your doctors can also get you into detox like they have before.
your doctors can also help you to get into alcohol and drug treatment programs.
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Old 11-09-2017, 08:55 AM   #13
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Default Re: big problem..

I also wanted to add that instead of beating yourself up,stressing over this and trying to put a mental illness label to it,see it for what it was.

I have done so many humiliating,stupid,bizarre things in the past while drunk.Dancing on a table out in public...should I try to label it as a different personality or see it for what it was,that I was super wasted?

You are overthinking this.And I can guarantee if you tell a professional about it you will not get a DID diagnosis because of it.
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Old 11-09-2017, 09:10 AM   #14
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Thanks...

I know i wouldnt get a dx from it..

I always am hard on myself and only wanted to go out to try to have fun because ive been having such a hard time and i kinda screwed it up...

I only worry about the d i d because i have been through a lot of things they say can cause it... and ex t said i dissociate alot but when i asked her about d i d she just said it may or may not be one thing is certain you have developmental childhood trauma...

Im scared to write too many details i dont want to give away my identity if any of them found me on here
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Old 11-09-2017, 09:26 AM   #15
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Quote:
. I know i wouldnt get a dx from it.
I guess I'm wondering why you would even think it has anything to do with DID to be honest or why you would even worry that it means you have it.
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Old 11-09-2017, 10:35 AM   #16
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Because of the experience.. what i felt, heard, seen, didnt see, didnt hear..

I am very forgetful... and it just awoke some fears...
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Old 11-09-2017, 11:20 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
Because of the experience.. what i felt, heard, seen, didnt see, didnt hear..

I am very forgetful... and it just awoke some fears...
But.....but....you were on some heavy duty drugs and most people would attribute what you experienced to the drugs(and not taking their meds) rather than jumping to the conclusion that it might be DID.

That would be as logical as doing acid and hallucinating and then being concerned about psychosis or another mental illness without considering the obvious.
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Old 11-09-2017, 11:27 AM   #18
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I have never experienced it like that before...
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Old 11-09-2017, 11:33 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
I have never experienced it like that before...
Just as not each acid trip would be the same,withdrawals or even the meth,etc experiences can and are different.Just the same as each strain of weed gives a different type of high,some are a body buzz,some a head buzz,some make you zone out,others give you energy.

So having a different experience does not equal DID.

I think you should probably talk about all of this when you go on the 10th to ease your fears.
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Old 11-09-2017, 11:45 AM   #20
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I know, its just stupid thought i had of explain how i experience daily life..

Its not the first time... feeling like this.. of thinking it might be d.i.d.

Im really depersonalized and shaken up...

I dont think im alive or a real person...
Because i just dont see anyone else having problems like this .. so i know something not right...

Im just scared because i got stuck and dunno what was goin on... think they think im insane because i was acting so bizarre.. now i dunno what to do because the whole world is going to think i am...
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